Penguinism

Politics International Politics
21

:sunglasses: :thumbsup:

That may very well be the case. However, there is no question that penguins lack proper morals, at least I would think according to Rascal. Penguin Prostitution
 and thievery too!

[quote]PRACTITIONERS of the oldest profession have been found at work on the icy shores of Antarctica plying their trade in a dress of black and white feathers - they are penguin prostitutes.

The first recorded examples of bird prostitution have been observed in colonies of Adelie penguins on Ross Island, about 800 miles from the South Pole, by Dr Fiona Hunter of Cambridge University and Dr Lloyd Davis of the University of Otago, supported by the New Zealand Antarctic Programme.

They observed how male Adelies pay for sexual favours with rocks and stones, a limited resource that can prove crucial for the survival of broods. In no other bird have such extra-marital exchanges been recorded, said Dr Hunter, a post-doctoral researcher who has made annual visits to Antarctica to study their sex life.

She described how, at the start of the breeding season, the penguins hunt for stones. Once all the loose rocks have been collected, they attempt to peck them out of the frozen mud to construct a nest platform, crucial to keep eggs high and dry above mud and chilly melt water.

Stones are so valuable that they will steal them from each other, though they risk being attacked by the owners of the hard currency. In the journal Auk, Drs Hunter and Davis describe how females have developed another strategy: they lure nearby male penguins for sex in exchange for the rocks. “Females have figured out that one way to steal the stones without being attacked is to swap copulations for them,” said Dr Hunter.

They slip away from their partner and wander over to the nest of an unpaired male. Standard courtship follows, with a dip of the head and a coy look from the corner of her eye. If he shows interest, she will lie prone which, in the language of penguin love, is an invitation to mate or carry out what the scientists call “extra-pair copulation”.

Once mating is over, the female picks up her payment, a stone, and carries it to her nesting platform. Sometimes their customers are so satisfied that the females can return for second helpings of stones, without having to offer more sex. Other females found that a little courtship was enough to persuade a male to allow them to play with a rock, then cart it away. One especially teasing female managed to collect 62 stones this way, said Dr Hunter. “The males were probably duped into thinking that she was a possible partner.”

The zoologists are now analysing the benefits of penguin whoredom. While the male may lose some of his rocks, he gains the possibility of fathering extra chicks. The benefits to the females are less clear. “I don’t think that she is just after his stones,” said Dr Hunter. “Perhaps the female mates with an extra male for another reason, say to increase the quality or genetic variability of her offspring. This seems reasonable given that not all males actually father the chicks they help to rear.”

Another reason for seeking male company could be to form a relationship with a potential mate for the next season if her partner dies. The team is now planning another trip to the frozen continent to uncover more details of the penguin’s complicated love life.

sentex.net/~tntcomm/kwfn/Penguin.htm

[/quote][/quote]

I would not count prostitution as evil. Quite the contrary, in penguin society, penguin prostitution is a good thing in that it preserves harmony on those long wintery nights. Every society has different values; you cannot judge penguins by human values. Anyway, look at all that bigamy in Utah. No penguins in Utah because penguins have standards and do not force penguin morals on others unlike the those Mormons who travel the world bludgeoning people with their silly idea of how to be moral. Oh no.

Penguin prostitution is good.

Sincerely,

BroonAle,
Champion penguin pimp.

Oh yes.

22

Tigerman:

Well, I for one am not in the least bit surprised. The lack of morality among the penguins like our French friends is common knowledge. To even raise the question of spineless cowardice, amoral cynical mindless Leftism among French or penguins merely serves to underline the naivete of the speaker in question for not knowing a fact that is instinctively felt and understood by all thinking creatures. Back to you Brune Ale. Back to you, you dirty, filthy, penguin-loving, pathetic, sad case for a political activist. Why don’t you reveal the TRUTH. The REAL truth and that is that the penguins have been depositing large sums of money into your back account each and every month from the codoil for feathers program. ADMIT it. (perhaps I should rephrase this as evidence that you have been using the program to feather your bed?) And that your brother just so happens to be related to the president of the South Georgia Penguin society’s political action party. Gotcha! AND that your mother’s sister’s best friend’s niece is none other than the Penguin Ambassador to the South Pole, which as we all know is a center for eggivism. AHA! Answer that if you will! Gotcha!

