I don’t think they should sell peanuts without explicit warnings about how to open them and not choke on their shells. Maybe we should ban peanuts, now that I think of it. Yeah, peanuts are dangerous. Ban 'em.
Damnit! You’re one step ahead of me! :fume:
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Set Up. Set ladder up on solid, level ground. Do not set ladder up in mid-air, underwater or on unstable surfaces such as steeples, moving amusement park rides or the moon. To assure ladder is set at proper angle, perform this easy check: level your vision with the plane of the ladder. If you see the ground approaching, stick your arms out quickly and try again.
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Safety Recommendations. Our legal department held an important meeting at a popular downtown bistro which resulted in a cell phone call to Marketing, instructing, in that snide way Legal has, that we include the following recommendations for safe ladder use to preserve the important legal defense of Weus Toldicto Uso. Always follow these basic safety precautions: Step 1: Spray two tons of foam insulation around base of ladder. Step 2: Encase yourself securely in plastic bubble wrap (DO NOT POP BUBBLES. THIS IS SERIOUS.). Step 3: Wear a helmet approved by the National Football League, but not the one Troy Aikman uses. Step 4: Hire an independent contractor to climb up the ladder and get the hell out of the way.
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Climbing the Ladder. Begin by grabbing the sides of the ladder firmly with both hands. Place one foot securely on the first step. Pull yourself up. Stop! Do not over-exert yourself. Take your pulse. Proceed only if your heartrate is below 120 beats per minute. Never have a heart attack on a ladder. Repeat procedure until desired height is reached, but never stand on the top step. Don’t ask us why we put it there if you can’t stand on it, just take our word for it and don’t do it. If you’re ever tempted to disobey this instruction, simply call our toll-free number and we’ll send one our lawyers out to slap you around.
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Common Ladder Mistakes.
(1) Avoid contact with electrical current. Never attempt to plug in a ladder.
(2) Avoid contact with lawyers. Statistics show most ladder accidents involve lawyers.
(3) There is no such thing as “Safe Sex” on a ladder.
(4) This sticker gets slippery when wet. That’s why we put it on the side. If you’re standing on this sticker you’ve got the ladder pointed the wrong way.
(5) Never use ladder during hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, civil unrest, Running of the Bulls, Grand Prix auto races or other activity likely to upset ladder. If ladder becomes upset, give it a chance to calm down before climbing all over it.
(6) Ladders are not toys. Keep all ladders out of the reach of children. Kids, if you’re reading this, No, No, No!
(7) Be careful when moving ladder around work site. You could poke somebody’s eye out with this thing!
(8) Never drink and climb. Always have a designated climber on hand.
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Ladders Don’t Kill People, People Do. At least that’s what we thought until we had a big corporate meeting over this whole warning-label fiasco. Marge Lipscomb from Marketing lost it and whacked Hal Weenicker from Legal in the pelvis with a Handy-Home-Stepmate Model 404. Weenicker fell over on Joe Bugler who toppled onto Laura Keenbeam. Weenicker died in an ambulance accident on the way to the hospital. His estate is suing us for failing to warn of this obvious ladder risk. Keenbeam is also suing Bugler for sexual harassment. So, please, if you get irritated with someone, just use a handgun like everyone else.
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Partial Warnings Only. See Owner’s Manual, Volumes 1-29, for complete instructions and warnings in 37 languages and gang signs. Coming to stores soon: Totally safe virtual ladder climbing.
(adapted from an article “Rungful Suits” in the June 1997 issue of the
American Bar Association Journal).
It’s not just the playground that’s dangerous, you also have to watch out for drawstrings or the children may get hung:
I eating at kfc where its safe
But Dix it’s true! A kid died recently here, didn’t you see it on the news?
https://sanjose.bizjournals.com/sanjose/stories/2003/07/07/daily26.html
https://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2003/07/12/state0318EDT0005.DTL
[color=red]BEWARE PARENTS: while the deadly candies are illegal in the US, they are widely sold in Taiwan.[/color]
Seriously, I’d keep these away from your small children.
If you know anything about hazardous foods for kids, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to feed these to kids whose throats are obviously to small to be able to handle a whole one of these…of course, knowing the Heimlich maneuver would have also helped cut down on these deaths.
How about forming a lawsuit against parents whose children choked on something that could have easily have been dislodged had the parent received basic first-aid training? I’d sue them for making me lose faith in human intelligence.
