That boy’s been getting coaching from the chief you know. He can melt concrete. Do they smell a bit like potatoes?
Make sure the glove fits before you convict!
According to ImaniOU, someone could be practicing…
MT, you guys didn’t happen to set up some kind of office exchange where veggiechick is on loaner to my outfit, did you?
Because about 5 minutes ago…DAmn…
I can remember eating at a Korean restaurant in Vancouver with a bunch of friends including two Japanese friends (one of them is a best friend of mine who lived in Canada for 10 years and now works for his old man in Tokyo). He and a few of his Japanese friends arrived dressed in purple suits. The Korean staff thought they were Japanese mafioso or Yakuza. They immediately started to treat the Korean staff very rudely. My Japanese friend basically said that if the food was not " spicy" enough to make him cry, he wouldn’t be paying for it.
Needless to say, the food was super spicy. In fact, I could only manage to eat a few spoonfuls, and I love spicy food very much. However, I told my Japanese friends that since they acted like “macho pricks” and treated the Korean staff terribly, they would have to eat all of it.
They finished it all. As we started driving home, another Japanese dude that was part of our group shit his pants while farting in the front seat (to the disgust of everyone in the backseat). It was so disgusting that everyone else in the car demanded that he stop at the nearest store and buy some new pants and/or underwear and an air freshener. When we started arguing about this (he wanted to wait until we arrived at our friend’s apartment in the West End and borrow some clothes (20 minutes away), we accidentally went through a red light. Suddenly, there was a cop car behind us with the lights flashing.
I will never forget the face the cop made when he asked my friend to roll down the window. Two Jap dudes in purple suits, the smell of feces, and a bunch of Whiteys and Japanese laughing their asses off in the back seat.
[quote=“Chewycorns”]I can remember eating at a Korean restaurant with a bunch of friends including two Japanese friends (one of them is a best friend of mine who lived in Canada for 10 years and now works for his old man in Tokyo). He and a few of his Japanese friends arrived dressed in purple suits. The Korean staff thought they were Japanese mafioso or Yakuza. They immediately started to treat the Korean staff very rudely. My Japanese friend basically said that if the food was not " spicy" enough to make him cry, he wouldn’t be paying for it.
Needless to say, the food was super spicy. In fact, I could only manage to eat a few spoonfuls, and I love spicy food very much. However, I told my Japanese friends that since they acted like “macho pricks” and treated the Korean staff terribly, they would have to eat it all of it.
They finished it all. As we started driving home, another Japanese dude that was part of our group shit his pants while farting in the front seat (to the disgust of everyone in the backseat). It was so disgusting that everyone else in the car demanded that he stop at the nearest store and buy some new pants and/or underwear and an air freshener. When we started arguing about this (he wanted to wait until we arrived at our friends apartment in the West End and borrow some clothes (20 minutes away), we accidentally went through a red light. Suddenly, there was a cop car behind us with the lights flashing.
I will never forget the face the cop made when he asked my friend to roll down the window. Two Jap dudes in purple suits, the smell of feces, and a bunch of Whiteys and Japanese laughing their ass off in the back seat.[/quote]
:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
That’s like the part in Jackass the Movie where they’re on the way to the Hardware Store gag and the guy can’t hold it anymore and lets go in the van…the camera guy pukes…GOD I love that movie…
And here we all were wondering what to show on that 20 ft screen in Carnegies after the football’s done.
Seriously, get a small fan and turn it on whenever this happens. Point it, not directly at, but in the general direction of, fat boy first and if that doesn’t work at vege girl. Don’t say a word about it. That’s the Chinese way. The fan is a western twist that will likely be much appreciated by whomever isn’t acting like a fucking pig.
You guys were right: it’s veggie girl, not the big, over-eating dude. We just encountered another incident so I quickly stood up and noticed big dude’s not around, but veggie chick is. Strange, I thought a veggie diet was supposed to be clean and healthy. That does not smell healthy at all. 
I think in the end I may just buy an air freshener and stick it on my desk.
Oh no, I definitely think you should say something. How about: -
“Big fat guy keeps mentioning the smell in here, have you noticed it? It smells like some one has shit in their pants or something, do you think we should all crap in a cup and see what’s wrong?”