23

[quote=“BroonAle”][quote=“fred smith”]
please explain to me how you would justify any penguinist claims to Paraguay when it lies 1,000 miles inland.
[/quote]
This is an outrageous slur. :upyours: The International Penguin Protocol does not lay claim to Paraguay and no penguin in their right mind would want to live there.[/quote]

Naturally, Signor Smitheranza conveniently ignores the Gaucho-Penguin Border Act of 1867 in which the Penguin Council signed a treaty with the Gauche Gauchoists of the Pampas (and not the Gouash Art Gauchoists of the Calbido) recognizing each party’s sphere of influence. To this day, penguins live up to that treaty and do not venture into Paraguay. In fact, there is still a turquoise-and-pearl-inlay ‘facon’ given by Pedro de Mendoza to the Penguin President to commemorate this event.
Viva la Penguinistas.

24

And then of course there is the matter of gay penguins:

[quote]Roy and Silo, two chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan, are completely devoted to each other. For nearly six years now, they have been inseparable. They exhibit what in penguin parlance is called “ecstatic behavior”: that is, they entwine their necks, they vocalize to each other, they have sex. Silo and Roy are, to anthropomorphize a bit, gay penguins. When offered female companionship, they have adamantly refused it. And the females aren’t interested in them, either.

At one time, the two seemed so desperate to incubate an egg together that they put a rock in their nest and sat on it, keeping it warm in the folds of their abdomens, said their chief keeper, Rob Gramzay. Finally, he gave them a fertile egg that needed care to hatch. Things went perfectly. Roy and Silo sat on it for the typical 34 days until a chick, Tango, was born. For the next two and a half months they raised Tango, keeping her warm and feeding her food from their beaks until she could go out into the world on her own. Mr. Gramzay is full of praise for them.

lawrence.com/forum/community 
 g/85030927[/quote]

And what is this about Tango
 Is Tangoism born of Penguinism
 Or is it a reaction to gay Penguinism
??? :astonished:

25

[quote]Naturally, Signor Smitheranza conveniently ignores the Gaucho-Penguin Border Act of 1867 in which the Penguin Council signed a treaty with the Gauche Gauchoists of the Pampas (and not the Gouash Art Gauchoists of the Calbido) recognizing each party’s sphere of influence. To this day, penguins live up to that treaty and do not venture into Paraguay. In fact, there is still a turquoise-and-pearl-inlay ‘facon’ given by Pedro de Mendoza to the Penguin President to commemorate this event.
Viva la Penguinistas.[/quote]

First of all the Gauche Gauchoists of the Pampas were not the recognized authority and as such were not entitled to sign an agreement regarding ANYTHING. In addition, no treaty of such importance could have been signed EVEN by the recognized authorities WITHOUT holding the necessary referendum which would have required a quorum. Nice try, but this is just typical penguinista hubdrub that skates very widely of the true facts. The truth of the matter is that penguinista claims to the South Atlantic have never been recognized by any government (except the pathetic grouping of fouled rocky islets (27 at last count)) that are bought by codoil for feathers slush funds.

Tigerman:

KUDOS KUDOS KUDOS and an A++++++ for effort. :notworthy: :notworthy: :notworthy:

26

[quote=“Jack Burton”][quote=“BroonAle”][quote=“fred smith”]
please explain to me how you would justify any penguinist claims to Paraguay when it lies 1,000 miles inland.
[/quote]
This is an outrageous slur. :upyours: The International Penguin Protocol does not lay claim to Paraguay and no penguin in their right mind would want to live there.[/quote]

Naturally, Signor Smitheranza conveniently ignores the Gaucho-Penguin Border Act of 1867 in which the Penguin Council signed a treaty with the Gauche Gauchoists of the Pampas (and not the Gouash Art Gauchoists of the Calbido) recognizing each party’s sphere of influence. To this day, penguins live up to that treaty and do not venture into Paraguay. In fact, there is still a turquoise-and-pearl-inlay ‘facon’ given by Pedro de Mendoza to the Penguin President to commemorate this event.
Viva la Penguinistas.[/quote]

EGGSACTLY! Now if there was an emoticon which said: “eat penguin shit and freeze”, I would use it. Counter that Senor Smith!

Viva Las Penguinistas. Si!

27

BroonAle is shown above inciting a band of Penguinistas to action


28

Brune Ale:

What about those slush funds? Huh? What about them? This corruption is just the tip of the iceberg!

29

[quote=“tigerman”]And then of course there is the matter of gay penguins:

[quote]Roy and Silo, two chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan, are completely devoted to each other. For nearly six years now, they have been inseparable. They exhibit what in penguin parlance is called “ecstatic behavior”: that is, they entwine their necks, they vocalize to each other, they have sex. Silo and Roy are, to anthropomorphize a bit, gay penguins. When offered female companionship, they have adamantly refused it. And the females aren’t interested in them, either.

