Perceptions

Mick posted the following in the “indulge” thread.

[quote=“mick”] You know, a few years back, I was sitting in a coffee shop, and a quite attractive young girl (maybe only 19) was holding my hand. A middle aged foreign woman came up out of the blue and started telling and the rest of the coffee shop how disgusting it was for a someone as old as myself (late 30’s) to be hitting on girls young enough to be my daughter.

In fact I had met this girl 3 weeks prior on a flight to Korea, she was sitting next to me and we got talking. Seems she was hooking up with an old boyfriend who she used to meet with in Taiwan as he was a tourist guide and hadn’t seen much for year. Kind of going to surprise him and it turns out the only place she would have to stay is his place, and she had no money except for the return ticket in a week!!!

So, I left her my number in case of an emergency, which surprise surprise, it happened after a few days. We met up, she was very teary and I made sure she had money so she could eat and travel, pay the airport tax, have somewhere to stay. And a couple of weeks later, on getting back to Taiwan she called me to return the money and also the father offered me a gift of some very nice tea.

You cant always judge a book by its cover. I couldn’t even explain to the woman why what she was doing was so wrong, as it was none of her business, I’m sure today she still tells the story of how she put the foreigner in his place.
[/quote]

It got me thinking about perceptions and mistakes that can often be made. It also reminded me of a situation I saw in Vietnam a few years ago.

A 50-something white male and a 20-something Asian female were walking hand-in-hand around the lake in Hanoi. A 50-something white woman came up to them and started abusing the guy, telling him how disgusting it was that he was with an Asian female 30 years younger etc. She went on for about 10 minutes, without letting the others get a word in.

When she finally paused for breath, the guy was able to explain that the young woman he was with was in fact his daughter.

Anyone else got any stories about bad perceptions, and jumping to conclusions?

Christ I’d sacrifice my right nut to have some idiot go me like that.

I routinely get odd looks from backpackers when I’m walking along hand in hand with my Thai step-daughter in Thailand, but no one has ever said anything. I actually wish they would, as this would at least confirm that they were willing to intervene rather than pass it off as one of those unpleasant sights they should expect in that part of the world.

HG

[quote=“cfimages”]

Anyone else got any stories about bad perceptions, and jumping to conclusions?[/quote]

When I first meet Sandman, I thought he was man-whore. I jumped to the conclusion that a few beers would be good enough payment. :laughing:

Then you learned you were over paying?

Underpaying is more like it. That man has expensive tastes. :astonished:

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Christ I’d sacrifice my right nut to have some idiot go me like that.

I routinely get odd looks from backpackers when I’m walking along hand in hand with my Thai step-daughter in Thailand, but no one has ever said anything. I actually wish they would, as this would at least confirm that they were willing to intervene rather than pass it off as one of those unpleasant sights they should expect in that part of the world.

HG[/quote]

It’s none of their business. Granted, I’ve been guilty of passing judgment here and there, but if there are no laws being broken, I keep my mouth shut and thoughts to myself.

As for another perception error: I went white-water rafting down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon a few years ago (took about 12 days). In my party, there was this fellow who looked so disheveled and unkempt … well, I probably wouldn’t have given him the time of day in any other circumstance. Turns out, he is a Mathematics professor in Oxford; his wife is a surgeon.

He and I had some of the best conversations throughout the trip (my B.S. was also in Mathematics) discussing how theories are being applied in the business world, his family, his life as a professor, my work in the financial sector, etc.

Turns out, you really shouldn’t be quick to judge a book by its cover.

edit: Edited the last sentence so the ‘slow’ people can understand. jk :stuck_out_tongue: I <3 U

Reminds me of a time when my ex-wife stated that all the girls I have dated since our divorce are whores since that is what all Taiwanese girls who date foreigners are… I quickly reminded her that she must be one of those Taiwanese whores then since she had been with me for quite some time… To this day she has not brought that up again.

[quote=“cfimages”]
A 50-something white male and a 20-something Asian female were walking hand-in-hand around the lake in Hanoi. A 50-something white woman came up to them and started abusing the guy, telling him how disgusting it was that he was with an Asian female 30 years younger etc. She went on for about 10 minutes, without letting the others get a word in.

When she finally paused for breath, the guy was able to explain that the young woman he was with was in fact his daughter.[/quote]

Is this a cultural thing? I mean, I love my Dad to bits and we are very close, but I can’t imagine holding his hand when I’m walking with him… :laughing: That would just feel really odd. But maybe the Vietnamese culture is more comfortable with father / daughter handholding? Interesting.

Sorry to veer away from the topic at hand.

Shouldn’t that be can’t be too slow?

EDIT – I mean “shouldn’t be too quick” :laughing:

[quote=“Indiana”][quote=“cfimages”]
A 50-something white male and a 20-something Asian female were walking hand-in-hand around the lake in Hanoi. A 50-something white woman came up to them and started abusing the guy, telling him how disgusting it was that he was with an Asian female 30 years younger etc. She went on for about 10 minutes, without letting the others get a word in.

When she finally paused for breath, the guy was able to explain that the young woman he was with was in fact his daughter.[/quote]

Is this a cultural thing? I mean, I love my Dad to bits and we are very close, but I can’t imagine holding his hand when I’m walking with him… :laughing: That would just feel really odd. But maybe the Vietnamese culture is more comfortable with father / daughter handholding? Interesting.

Sorry to veer away from the topic at hand.[/quote]

I ended up bumping into the guy a couple of days later and he mentioned that his wife (the girls mother) had recently passed away. Perhaps that had something to do with it, but I really don’t know.

First of all, he doesn’t need a reason to be close to his little girl. But, if he really needed one, the fact that his wife passed away and that little girl is all he’s got left is more than adequate. ‘Holding-Hands’ police should be appeased; case closed; next.