Rage

Discussion Open Forum
1

I’m not crazy (ummmmm). I’m not violent towards anyone weaker than I am physically. But I feel positively retarded sometimes when I want to fight.

I might be emotional (see: Crazy…sometimes) but I seriously need an outlet where people don’t see me as a straight up nutter. I’m even worried about studying martial arts here in Asia with this passive, fuck you, it’s about ‘face’ attitude. Yes, martial arts stands for all that and what not but MMA isn’t about butterflies and honey, right? I ain’t no grasshoppah, son. That said, if I win people will think I’m Cpt. Insane-O. But if I lose people will think I’m a retard.

Forgive me if I’m thinkin’ too much because we all know the standards here can be a bit skewed.

I don’t mind getting my ass handed to me. The only thing I’m actually worried about is how people will perceive my anger. It isn’t about anyone in particular, it’s just that for so many years I had to fight people who wanted me beaten or worse - dead. I can’t handle sitting here doin’ nothin’ and having to Pai Sai or hide my interior. I’m not a bad guy.I don’t wish pain on someone else. In fact, I want to push myself (Pain) to the point where it wakes me up. It’s been two years since I had a real fight. Granted, that fight that was awarded to me was a cultural awakening (Of sorts) and was more than I had bargained for, but on the real I need something to keep me free of these feelings.

added The weights aren’t cuttin’ it. People watch me train and although I don’t look like Mr. Olympia anymore (Never did but goddamn well close to it), people love to watch me lift big weights here in Taiwan. And I’m not even lifting anywhere near what I used to lift back home in Toronto. Back home people only used to watch my bench presses and dead lifts. Here eyes are on me when it comes to just about everything. Fine, I need to use it somehow. I just know I can’t do it here and that sucks. Being a bouncer and working for the MTHA (Patrol Guard) back home and when I needed to I could pick up a grown man over my head while he’s tryin to beat me and I’m not caving his head in. That’s how I used it and that was something to behold. Guns, knives and shit aside.; it was kinda fun because I knew who was who and to what degree I was suppose to push it. Here is another story. blah blah blah blah…almost time for bed.

As fucked up as this might sound -I need a ‘go’. I need to really throw’em. I’ve never fought in a ring so I can’t relate to some of you who have studied martial arts. I’m missing the competition albeit not what some of you are used to. It’s driving me insane and it shows.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to knock out anyone over an argument but there is such a fuckin fire inside of me that I seriously pity the asshole who tries me.

If you respond to this post then do me a favor: please don’t fuck with me. I’m actually being serious and although some of you might see this as M0NSTER try to flex his shit…I’m not. I’m asking honestly.

2

Hi Bro,

I can relate partly - but not completely - to what you are saying. I often need to remind myself not to use my hands.

Do you have a girlfriend? I know I have much less aggression when I am releasing my seed.

Allow yourself the luxury of slapping a few of the local f@ckers (foreigners and Taiwanese) around - just don’t use your fists; bitch slap them, pick them up, bear hug or whatever.

Glove up and get in the ring - boxing soon saps your aggression. Getting smacked hard in the head is not nice at all.

Drink more.

Can’t think of anything else except for waiting until you’re old and mellow. (I assume you aren’t using steroids - as you know, they can lead to increased aggression).

Good luck Monster,
John

3

[quote=“almas john”]Hi Bro,

I can relate partly - but not completely - to what you are saying. I need to constantly remind myself not to use my fists.

Do you have a girlfriend? I know I have much less aggression when I am releasing my seed.

Allow yourself the luxury of slapping a few of the local f@ckers (Foreigners and Taiwanese) around - just don’t use your fists; bitch slap them, pick them up, bear hug or whatever.

Glove up and get in the ring - boxing soon saps your aggression. Getting smacked hard in the head is not nice at all.

Drink more.

Can’t think of anything else except for waiting until you’re old and mellow. (I assume you aren’t using steroids - as you know, they can lead to increased aggression).