At one time, the two seemed so desperate to incubate an egg together that they put a rock in their nest and sat on it, keeping it warm in the folds of their abdomens, said their chief keeper, Rob Gramzay. Finally, he gave them a fertile egg that needed care to hatch. Things went perfectly. Roy and Silo sat on it for the typical 34 days until a chick, Tango, was born. For the next two and a half months they raised Tango, keeping her warm and feeding her food from their beaks until she could go out into the world on her own. Mr. Gramzay is full of praise for them.

lawrence.com/forum/community 
 g/85030927[/quote]

[/quote]

Tigerman: Penguin society has always been a tolerant one. Given the difficulties in discerning the gender differences when the weather is blustery, as it frequently is, and the necessity to “get one’s rocks off” (now there’s a penguish phrase), gay penguinism and bi-penguinality have been part of the normal way of seeking relief in the oft harsh environment in what we shall now call Penguinland.

30

Tolerant my ass
 um my foot


Penguinism has always had at its basis the call for the destruction of tangoism. How in the name of all that is holy do you call that tolerant and why do we need tolerance from anyone when we are only demanding what is rightfully ours?

31

[quote=“tigerman”]http://www.lawrence.com/forum/community_forum/msg/85030927

And what is this about Tango
 Is Tangoism born of Penguinism
 Or is it a reaction to gay Penguinism
??? :astonished:[/quote]

As an aside, something from the article [quote]Before his own book, “American scientists who investigated bonobos never discussed sex at all,” said Mr. de Waal, director of the Living Links Center of the Yerkes Primate Center at Emory University in Atlanta. "Or they sometimes would show two females having sex together, and would say, `The females are very affectionate.’ "[/quote]

32

Nutty Penguins

[quote]A few penguins swimming leisurely at the San Francisco Zoo is nothing new. But dozens of them doing laps in unison for hours has zookeepers perplexed.

It all started in November when six newcomer Magellannic penguins, formerly of Sea World in Aurora, Ohio, were brought in.

Since then the penguin pool at the San Francisco Zoo has been a daily frenzy of circle swimming by all of the 52 birds at once.

The penguins start swimming in circles early in the day and rarely stop until they stagger out of the pool at dusk.

therat.blogspot.com/2003_01_12_t 
 l#87554258
[/quote]

33

[quote=“tigerman”]

BroonAle is shown above inciting a band of Penguinistas to action
[/quote]

I remember that day well. It was April 2nd 1982 when Tangoist forces from Argentina egged on by Rogue Penguin Galtieri, attempted to take the Motherland. I am seen here (suitably attired in combat gear) urging a battalion of crack penguin paratroopers to take up arms and leap to the defence of the Falkland Islands until our British allies arrived.

General BroonAle (ret.)

34

Hah Brune Ale:

More penguinist lies. This was you after facing down your many angry suitors! Apparently, you took “letting them get their rocks off” a bit too literally and here they are demanding the return of their property.

35

Perhaps too embarassing.

36

Penguins: Peace-Loving or Warlike?

[quote=“Anatole France in Penguin Island”]“It is the war-hymn against the Porpoises,” answered the peasant.
“Everybody here sings it. Little children know it before they can
speak. We are all good Penguins.”
“You don’t like the Porpoises then?”
“We hate them.”
“For what reason do you hate them?”
“Need you ask? Are not the Porpoises neighbours of the Penguins!”
“Of course.”
“Well, that is why the Penguins hate the Porpoises.”
“Is that a reason?”
"Certainly. He who says neighbours says enemies. Look at the field
that borders mine. It belongs to the man I hate most in the world.
After him my worst enemies are the people of the village on the
other slope of the valley at the foot of that birchwood. In this
narrow valley formed of two parts there are but that village and mine:
they are enemies. Every time that our lads meet the others, insults
and blows pass between them. And you want the Penguins not to be
enemies of the Porpoises! Don’t you know what patriotism is? For my
part there are but two cries that rise to my lips: ‘Hurrah for the
Penguins! Death to the Porpoises!’"
During thirteen centuries the Penguins made war upon all the peoples
in the world with a constant ardour and diverse fortunes.

eserver.org/fiction/penguin-island.txt
[/quote]

37

[quote=“tigerman”]Nutty Penguins

[quote]A few penguins swimming leisurely at the San Francisco Zoo is nothing new. But dozens of them doing laps in unison for hours has zookeepers perplexed.

