The rules are that the guy should be polite enough to offer and the gal polite enough to decline. Like most mating rituals, it’s a game.
I’ve never made much money and since coming to Taiwan I make even less so I seldom if ever can pay. But then I’ve never dated either - maybe the two are connected.
Yeah, Erhu, when on a date with a Taiwanese guy, I went to pull money out to pay for my drink and something just felt strange when I tried. I felt bad because I was working and he was just a student, but he said that he told his parents that he was spending their money on lessons rather than admitting that it was going toward going out with me. I attempted to pay a few more times on dates and even tried slipping him the money after he had paid. I doubt that it was a “I pay for you…and you can pay me back in other ways” thing. It was flattering to be treated by him (or rather by his parents who probably would have protested to him entertaining a foreigner and a black one at that), but it took a while to get over feeling guilty for having someone pay for something that I myself could have paid for.
I really don’t like the pettiness of being exact when going Dutch. I find females are more picky about making sure that everyone pays their exact share of the bill, down to the last NT$1 whereas I couldn’t care less if I pay $20 more than my bill says I should. It detracts from every single positive thing that happened during the meal. I haven’t had this problem when I have been on a date with a guy because either we pay separately, or he’ll fudge the numbers in my favor and give me any change that comes. Or he’ll insist on paying himself.
I did have one person I dated a few years ago here who had no problem with making me pay for everything and often expected that I would with weak promises to pay me back when he got paid. He went as far as to ask me to go through the handicapped entrance of the MRT so he could sneak in on my card. His cheap ways (and insensitivity) was the biggest influence in deciding to drop him like a second-hand Kleenex. Thus why I put that option in the poll. If there’s one vote under it, I’ll know it’s him.
I’ll definetly pay on the first couple dates if I meet someone new. No question about it. Ya gotta put in a good first impression!
Seriously, I would personally feel strange to have a girl I hardly know paying for my dinner or even half the bill. If in fact the realationship becomes long-term, then having her buy dinner once in a while is fine.
It’s reciprocal, right? I dunno…I think the guy paying, especially for dinner, is easier and makes the woman feel good. Letting my date foot the bill makes me feel awkward, however well intended.
It is nice sometimes though. Especially if it’s just before payday and it’s her suggestion. I know it also makes women feel good to pay the bill for a guy they like. 
Ah interacting with the fairer sex. No means no unless of course it means yes. And then of course if you ask a couple of times and get negative reesponses, the worst thing you can do is stop asking. Please remember that most of us poor men folk have no “sixth” sense so you really need to make things clear, otherwise our heads start to spin 
As for the poll. I guess at first, if we did go out, I paid, mainly because I was drinking and she wasn’t. But that isn’t a rule I restrict to ladies. We may have avoided what appears to be a real minefield by just not going out too much. We would cook for each other at home. (I can still remeber the first meal. I spent ages making a lasagne only to watch her cover it it with chill powder to give it some kick :fume: ) Now what’s mine is hers and hers is her own so I don’t know who pays 
In all truth, I really can’t relate to the comments about Taiwanese girls being money orientated and liking to spend spend spend (preferably someone else’s money). She who must be obeyed (to gove her her proper title) is entirely sensible with cash (although less analy retentive about spending any money at all than I am).
I always drink more than my date, so that make a 50/50 split NG.
Who pays?
That depends who the date is…
I say:
-The one who invites
and/or
-The one with the most money (or can write off as company expense)
HOTTALA!!!
As a man, those would be my choices with the third option being either being 1) dutch for very casual or 2) every other time if the intention is to “date”.
The Chinese in general don’t do the 50/50 thing very well, my relatives always cast ‘selfishism’ opinions and the xiao qi-ness of the West when the rules of banqueting and the mess of social customs that come with that are flouted.
I’m with Imaniou on this, I’m not so bothered with 50/50 thing, if he wants to order a ton of food and I only have a Coke I still wouldn’t mind. It seems so petty and pernickety - the bill is just a part of the experience and its more important for me to spend time in the company of whoever it was and not be so ‘cheap’ about it all.
Butcher boy’s on the money, if you cook for a girl (even on a first date and even if it turns out horrendously bad) - it says so much more and if you don’t hit it off romantically you can be sure we’ll reccomend you to our female friends.
It worked for me - my first date with my wife was supposed to be Dim Sum, but the restaurant was packed, so I took her to my place and cooked for her. It must have been ok, because she married me! 
Result! :bravo:
Result! :bravo:
Actually, there was quite a long interval between Maoman cooking and the commencement of marital bliss. She didn’t say “Wow, what great beans on toast. Will you marry me?” She actually had time to figure out that beans on toast is the only thing he can ‘cook’, and still married him. :loco:
As she had met me by that time I really can’t understand why she chose to marry such a looser. I can make at least three different kinds of curry, and chili as well! Surely I would have been a much better catch? It just goes to show how irrational women are.
Bringing a girl home to cook for her is a guaranteed winner, but dragging a girl out from the city to the wilds of Lotus Hill on a first date? Probably not, unless she’s already sold.
As for paying. I never pay on a first ‘date’. I don’t like there to be any ambiguity about ‘obligations’. In fact, if a girl expects me to pay then that’s a bad sign in my book. If she’s digging for her money when the bill comes then she gets more respect than she would if she needed to be prompted.
Once in a relationship, or on a platonic date, I’m pretty indifferent about who pays. People buy me dinners, I buy people dinners, we go halfs, one of us buys the drinks, whatever. It all works out fairly in the end, unless I’m with someone who doesn’t have a lot of money. In that case, who cares? I can afford it, you can’t, I enjoy your sompany and I suggested we come here. My treat. As long as I’m not being exploited it doesn’t matter.