Losing a child is the worst punishment there is. And think of the other kids in the family - they lose their sister or brother and then their mom and dad are taken away as well?
Accidents happen, some of them are caused by stupidity. People are stupid, there’s not much you can do about it. And I think most parents have been at least once in a situation where they can’t believe how careless they have been. My kid learned to climb the stairs while I was cooking. He was just 5 meters away and I kept my eye on him, but I guess I was busy peeling a carrot or something, because I didn’t notice it. He didn’t even know how to walk yet, but he climbed 5 stairs and then fell down - it all took less than 1 minute. It’s unbelievable that a person lets her 10-month-old kid alone on the staircase, isn’t it? It’s just that when you’re with the kid 24/7 you think you know what to expect from the kid - but they learn new things faster than you can imagine - they learn to climb and fall down from different pieces of furniture, they learn to poke their heads into the toilet pot, they learn to find tiny things from the floor (like grandma’s heart pills or dog food or nuts), etc etc. It’s amazing that most kids actually survive childhood.
And another food-warning:
According to the emergency doctors, the most dangerous “food” for little kids is dry dog and cat food. Many kids like to eat that stuff and often parents don’t even notice the odd piece of dog food left on the floor. The doc said it’s impossible to get pet food out with Heimlich maneuver - the piece expands quickly in kid’s throat, closes it entirely and just gets completely stuck before you even reach the kid.
Back to playground equipment - Swings !
Do they exist in Taiwan, or are they shunned for safety reasons? I’ve been to 3 or 4 parks here in town, and we have climbing frames, see-saws, but no swings. Actually there is 1 that I know of, but the seats are 12 inches off the floor, and attached to almost the base of the climbing frame on a ridiculously short rope length.
Something like this. Or even swings with a safety bar would do the trick.
They have decent swings in Da-An park… it is a great place for kids, though gets crazy busy on weekends.
There is a real cool park in HsinChuang. It has everything there that you need. The play equipment for the most looks pretty safe. There are at least 6 different play equipment areas scattered around the park.
But being safe in Taiwan, it seems almost anything goes here until someone gets hurt or killed and then someone cries and speaks out…
It is more dangerous to walk across the intersection near my apartment to get to the park than it is to play in the park. A kid cannot even feel safe on a pedestrian crossing, which is a sacred place back home and talk about safe school drop off zones… two of the scariest and worrisome jobs I have, taking my boy to the park and back, and dropping my boy off at school in the mornings…
I definately don’t let my boy walk to the park or school by himself… cars and scooters, or rather their drivers just don’t care…
Necroposting
Some very cool playgrounds in great Taipei.
Went to the Central Art Park near Huashan (MRT Shandao Station) in Taipei yesterday. Been there two times. The equipment there is not too bad, they have the zip line thing that not many parks have.
The largest slide is of metal and rather fast. If you plan to go there be sure to stay at the bottom and tell your child to leave the end of the slide quickly cause if a larger child follows, there’s a chance it will hit your child down there. Not sure if the child at the top can even see the end of the long tunnel-type slide.
That and the fact that our boy was chased by a mid-sized dog in the same park, leading to me losing my temper and shouting at the dog owners, made me look for a topic like this.
I have been to quite a few parks in Taipei with kid’s play areas over the last two years. Overall, I am impressed by the options you have here and the variety of equipment.
Some playgrounds are poorly designed, though. If you have a younger child and you want to be sure you can see it all the time while giving it freedom to move about, you find it sometimes really hard to follow it or get to it in case something happens.
That above slide for example. There is no direct way to get from the entry area near the top of the slide down to where it ends, you have to walk a long way down, passing a lot of people and “stuff” on the way to get there unless you want to go on the slide yourself. I have been in that situation quite often. “Where the hell is he now? Can’t see him. Dang, no quick way to get where he might be.”
In our neighborhood park, they have installed new equipment last year. Two climbing towers with slides that are very popular with the kids. But again, as an adult you cannot get in there quickly (if at all, if you are a bit older, overweight, etc.) in case of an emergency.
One tunnel-type slide is pitch black inside and you cannot see what’s inside from the outside.
Btw. I love those slides made of terrazzo, probably more hurtful when bumping your head on the ground, but the sliding experience always feels nicer to me.