Define it. Tell me about your ideal woman/man.
Perfection in a relationship is pretty much impossible, and even if one attained that they’d probably be pretty bored. If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work.
I heard a very crude definition once, but I am a lady and will not repeat it.
This may be sententiously gnomic, but the ideal is yourself. Anything else is just icing on the cake.
Yes, but if you had the wierd science colander and a bra on your head, what sort of woman would you create? Physical description is okay, but I’m also interested in other traits, like personality, hobbies, intelligence, sense of humor etc. . . . .
Oh, and it’s better if you would not tell me, “she’d have a good sense of humor,” but tell me what a good sense of humor means to you, for example.
What would her values be? And so on . . . . . . .
MY ideal girl?
Obviously she has to be physically appealing to me. Someone that turns me on physically for a start. Second she has to have a pleasant personality and be intelligent. Thirdly she has to get along with me (and this may be the hardest criteria).
Thats it in a nutshell.
We can expand on the various points of course.
Perfection does not exist. Or if it does it’s one heck of shape-shifting changling.
Flexible expectations, the ability (and it is an ability) to trust and be trusted, and unselfishness are as close to an ideal that I can envision.
[quote=“TheGingerMan”]Perfection does not exist. Or if it does it’s one heck of shape-shifting changling.
Flexible expectations, the ability (and it is an ability) to trust and be trusted, and unselfishness are as close to an ideal that I can envision.[/quote]
I like this answer. I think that Buttercup’s post is going to end up being the most astute, but that’s terrible; I’m too much of an individual! My girlhood best friend told me that if I were a guy she’d marry me. She DID, too. Found a guy who is very much like me. I respect him a lot and we’re friends, but we’re so much alike that we’d never get along if we lived together.
My Spanish friend is who I’d be if I were a guy. He finishes my thoughts when we talk–beats me to my own punchlines, but not in a “known quantity” sort of way–he’s just really able to keep up–multiple conversations at once, all racing along. No one else has ever been like that. But he’s the flip side of the coin. I’m the head side. We can’t ever get the rythm right to make it stay.
I almost entitled this thread, “How do you lower your standards?” Though I’m too busy at the moment, that will change in a couple of months, and I’m getting more and more ready for a new relationship, but I’m so very particular. I am not attracted to a single person I’ve seen locally in three years back here. I just do not feel like I’ve met anyone I’m compatable with.
Physically, I’m not the beauty I once was, I know, but the chemestry just isn’t there at all with the local boys. And it’s not because I have any one type, my two hottest guys were one short Chinese, and the Spaniard, tall and hero-looking. Very different physically, both smokin’ in my book.
And all this is besides dealing with my son’s astute observations of things. But that’s for another thread.
I’m looking for one single guy, very intelligent, terriffic sense of humor/irony, someone who likes to have a good discussion and doesn’t have to be “right,” who RESPECTS me and my own intelligence, someone open to new things/travel/life overseas, and being somewhat of a musician wouldn’t hurt. That’s all, really, at least to start. :s
Is that too much? Am I too picky? Is it middle age female hormones? Is it some other undesirable aspect about myself? I don’t always wear make-up any more and rarely have time to do up my hair or nails. Maybe I don’t look I’m into dating? Maybe a guy like I describe is around, but I’m invisible to him. I guess that’s possible, but he must be invisible to me, too. Sigh. This is all so difficult. Dating at nearer 40 than 30, with a young man to wrangle. Maybe I should just give it miss. :aiyo:
Can’t be done.
As Larry David says, “The definition of a compromise is that nobody’s happy”
Physical attributes, OK.
But character?
Forget it.
The things that were attractive in the first place will end up driving you nuts.
“Oh, my new girlfriend is sooo sweet and gentle, she’s completely agreeable” becomes, in time “Jesus H McCarty, she’s such a flake, she’s driving me crazy! All I want is for her to commit to ONE GD THING, but no, she just wavers constantly!!”
And “Wow, my new girlfriend is so high-spirited! I LOVE women with character and personality!” turns into “My wife is a nagging nitpicking harridan and I’m going outside to blow my brains out because I can’t stand another minute of her non-stop harping on me.”
Women are no different.
Watch as, in the space of as little as a couple years, Mr. Steady and Dependable morphs into The Bore That Ate Cincinnati.
Oh, what’s that, you’re attracted to that dude because he’s the Bad Boy Rebel? I’ll see you in 18 months, when you’ve had it up to here with his unwillingness to commit fully to your domestic needs.
Buttercup will recall me and her and Erhu and the lovely 914 sitting late at night drinking outside Alleycat’s and me getting harangued by the Minnesota Squarehead because I insisted that “Human relations are bullshit”.
It’s still true.
