This was the dent in the kid’s head thread
little R never learns. today i went into my co-teacher’s class to get my “well done” stamp and when i came in the room, R was making his evil faces at me and throwing punches and kicks at me like “yeah i’d love to do this to you”. since i have pretty good peripheral, i caught him again and told him to give it a try if he feels big enough. needless to say, he was shitting in his private school shorts.
i’ve had it with his disrespect.
I’ve heard that making them copy a couple of pages out of the dictionary. THe words,definition,the whole shabang works 
as far as the vibe i’m getting goes, R is a hands off case. he can do no wrong.
Well then introduce the STAMP system. Give each student a sheet where they can collect stamps by answering questions, bring their books, etc. Make sure you leave him out long enough to feel the burn. But enough for him to want to reform. 
We have been conditioned by centuries of heavy-handed discipline. The new society has unleased our libertine youth. There is not a lot you can legally do. You could sit him down and become the one teacher that changes his outlook on life (nearly impossible) or just have him switch to a different class.
Another good technique is public shaming. Single him out with constant praise and mistakingly punish others for his mistakes. R’s classmates will teach him a lesson.
The school may not want to do anything to the kid, but you can probably scare him into submission. Without physically laying a finger on the kid I bet you can get mean and nasty enough that the kid will shut up. You give the kid zero-tolerance for every infraction, step into his personal space and physically look down on the kid, and make sure he feels small and stupid standing next to you whenever he tries to challenge you.
If your CT or the administration give you trouble about how you’re handling things, tell them they had best handle it for you because you will not tolerate such a disruptive influence.
But, remember, the kid is probably in need of some positive attention and someone he can respect to set limits for him. After you feel the kid has gotten the message that he’s not in a special bubble and you are not someone to be trifled with, talk to the kid 1 on 1 and tell him ____ (fill in the blank with warm fuzzy stuff that will make the kid feel secure in your class as long as he respects the rules).
Ever see “Cool Hand Luke” with Paul Newman? If the kids are bad, 2 days in the box.
If your school doesn’t have a “box” set up, then you can always make them do horse stance (sitting without a chair/squatting) for 5 min with their arms outstretched with textbooks on them.
If two kids are fighting (physically or verbally) just have them hug each other for 10 min at the front of the class.
A friend of mine worked at the Taizhong reform school, they actually got to use tasers, as it was part of their “therapy”.
They’re right, ran, when you start acting at the kid’s level you’ve lost control. Not that I don’t understand your frustration with the little shit, but as the adult you should try hard to maintain control and not resort to violence or little kid games. And bear in mind that it may not be completely the fault of the child that he’s rowdy, spoiled, disobedient or however you would describe it. The child is the result of his genetics and, probably more imporantly, his upbringing.
Consider this: my wife has two sisters and each of the three has a young daughter. Our child has received lots of love and attention from the start and, while she’s difficult at times, is for the most part very sweet, pleasant and cooperative. On the other hand, one of the sisters basically abandoned her daughter. The girl is 2 years old and has lived with the grandparents in Chiayi for that entire time, because the child’s mother and father in Tainan feel they are too busy to raise their own child. They drop by for a day or two every couple of weeks, but the grandparents, who are very busy with their own lives are forced to supervise, entertain, educate and raise the child.
Because the grandparents are too busy to care for the child properly, the child has spent a substantial portion of her first two years incarcerated in a crib or otherwise whiling away her time in solitary confinement while grandpa is working and grandma’s doing laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. I don’t blame the grandparents for failing to properly raise the child – they’re very busy with their own lives and the damn parents should get off their lazy asses, take their child back and give her the love and attention she desperately needs.
As a result of the parents’ abandonment, this child cries often during the night and day, throws up her food often, has temper tantrums, snatches things away from other children and gets violent (more than other kids I’ve seen, certainly far more than our child). I’m forced to deal with that child every month or so when I make the mandatory pilgrimage for a weekend at the inlaws, and her behavior really pisses me off sometimes. I’ve yanked my daughter out of her presence at times because I don’t want her learning bad behavior from her. But I know it would be wrong for me to get angry with the girl and retaliate against her, becasue she’s a sad, lonely, screwed up child through no fault of her own, but only due to her crappy parents.
I suspect something similar may be involved in your case. Perhaps the parents have basically abandoned the child or have been lousy parents in some other respect. That doesn’t mean the child should now have free reign to terrorize others. But it means one should try to deal with him with understanding and compassion and try to guide him to better behavior with positive means rather than negative ones.
