There was a skit on TV news this evening from Hong Kong regarding what kind of animals you could keep in an apartment. Apparently HK apartment dwellers are now restricted to keeping fish or budgies only.
When is Taiwan going to follow the lead and adopt this enlightened policy? Before I find it necessary to murder the dog abusers in my area?
Remember Cow Theory?
You have 2 cows. The State takes one and gives it to someone else.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you the milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, kills one and spills the milk in the sewage system.
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows’ milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option to purchase one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.
You have 2 cows. The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed animals in an apartment.
The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for them. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep’s brain and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.
You are still queuing for the first cow.
You cannot inspect the 2 cows.
The cows are now controlled from grazing and you are jailed for being unfit to rear cows.
You have 2 cows. You give the milk for gangsters so they don’t ask awkward questions about whom you are giving the milk to.
Come on now, Taiwan needs to be on this list. I used to have neighbors who kept a chicken on their balcony, so this isn’t too far fetched. They have a tv ad with a cow in the house, so it must be happening somewhere, right?