I think this would fit nicely in a cultural context and of course it doesn’t explicitly implicate her, and makes Fat Man out to be the bad guy.
Oh god, it’s not miss (formerly) white pants is it?
That’s it! Someone;s left their turdy cup in a drawer, everytime they open the drawer, it emits in effect, a fart!
HG
[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]Oh god, it’s not miss (formerly) white pants is it?
HG[/quote]
That is what I asked too!!
forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi … &&start=10
White pants but green underwear?
[quote=“Edgar Allen”]Oh no, I definitely think you should say something. How about: -
"Big fat guy keeps mentioning the smell in here, have you noticed it? It smells like some one has shit in their pants or something. . . .[/quote]
No way!!! I can’t believe you would even suggest that. :fume:
Mother T,
Remember that you are dealing with flamable gases; yes, the answer is controlled burning. I think you may have heard of the term “office firewall” and it seems it could be time to have one installed.
Chewy, your vocabulary is sadly lacking. For future reference, your loose-sphinctered Japanese friend sharted.
His name’s not Victor is it? Is he a translator? Did he work at Clifford Chance in Shanghai in 1998? If so, I sympathise. I got moved into my own office in the end. I went to the managing partner and he said “I know”. So Farty Pants and me were the only two in the firm with our own offices.
It’s a good ploy to get your own office, though. Or fired. Or pushed down the stairwell.
[quote=“Lord Lucan”]His name’s not Victor is it? Is he a translator? Did he work at Clifford Chance in Shanghai in 1998? If so, I sympathise. I got moved into my own office in the end. I went to the managing partner and he said “I know”. So Farty Pants and me were the only two in the firm with our own offices.
It’s a good ploy to get your own office, though. Or fired. Or pushed down the stairwell.[/quote]
I believe I’ve learned the culprit is a she (yea, I know, that’s weird – I didn’t know girls could be so foul either). She’s also the most junior person in our department. Hardly a real employee. Just prints out labels and sticks them on folders all day. And, as the only whitey in the department, I’m a rare commodity. So if I were to complain about the stench of her rotten bowels I doubt they’d give me an office. More likely just fire her, it’s easier. Much as I dislike whiffing her stools, I’d feel badly if I was responsible for her losing her job.
[quote=“Mother Theresa”][quote=“Lord Lucan”]His name’s not Victor is it? Is he a translator? Did he work at Clifford Chance in Shanghai in 1998? If so, I sympathise. I got moved into my own office in the end. I went to the managing partner and he said “I know”. So Farty Pants and me were the only two in the firm with our own offices.
It’s a good ploy to get your own office, though. Or fired. Or pushed down the stairwell.[/quote]
I believe I’ve learned the culprit is a she (yea, I know, that’s weird – I didn’t know girls could be so foul either). She’s also the most junior person in our department. Hardly a real employee. Just prints out labels and sticks them on folders all day. And, as the only whitey in the department, I’m a rare commodity. So if I were to complain about the stench of her rotten bowels I doubt they’d give me an office. More likely just fire her, it’s easier. Much as I dislike whiffing her stools, I’d feel badly if I was responsible for her losing her job.[/quote]
admit it,now that you knows it’s comming from the cutie,it’s kinda turn-on 
Oh, sure, if she were a cutie I’d suck the fumes in deep like a bong hit, holding them in my lungs till I felt my chest would explode, finding no offense in her foul emissions but imagining them to be the scent of roses covered with morning dew, a gentle breeze wafting through an alpine meadow, the fragrance of a butterfly fluttering among the daffodils, then ever so gently let the aroma rise from my lungs to drift gently from my lips, drawing it back up my nose and sighing as I pictured the smooth, white buttocks, like alabaster, from whence the fumes had emanated; but nay, she’s no cutie. In fact she’s plain and dumpy, with a face like mianbao, legs like shuijiao and the dull, glazed eyes of a toad sitting in the mud. I’d sooner drive a toothpick up my urethra then ingest her toxic fumes. Each moment I sit there bathed in the stench, I feel my sinatic nerves contracting, alveolie shutting down, brain cells suffocating and I lament that I am chained to my cubicle, with only a thin carpeted wall separating me from her fetid ass.
So you do enjoy it then?
enjoy?
more like gagging by the sound of it
i bet his sundays are dull now and he can’t wait to get back to the office