You want the punchline? The Big Quote? Here goes:
The only person with whom it’s even possible for one to have a completely unconditional loving relationship, where complete love is exchanged with no requirement for compromise or accommodation, is someone who has the same blood as you running through their veins. And then, only if you’re lucky.
housecat, baby, you want to see Perfect Love? Go check that little fella who is hopefully finishing off a plate of Sloppy Joes as we speak.
Otherwise, forget about it.
[quote=“the chief”]housecat, baby, you want to see Perfect Love? Go check that little fella who is hopefully finishing off a plate of Sloppy Joes as we speak.
Otherwise, forget about it.[/quote]
These are wize words, and you know I GOT that! He’s the main reason I haven’t dated yet, cause he’s my number one man and the only one I can never step out on. I want to never break his heart.
I know that no one is ever perfect all the time, but my Chinese love used to call and ask me, “How was your day?” and he really wanted to know. I’m telling you, that was half the reason I feel in love with him. He really understood who I was. Most people are so bussy, or so wrapped up in themselves, they couldn’t get to know someone else if they had to, and they never even seem to miss the missed connections.
I just feel like I’m living on the moon, in so many, many ways.
[quote=“housecat”][quote=“the chief”]housecat, baby, you want to see Perfect Love? Go check that little fella who is hopefully finishing off a plate of Sloppy Joes as we speak.
Otherwise, forget about it.[/quote]
These are wize words, and you know I GOT that! He’s the main reason I haven’t dated yet, cause he’s my number one man and the only one I can never step out on. I want to never break his heart.
I know that no one is ever perfect all the time, but my Chinese love used to call and ask me, “How was your day?” and he really wanted to know. I’m telling you, that was half the reason I feel in love with him. He really understood who I was. Most people are so bussy, or so wrapped up in themselves, they couldn’t get to know someone else if they had to, and they never even seem to miss the missed connections.
I just feel like I’m living on the moon, in so many, many ways.[/quote]
Trust me, you ain’t missing Jack Shit, it pretty much sucks on this side of the fence, too.
[quote=“Buttercup”]I heard a very crude definition once, but I am a lady and will not repeat it.
This may be sententiously gnomic, but the ideal is yourself. Anything else is just icing on the cake.[/quote]
christ a girl what can write “sententiously gnomic” with a straight face will just about do it for me…
edit
[quote=“N1848N”][quote=“the bear”][quote=“Buttercup”]I heard a very crude definition once, but I am a lady and will not repeat it.
This may be sententiously gnomic, but the ideal is yourself. Anything else is just icing on the cake.[/quote]
christ a girl what can write “sententiously gnomic” with a straight face will just about do it for me…[/quote]
Beat me to it.
Ma’am Buttercup, I would be honored if I could have the pleasure of the next dance.[/quote]
See what I’m talking about? I make a thread about how to find a relationship and Buttercup gets a date. Just my luck.
[quote=“housecat”]
See what I’m talking about? I make a thread about how to find a relationship and Buttercup gets a date. Just my luck.[/quote]
Yeah, no kidding.
Is this one of those bringing a knife to a gun fight type deals???
Oh, and boys, FYR, you got a tough row to hoe here, I have to warn you that Ms. Cup’s
affections are no mean acquisition.
As long as The Kilmer still walks the earth, that is.
[quote=“the chief”][quote=“housecat”]
See what I’m talking about? I make a thread about how to find a relationship and Buttercup gets a date. Just my luck.[/quote]
Yeah, no kidding.
Is this one of those bringing a knife to a gun fight type deals???
Oh, and boys, FYR, you got a tough row to hoe here, I have to warn you that Ms. Cup’s
affections are no mean acquisition.
As long as The Kilmer still walks the earth, that is.
[/quote]
Chiefy, as often as you’re posting that kilmer pic, he must be saved on your computer. Seems like you might have a crush on him yourself, if you ask me. Anyway, Buttercup’s currently taken, if I’m not mistaken.
and
circa American Werewolf in London
would do it for me. Posh women with those English country rose accents 
[quote] Beat me to it.
Ma’am Buttercup, I would be honored if I could have the pleasure of the next dance.[/quote]
date? date be damned…we’re talking life-long co-habitation here…
[quote=“Funk500”]
and
circa American Werewolf in London
would do it for me. Posh women with those English country rose accents [/quote] Fair enough, Funk, but we already have a thread where we posted pics of our “three.” You’ve explained asthetics, now what about substance? What do you want to come home two twenty years from now? Can it be any vappid youngling with a nice accent, or do you require a little more than that?
[quote] Beat me to it.
Ma’am Buttercup, I would be honored if I could have the pleasure of the next dance.[/quote]
date? date be damned…we’re talking life-long co-habitation here…[/quote]
Oh! Well, then, even better. I make a thread about finding a relationship and Buttercup gets a marriage proposal!
Well the two ladies in question are very intelligent, so I know I could have deep conversations, (although not necessarily understanding them). Good head on their shoulders, smart, talented, hot beyond belief and with the accent?
Blimey Charlie!