As I said, I understand your frustration. Kids can be a pain in the ass. But as adults we owe it to them to try to set a good example for them.
Good luck.
thanks MT. i wanna help R if i can. i’m mostly angry at the way the CTs and my boss have covered for him. maybe i should whip them. i know i’d like it. my boss has a fine ASS!
I think it is important to be consistant with children and not to over react. I’m glad you can rant here. It is important not to stoop to his level.
First and most important: classroom management. If you hadn’t needed to leave the room to get the stamp, you wouldn’t have given R an opportunity to do something behind your back (the same problem that gave my 1st graders the opportunity to give me the bird). Have what you need ready at the beginning of class so you don’t have to leave the room to get it. Then you can keep both eyes on the little bugger for the entire duration of class.
Second: try writing a letter if R’s English is strong enough. Something simple like:
[quote]Dear R,
You are in this class to learn English, and I am here to teach you English, but it is very hard for either of us to do our jobs with the way you have been acting in class. I would like for you to think of how this problem can be fixed and write me a plan on how you will do so by (insert desired date). If you don’t think you can or if you forget to by (desired date), I will be forced to ask your parents to come in and help us work on this problem. I’m confident that you will be able to do this without me needing to ask for their help. I look forward to reading your plan soon.
Your teacher,
Rantheman[/quote]
Simplify as you see fit.
Ran, I don’t buy it.
You feel your dignity is in jeopardy not because of what this child has done, or what Taiwanese “society” has done to you, but because you have not lived up to your own expectations of yourself. You had an image of yourself as a teacher that included the miracle ability to make all children behave and learn. That image has been threatened by one child’s refusal to conform and now you are reacting defensively to preserve it.
You need to let it go.
Have compassion for yourself. You can’t be the perfect teacher for every child. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we don’t achieve our goals. Sometimes, as teachers, we are forced to try to help a child when we know we aren’t qualified, or aren’t the best person (personality-wise) to teach that child. Nevertheless, we still have to try. And you know why? Because even though we may not be the best teacher for that child, WE ARE THE BEST TEACHER S/HE HAS.
Have pride in being the best you–as you are right now. Don’t compare yourself to other people, or to the expectations you have of your future self. In the end, you only have control over the present moment and yourself. Everything else is affected by the interconnectedness of us all.
Lastly, I want to add that, in my own experience, oftentimes the children that give the most trouble and make me wonder why I even bother trying, have often come back to me a few years later to apologize and thank me for what I did. Sometimes it doesn’t even take that long. I quit on a six year-old for a week over her bad behavior. I thought her parents hated me because I couldn’t control her and she seemed bored the entire time. But, after I quit, her mother gushed over how she’d never seen anyone interact better with her daughter and begged me to come back. The child is not much better behaved now, but she’s always on her toes to make sure she doesn’t push me too far. And when it’s time for me to go, she hugs me tries to block the door to keep me from leaving.
Ran, I’d hate to think that you ruined a possible opportunity for this kid to see a teacher as tough, but still loving. This could be one of those situations that the two of you end up laughing over in a few years 
I can’t believe the stuff I am reading in this thread.
Not one teacher that I work with would ever respect a teacher that carried on in such a manner. You lose in many ways.
Ran, go home, fire up the Microcube and run the changes for Giant Steps in double time for a couple of hours. Then think about what’s important. A screwed-up child that isn’t even yours?
I didn’t think so.
Ran,
You aren’t crazy or a necessarily a bad teacher. You appear to have wuss disease. Nobody can disrespect you. Nobody can affect you. Women can’t do bad things to you or control you. Your family didn’t write the script of your life. You have to grow up and become a man. That means accepting responsibility for your life and the way it is. Everything is your fault and responsibility. Shitty deal but thems the breaks. Also, in any conflict if you react in anger you are punked and lose the conflict by definition.
Also, your behavior on this board makes you seem like a drama queen/attention whore/“can we talk about me?” kind of person. That aint no man. Man up, my man.
Kids test you to see what you are made of, just like women (and men). Its all natural establishment of status and position. When you get angry, you show yourself to be of a lower level.
For anyone who is serious about trying to deal with a kid like the one Ran’s been ranting about, some good advice was given in the thread “New Prospective Teacher”. I also benefitted from reading some articles by Fred Jones (aka “The King of Classroom Management”) on www.educationworld.com.
