[quote=“cloud13”]Her parents booked tickets for both of you to Europe for Xmas/NY. Say, +70K?
You didn’t pay them back until after CNY in Feb… instead of paying before the trip. Yet you make +200K.
You didn’t take care of your future family’s business… you took care of your own.
You insist you had no time, and “Taiwanese banking is so lame”. [/quote]
Given that I’d never asked her to book the tickets with her parents, it was something she did unilaterally, it wasn’t my decision. Also, had she not gone ahead and done this with no reference to me, tickets would have been booked, paid for by credit card and this would never have been an issue.
[quote=“cloud13”]So you never spent CNY with her family in previous years, and now they’re out +70K for CNY.
Maybe they needed the money for hongbaos; or just more consideration from a future son-in-law. [/quote]
See above, I never agreed to this happening, it just happened whilst I was away in Japan. And as I’d not been able to do anything about it (going to Europe immediately on return from Japan), they said it was fine to have this done in January. Apart from the fact that whilst I was in the UK, it became necessary for me to go back to Japan straight away on arrival back in Taiwan and therefore I couldn’t do it then. If they’d wanted paying immediately, then they should have signed up to take American Express (they only accept Visa and MasterCard), which they won’t because the merchant discount rate is about 2% higher - understandable in the travel industry where margins are low. I told the ex to tell them I’d get a payment made when I was back from Japan, which they were again fine with, but I delayed my return to Taiwan because she told me that it wouldn’t be a great idea to be having an argument etc. etc. So I didn’t come back out of consideration for her and consideration for them, but when I did a week later, the payment was made as soon as was possible (i.e. second working day back in Taiwan, the bank didn’t send it until the Thursday for reasons I have explained already).
[quote=“cloud13”]Yet still, she gives you a 2nd chance, “letting you come back to the house… we were together”. But you insist:
“She was still talking about it and making a fuss out of nothing.” Clearly not “nothing”. Notice your pattern?[/quote]
Yes it was nothing. We’d met the weekend prior to going back and then I’d gone back a day or so before going to the bank and making this payment. But still she continued to make a massive fuss out of it, even though it was a situation she created by acting unilaterally with no reference to me in December. If she’d actually bothered asking, I would have told her not to as there was no way we could have made a bank transfer until we were back in Taiwan, but without asking me, she went ahead on her own.
[quote=“cloud13”]And on Thursday, the day to make the payment, you insist on… going out to see your friends, “for a breather”.
No offense, but you’re an idiot if you don’t get now why she “flew off the side of the fence”.
She even said: “You shouldn’t go and see your friends this week out of all weeks.” Spend time with her to mend fences.
But you insisted: “I’d already resolved the problem.” 
:roflmao:
So you let your fiancee go home with the dog in a taxi in the rain (idiotic)… and she later emails you to break up:
“You’re irresponsible, incapable of thinking of her and just not thinking at all.” Right on all 3 counts.[/quote]
She didn’t have to go home in a taxi, she could have driven home herself. It’s not like she would have gotten wet or anything in the car, she just stubbornly and idiotically refused to for whatever reason.
And yes, we had resolved the problem. We’d talked things through, I’d made a payment to her parents for something she had done knowing (in all likelihood) that there would have been a delay paying them in the first place and otherwise, everything was pretty much OK. She was OK about things and only flipped when I told her I was going out for a breather. There is nothing irresponsible there nor is there anything to show I’m not thinking of her, I wanted some peace and quiet to think things over and some time to talk to some other people to get any other input that I’d missed. As in rather than going back with her and letting things simmer in my head and building up day by day until things blow up needlessly into another argument.
[quote=“cloud13”]But you insist: “She’d turned from the most amazing, sweetest person I’d ever known in my life, loved completely and couldn’t wait to finally marry to the most evil, two-faced psycho woman on the planet.”
Seeing her in such hyperbolic extremes, maybe you’re the one who’s psycho. You didn’t act like you “loved her completely & couldn’t wait to marry”. You’ve shown 0% responsibility for this outcome… and 0% remorse. Are you a psycho? You’ve stated many times you want revenge, to make her suffer, and teach her a lesson… understandable if she feels the same about you. [/quote]
That’s the whole point though, she changed overnight which to be brutally honest is shocking. You don’t usually go from being one person to another person in the space of a few hours, especially after we’d spent time going through everything and had pretty much covered all bases to move forward happily. Her suddenly flipping that night when I was meeting my friends was not the result of something I did, she decided to do what she did and was probably pushed by her parents now that they’d got their ticket money into their company (which I hasten to add again should never have been booked in the first place). Therefore I do not see why I should show or have any responsibility for the outcome, given that the only person blowing up and flipping her personality was her. And I certainly don’t feel any remorse or ‘pain’ about splitting up now, all of this happened 18 months ago. Why should I feel remorse or pain now, when it was quite some time ago?
And yes they are hyperbolic extremes. Even now, I can quite readily say that the time up until when she flipped she was a perfectly sweet, lovely person. She really was, all my friends and family thought so and still think so. But to see what she did, to hear about what she did, their opinion of her and my opinion of her completely shifted. That’s not psychotic, it’s just adapting your view of someone in light of what they did.
I think you’ve completely missed the point though here. I NEVER wanted anything like revenge, suffering or similar for her. I never wanted to teach her a lesson, but after going through 18 months without getting anything back, despite repeated (pleasant) requests to do so, then one of the few reasons I can justify causing her hassle by going down a legal route is that at least she may learn from her sins and never do it again to anyone else.
[quote=“cloud13”]One definition of insanity = doing the same thing over & over, and expecting different results.
For 40 pages, you insist she’s a psycho… and she insists on not answering your calls & messages for 1 year. Hmm.