It all started in November when six newcomer Magellannic penguins, formerly of Sea World in Aurora, Ohio, were brought in.

Since then the penguin pool at the San Francisco Zoo has been a daily frenzy of circle swimming by all of the 52 birds at once.

The penguins start swimming in circles early in the day and rarely stop until they stagger out of the pool at dusk.

[/quote][/quote]

Nutty? How so? The six penguins (better known to all students of the penguinista movement as the Ushuaia Six as a result of the outstanding success of their covert activities in Tierra Del Fuego that saw the conversion of an entire colony of southern Tangoists to the True Path) arrived in San Francisco from Ohio under cover of darkness following a very successful six month mountain combat training period on the Fitzroy peak.
Their mission in the Ohio fastness, far from the prying eyes of Tangoist spies? Intensive training of the select few that will be the vanguard of the first wave. These noble birds will use their newly acquired strength and skills to infiltrate, harry and thoroughly demoralize the Tangoist defences, paving the way for the mass invasion that will be coming soon.
The day will come, my friends, when the plaintive yet oh-so-cloying and these days, simply bourgeois, bandoneon of Piazolla will be supplanted and the strident and triumphal strains of the penguinista bray will ring out over the pampas!

38

[quote=“sandman”]Nutty? How so? The six penguins (better known to all students of the penguinista movement as the Ushuaia Six as a result of the outstanding success of their covert activities in Tierra Del Fuego that saw the conversion of an entire colony of southern Tangoists to the True Path) arrived in Ohio under cover of darkness following a very successful six month mountain combat training period on the Fitzroy peak.
Their mission in the Ohio fastness, far from the prying eyes of Tangoist spies? Intensive training of the select few that will be the vanguard of the first wave. These noble birds will use their newly acquired strength and skills to infiltrate, harry and thoroughly demoralize the Tangoist defences, paving the way for the mass invasion that will be coming soon.
The day will come, my friends, when the plaintive yet oh-so-cloying and these days, simply bourgeois, bandoneon of Piazolla will be supplanted and the strident and triumphal strains of the penguinista bray will ring out over the pampas![/quote]

Well, it all makes sense now
 especially after reading what Anatole France wrote in Penguin Island.

BroonAle
 What have you to say?

39

[quote=“fred smith”]Hah Brune Ale:

More penguinist lies. This was you after facing down your many angry suitors! Apparently, you took “letting them get their rocks off” a bit too literally and here they are demanding the return of their property.[/quote]

Hah? Hah? please do not try to re-write history you usurping, expansionist handicraft-loving, kaftan wearing tangoist otterite!

You have no idea what yuou are talking about. I WAS THERE! Even you concede that. I know my penguin history buddy. I had a part in shaping the destiny of penguins. I led the penguin resistance to the Argie tangoist forces and was widely hailed as the saviour of the penguins after the battle of Mount Pleasant. Margaret Thatcher even presented the 2nd Penguin Para Brigade with a silver Iceberg lettuce engraved with the words “No ice for Denis, he takes it neat”. I shall treasure the moment. In honour of my achievement, I was made an honourary penguin for life.

Jack: The new International Penguin Protocol to be ratified later in the year will include the term “Little Penguin Formerly Known As Fairy Penguin”. This is to harmonize the diiferent terms used. Conversely “Big Penguin Never Formerly Known As Fairy Penguin And Not LIttle Either” will replace “Emperor Penguin” which was deemed too imperialistic and elitist.

I thank you for interest and continued support of Pan Penguinism

40

[quote=“tigerman”][quote=“sandman”]Nutty? How so? The six penguins (better known to all students of the penguinista movement as the Ushuaia Six as a result of the outstanding success of their covert activities in Tierra Del Fuego that saw the conversion of an entire colony of southern Tangoists to the True Path) arrived in Ohio under cover of darkness following a very successful six month mountain combat training period on the Fitzroy peak.
Their mission in the Ohio fastness, far from the prying eyes of Tangoist spies? Intensive training of the select few that will be the vanguard of the first wave. These noble birds will use their newly acquired strength and skills to infiltrate, harry and thoroughly demoralize the Tangoist defences, paving the way for the mass invasion that will be coming soon.
The day will come, my friends, when the plaintive yet oh-so-cloying and these days, simply bourgeois, bandoneon of Piazolla will be supplanted and the strident and triumphal strains of the penguinista bray will ring out over the pampas![/quote]

Well, it all makes sense now
 especially after reading what Anatole France wrote in Penguin Island.

BroonAle
 What have you to say?[/quote]

Pan Penguinism has a porpoise.