Fank Q.
By doing nothing about it they would be approving of it. That may be the case. However, the school would have the right to not ignore your actions as a member of the teaching staff. There is a huge difference between the actions of a student and that of a teacher.
You don’t have to bow down to being disrespected. Perhaps being “foreign” has something to do with this kids actions. However, this sort of thing doesn’t happen to all of us. I’d rather be disrespected in English by a kid than in Chinese.
There are many ways to “NOT BACK DOWN”. You have chosen one of the less desirable methods.
I really doubt that you’ll get any adults on these boards supporting your actions (perhaps some of the children will support you). If you’d come here and presented your case and asked for advice, I am sure that many posters would have been pleased to offer some very good advice. However, as it stands now, those posters that could help are probably hitting their heads against the wall over just reading this thread. (actually they’re probably not hitting their heads against the wall. That would be immature)
If you’d posted…
Or something like that. I am sure that there would be pages of great advice. Instead we have pages of posts that are swinging against you. That is not cool. It could have easily been avoided. When you were slammed in the past, I stuck up for you (and got smacked hard for it). I won’t be doing that in this thread because there isn’t anything for me to support.
Ran, I don’t buy it.
You feel your dignity is in jeopardy not because of what this child has done, or what Taiwanese “society” has done to you, but because you have not lived up to your own expectations of yourself. You had an image of yourself as a teacher that included the miracle ability to make all children behave and learn. That image has been threatened by one child’s refusal to conform and now you are reacting defensively to preserve it.
You need to let it go.
Have compassion for yourself. You can’t be the perfect teacher for every child. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we don’t achieve our goals. Sometimes, as teachers, we are forced to try to help a child when we know we aren’t qualified, or aren’t the best person (personality-wise) to teach that child. Nevertheless, we still have to try. And you know why? Because even though we may not be the best teacher for that child, WE ARE THE BEST TEACHER S/HE HAS.
Have pride in being the best you–as you are right now. Don’t compare yourself to other people, or to the expectations you have of your future self. In the end, you only have control over the present moment and yourself. Everything else is affected by the interconnectedness of us all.
Lastly, I want to add that, in my own experience, oftentimes the children that give the most trouble and make me wonder why I even bother trying, have often come back to me a few years later to apologize and thank me for what I did. Sometimes it doesn’t even take that long. I quit on a six year-old for a week over her bad behavior. I thought her parents hated me because I couldn’t control her and she seemed bored the entire time. But, after I quit, her mother gushed over how she’d never seen anyone interact better with her daughter and begged me to come back. The child is not much better behaved now, but she’s always on her toes to make sure she doesn’t push me too far. And when it’s time for me to go, she hugs me tries to block the door to keep me from leaving.
Ran, I’d hate to think that you ruined a possible opportunity for this kid to see a teacher as tough, but still loving. This could be one of those situations that the two of you end up laughing over in a few years [/quote]
That was just excellent. That is IMHO, some solid philosophy.
Ran, a single question. You said the mom, the school, and Taiwanese society, in general, has disrespected you, so why are you singling out the child?
I feel weird even asking you the question. I think you should listen to the positive criticism on this posting, and take it as a learning challenge.
oh well, my mama always told me to never give advice unless asked. I won’t make this mistake again. I guess I took your original post as a request for advice. Maybe you just want people to either agree with your behaviour or pat your head and tell you its all right.
Maybe you wanted to learn how to punk out a kid. Pretty simple. The kid steps on you (makes a gesture or hits you or disrespects you). You simply physically put them against the wall (don’t hurt them for god’s sake, that’s means they got to you) or stand right in their personal space and look at them. The trick is you can’t be angry. If you are angry. you a punk! Congratulations, the kid wins.
When I used to teach, I had a simple class management technique. Do something I don’t like and you stand up. Later, you can sit down if you shut your mouth. If you mess up while standing, go get on the wall. Mess up again and you are out for the day. I just say get out and don’t tell them what to do, that works even better. The trick is that you issue the orders in a normal tone of voice and refusal to do as commanded ends in immediate ejection. This is sort of a beginner classroom technique. Any advanced teacher should be able to manage any classroom simply by having rules that everyone knows with known consequences and punishment means non-participation in class. Of course if you are using stickers or stamps or other reward systems, you may be doomed to petty troubles.
BTW, I think I understand FO, but what does SMYD (suck my yankee dick?). Just curious