In all fairness I’ll try and paint an unbiased picture.
My gf and I live together. She has never really had a proper job, and I did find her a position working with me at my office.
I look after the finances in the whole.
For a year or so, she had been teaching part time, and I had paid for everything up until she started working with me where she offered to contribute. Its been about 6 months of this.
These last three months we barely broke even with both our salaries, and she suggested that she look after the finances, which I promptly agree to, after admittedly, taking in a little offense. I’m not good at saving money, and this I know.
So she proposes that after I pay my bond I give her both of our salaries and she will manage the money. We close this off a month ago.
Over lunch today, I remind her that shes going to take over soon, so she mustn’t forget to check the mailbox for bills, and go to 7-11 and remember to bring the paid bill back home where I have everything filed. This is such a minuscule piece. There are still other more complicated matters like taxes etc.
She then says that well, no, I’m still going to do all the running around, and she will just decide how much we can spend. Now I make more than double her salary, which she never had prior to me finding her this job.
Me : so you mean to say that you will look after finances but I still have to go and pay the bills?
Her : yes
Me : no darling, I thought we agreed on this, when you look after finances you look after ALL aspects of the finances, that’s get the bills, pay, file, manage, budget, all of it
Her : But you’ve been doing it the whole time, I have my own way of doing it, and it will just be quite messy
Me : Well I need you to do it my way
Her : Thats fine, I will give you the money and the bills to pay, and I will restrict our spending to save more money
Me : Listen, if you look after finances you look after everything
This goes on for a while. I don’t back down, because IMO I have been doing and paying for everything, and yeah I haven’t saved much, but I am on the ball. I also told her that need her to learn to be responsible and this is one of the things she will need to learn to be more independent. My bottom line. You want the finances, you’ve got it. But take all or leave all.
She doesn’t back down because she knows she can save money, but is not willing to do minor details because she knows shes absent minded, and does not see any problem with me doing this as it’s such a small task. Her bottom line. She wants to make the calls. I’m much more efficient with everything else.
I completely lost it. I… somebody please help me think this through.