We are in Taiwan for the 365 day stint to get our new son (3 months old so far) his ID card.
On the way, in the hotel in Singapore, one particular lady came up to say how cure he was then grabbed him from the seat and took him over too his husband.
When we get to immigration in taiwan a lady/girl runs up and grabs our baby and takes him off to show the other ladies at the other counters.
When we go out for dinner with the relatives the owner of the shop comes off and takes our kid to show him around to the other staff.
The next day at lunch at a different place I was prepared and managed to resist several times for the owner of this place to take the baby. eventually she was so insistent I had to let her, and she took him out the back of the restaurant!
So I have two questions, is this normal for halfies? and given that these people owners are “family friends” I cant be rude, what is a polite way to tell people no you cant take our baby and run off who knows where?
My ‘halfy’ daughter is 7 months now and she does get quite a lot of attention from Taiwanese people. She’s gone from ‘little cutie’ to ‘very cutie’ to ‘soft tofu’ ( ). The woman in the store where I get my lottery tickets was almost in tears the other day when I came in with the baby. I’m not joking - she was pretty much welling up.
I don’t have a problem with it. I know other foreign parents who seem to get very pissed-off with the attention their kids get. It just doesn’t bother me. However, under NO circumstances would a stranger physically take my child. Especially out of my view. I hope that I don’t sound overly paranoid, but it just isn’t going to happen. Other posters may have a polite way of dealing with the situations you have mentioned, but politeness wouldn’t bother me.
This has happened to some friends that came to visit me in Taiwan a few years ago. Both parents are white and their two children have blond hair and blue eyes. Whenever we would enter any public places such as restaurants, the Taiwanese would invariably try to touch, pick up, or carry off my friends’ children. It took us all by surprise the first time it happened, but afterward I was on guard for it and the first move toward the children was met with a very stern stare and a rebuke in Chinese to not touch the children under any circumstances! It’s strange that I had to do this EVERY SINGLE TIME we went to a new restaurant or store. Even in the night markets, the Taiwanese tried this. I just don’t get it. I wonder how they would deal with it if I went into their restaurant, saw their children doing their homework at one of the tables and ran over and picked one of their kids up and gushed over how cute and strange and wonderful their children were!?!?!? :loco:
Used to happen to mine ALL the TIME! And it used to give fits of worry and anger. There are all kind of thing that can be spread from unwashed hands. People used to jostle him, clap in his face until he cried, or blow directly into his face. They just HAD to get some kind of reaction from them, but he was more prone to staring at them like the wierdos they were. A couple got upset when I told them they couldn’t hold him–and physically blocking their access to him. But that’s my kid, so that’s the way it is.
I was a blond-haired, blue-eyed kid growing up in Saudi Arabia. I was constantly an object of fascination for the Saudis, always having my hair ruffled and having everyone around talking about me. Didn’t do me any harm, apart from the enormous ego I now have to shoulder.
I dont mind people looking, staring, commenting. Its more the physical contact thing that concerns me most. Especially due to the fact that at 3 months he has not completed all of his rounds of vaccinations.
Even the relatives are prone to poking prodding, rubbing, blowing until he gets all worked up and quite hard to settle. Stresses me out quite a bit. But yes what worries me most is their propensity to even want to take him out of our sight, ie in the back of the restaurant.
I guess I am just going to have to get more tough and just say no. My chinese is not that good yet, would 不会／buhui be terribly rude, or ok, or perhaps I can say something like he is too shy?
If they are carrying your baby away, just tell them ‘Please do not take the kid, he is shy, afraid of strangers’. All the pinching and touching him won’t harm him at all.
[quote]these people owners are “family friends”[/quote]In this case, I wouldn’t worry about it. It would be rude to refuse or make a scene, and it’s not necessary, in my opinion. Your baby is safe with them. We experienced very much the same when the boy was tiny. It will pass. Soon the little fellow will run up to them by himself. He’ll get lots of hugs and positive attention and it’s OK.
Strangers are whole other story, though. You can look and you can stare, if you want, but you can’t touch him. Some people will still think you’re rude, but who cares about random strangers if they can’t understand basic privacy.
As much as the intentions of our protagonists are kind and harmless, I would NEVER let a perfect stranger touch my child. If someone actually pinched or blew in his/her face, they’d be picking up teeth with broken fingers. Some things are not shareware.
You are the parents. Lay down the rules. People still try to touch/pick up my boy. He’s almost 2 years old, so I’ve relaxed quite a bit. But the first year, I made sure that everyone who wanted to pick him up had to wash their hands first. No exceptions. I just told them that I’m a germ freak. It’s pretty damn amazing/scary how bad some people’s personal hygiene is. I would never, then and now let him go anywhere out of my sight, especially with strangers. :loco:
Kids are. There is a lot of love, in every piece of apple offered to the kid, every pinc every hair rustling is just a primate’s way of saying you’re adorable. As much as I don’t want them caried away or infected with whatever, I am glad in their initial years, they got a lot of love, adorers and adulation. I mean c’mon isn’t that what rock stars want??? The Beijingers and TW were my community when I was raising my children. One of the few times I would REALLY panick is when the waitress would take my kids in the kitchen to show them off to the inside staff, as dumb as it is, I was afraid my kid would scald or fall in a wok or sth.
Reminds me of the story my grandma used to tell me about taking her kids to Italy for a vacation. My mum, the baby of the family and a baby at the time, was blonde-haired and blue-eyed - the rest were a mixture of really dark (Grandma’s part Indian) and ginger o.O; ). Apparently every time my grandparents went somewhere, one of the women in the store would yell out ‘BELLA BAMBINA!!!’, rush forward, grab my mum and carry her off to the back of the store to pass her around and show her off to all the family. Leaving my grandma freaking out with four other children to look after (no idea what my grandfather was doing, he was never mentioned).
My son is now 21 months old. When he was just over a year, I was walking towards the breakfast shop to pick up something to eat. An old lady came running up and before I could say anything (and I often do) she stuck her hand in his face with “hao ke ai”. Again before I could tell her to piss off, she jumped back and said “he bit me” with (really just a little drop) blood running down her finger. I tried very hard not to burst out laughing and said “next time keep your hands away from mouth”
Idiot
). The woman in the store where I get my lottery tickets was almost in tears the other day when I came in with the baby. I’m not joking - she was pretty much welling up.
The Beijingers and TW were my community when I was raising my children. One of the few times I would REALLY panick is when the waitress would take my kids in the kitchen to show them off to the inside staff, as dumb as it is, I was afraid my kid would scald or fall in a wok or sth.