And who knows what you said in those… or why you “drink with [JP hostess girls] quite a lot… for years”.
Anyone who is framing themselves as a saint and the other person a devil… is likely leaving out inconvenient details.
And if someone kept asking for their stuff back, and I sensed they thought I was a psycho? No way. Are you crazy? [/quote]
Expecting what different results? All I’ve ever wanted was to move on, which I have. But at the same time, I want to get what belongs to me back. I don’t think there is anything unreasonable with wanting that. Nor do I think that they are two different results - moving on in a relationship sense (I have) and getting my own stuff back (I haven’t - yet).
I’m not leaving out ‘inconvenient details’, I’ve been very forthright and written about everything that has happened here. And there is nothing psychotic about nicely asking for your stuff back. Even if she is a thief - seems obvious to me.
And if you actually read again, the JP Hostess clubs were never out of choice, it was something that had to be done for client entertainment, as is quite common in Japan. Also, there is nothing sexual or otherwise that goes on in these places, you just pay through the nose to drink and talk to some attractive girls whose only job is to sit there and fleece you for as much money as is possible. Not something I’m a big fan of, as I wrote.
[quote=“cloud13”]But if they took some responsibility & actually felt remorse & apologized to her & her parents?
Via letter or other means now, since you long since slammed shut your many windows of opportunity.
And without trying to get their stuff back… you seem to care more about the stuff than the end of a relationship with the woman you “loved completely” & couldn’t wait to marry". [/quote]
Hang on…
Why should I EVER want to apologise to her parents? Apologizing for something she did??? Trying to apologise for something I did not do or instigate, despite the very obvious fact that they’re behind making her switch from who she was into a petty thief and evil witch? There was never a window of opportunity here, as there was never any need to apologise. You apologise for something bad you’ve done, which here is not something I’ve done. To be brutally honest, if anyone owes anyone an apology, it’s them who should apologise for me, for using their daughter as a remote controlled toy, used her to wreck my life as much as possible (emails to my previous company for example) and then set her up to steal my stuff.
And I think you’ve completely got the wrong end of the stick here about what I care about. During the whole 3 years with her, the only thing I really cared about was her. Even when we broke up, the only person I cared about was her. After the break up, for the first couple of months, all I cared about was her. That’s why I was not super-forceful about getting my stuff back, did not make a massive scene out of it and decided to slowly bide my time. Right up until now I’ve avoided getting lawyers involved because I never wanted to cause her any pain or hardship, even though I’d moved on to another relationship, I couldn’t do something like that to someone who was so amazing and so good for 3 years. In the end though, I have done simply because, despite my patience, there really is no other way. Doing what I’m doing is the only way now to get my stuff back and to (hopefully) ensure that she doesn’t do this to anyone else.
This doesn’t mean I never cared about her, nor does it mean that I don’t still care about her. After what she’s done though, there is only so much patience a person can have and 18 months without getting my stuff back is about as far as I can take it.
Sincerity about what? Damned sure I’m sincere about getting my stuff back, and I will do. That’s why I’m suing her after avoiding doing anything as forceful for 18 months.
[quote=“cloud13”]Some people want to know what’s right… some always think & keep insisting they’re right.
Anyone who does the latter, especially for 40 pages, is usually wrong about many issues. Maybe has issues.
If you were right about everything, you would’ve made all the right decisions in your life (which you didn’t during the CNY break up)… and you wouldn’t still be wondering how to get your stuff back after a year. Now you have an out of control, mountainous, fussy, unresolved problem that you’ve publicly blown to 40 pages in 1 week. [/quote]
It’s quite easy to say that when you were not the person in the relationship and you are not the person who had to go through all the crap she did with my previous company and THEN steal my stuff. I’m not insisting I’m right about any decisions I made then and now, what cannot be changed though is the stuff that she did. Which as many people have pointed out is wrong.
And I’m not wondering how to get my stuff back. I have a lawyer on the case and if there is no response from the ex by Monday, we will ratchet things up another few notches. That’s her choice, not mine. And the reason I put it on here? So that people could see and be warned that these things happen all too often (it would seem) in Taiwan.
Unfortunately sometimes it is necessary to lay all the facts out to show the argument. And the only reason this particular post is long is because there are multiple points to respond to in your post, which drags the length on a wee bit. And agreeing with a statement someone else made? I think you have taken it completely out of context, it was in reference to expat groups in each country taking on characteristics of the culture or society where they live. You see it in Japan, you see it in Thailand, you see it here as well as everywhere else. Unfortunately that means that you take up the bad things as well as the good, hence using the term ‘psycho xiaojie’ to describe it. It’s supposed to be tounge in cheek as how can male posters be ‘xiaojie’?
[quote=“cloud13”]Wish you both good luck. But more to her, honestly. You probably think I’m a psycho, anyway.
So forgive me if I don’t respond to your incoming text wall rebuttal. No time, so I’ll ignore it… just like your ex has done.[/quote]
No, I don’t think you are a psycho and never said so. And if you want to take the side of a back-stabbing mad chick who also happens to be a petty theft and is from a provincial island backwater, then that’s your prerogative, not mine. But you cannot change the facts of the matter. I’ve not hidden anything, everything has been laid out, so there should be no reason for doubt.
Unfortunately you can show an apple to enough people and some of them will still jump up and down insisting that it’s a banana. That is the case here and if you choose to believe things are omitted or left out, that’s your choice, you’re entitled to your opinion. As wrong as it may be.
And apologies that this is a bit of a ‘text wall’ but your post was long as well and I needed to respond to each point individually. And no, she’s never had a text wall. Usually something short and to the point like ‘where is my stuff? please allow me or someone I nominate to come and collect it’.
[/quote]