Good luck Monster,
John[/quote]

John,

I drink too much in Taiwan. It started shortly after my arrival. Hell, half of my now vices (I started smokin tobacco when I got here) are now my own Nemesis. I drink heavily now and feel as if it’s a road to no where. But we aren’t talkin about AA now are we? Naw, I know that has to change but fightin isn’t going to change and that’s what I need help with. Nothin seems to stop me from thinking these thoughts.

I’m not sayin that I’m Superman because I’ve been beaten and taken my lumps. Two week before I came to Taiwan, I had an extendable baton bent over the top of my fuckin head and we chased that group clear across HWY. 7 (major highway) in Richmond Hill, Ontario.

I’m getting older, my man. Just had my 29th. I seriously feel like these feelings are futile. But until then - until I feel like I don’t have the strength to go - I can’t seem to let these feelings go. When I’m an old dog…I’ll give advice. Until then, I want some advice from the old timers who have been through it so I can follow a path and become mellow. I know there’s a day where I have to settle down. But I don’t feel it yet. I feel like I’m wasting time and my physical strength.

edit
I haven’t done steroids for about 3 years now. The truth is that from the age of 17 - ? I was a heavy user of steroids. Reaching 2500mg of sauce per WEEK. The cost equivalent to 2000 + CAD every 3 months.

edit 4:30am so I’m quite juiced. I feel like that drooling ghoul in the movie 300 before he/it got stabbed in the neck. Ah…alcohol and creativity. Pwahaha.

4

I agree with Almas. There are a couple of clubs that are into more western style (full contact aggressive?) martial arts etc. The only “local” mixed martial arts club I’m aware of would be in Kaohsuing (being in South Taiwan). There is a boxing club (mostly foreigners, I think) in Tainan, and perhaps that would be a good bet for you.
You could also join us for some rugby on a Sunday afternoon. It’s good for a run around and getting rid of pent-up aggression.

Let me know if you need more info on the rugby or boxing. I think you have my number.

5

Were you like this before Taiwan?
My first year here I was angry about 80% of the time. It was culture shock. I’m glad it passed.

6

In my opinion, anger is just one way of your mind letting you know you aren’t happy about something. (Some people get depressed instead for example). So I’ve trained myself now to try and quickly work out (whether I’m angry or depressed) what I’m not happy about. Usually its something pretty short term, but I know there are things about Taiwan I’ll never be happy with. Perhaps you need to work out whats bugging you?

IMO exercise is only a temporary release because you’re then just too tired to care for a while. In fact all those weights probably maintain a higher level of testosterone which also increases aggressiveness.

Perhaps its time for stint off the island. Even if its for a couple of weeks just to relax and work out what your next move is going to be. Otherwise, getting a gf will probably make you much more content and willing to look past the islands weaknesses.

Lastly, I know your stance on it, but smokin a joint is a pretty good way to relax.

My 2NT

7

We know you are having neighbor troubles and the complete lack of consideration gets to most of us from time to time, but didn’t you just get a dog?

Lifting does not do it for me anymore either but every sat and sun morn a nice 1 hour ride over the side of a mountain with my Banshee Scream and the dogs keeps me centered and calm for a few days.

Otherwise get off the Island for a few days, an unforeseen vacation works wonders.

Keep your shit together, don’t let the fuckos win.

8

monster said: I can’t handle sitting here doin’ nothin’ and having to Pai Sai or hide my interior.

i think that to get the possibility of good advice from us amateurs (albeit caring amateurs), i at least would need more info. in what kinds of situations do you feel you have to hide your interior and say sorry? are you being taunted by gangster types who might kill you if you reacted? is someone pushing your buttons who is much weaker than you and who you might seriously hurt if you responded to their provocations? what is pushing your buttons? i think that you need to get your head right, your philosophy of life, your attitude, refocus the lens you use to view the world. you already are in good physical shape, so changing the body through sports/weight-lifting doesn’t seem to be the answer. i don’t think dulling the lens through alcohol/drugs is the answer either. i have always found the most happiness and contentment focusing on the good in others. that way, any stranger who you catch acting in a kind way can focus you on the good. but that just might be me. focusing on the good/doing good is life-affirming/relaxing to me. also, i’ve never felt like punching people out, but if i knew i could do it, i might have been like that. i have to deal more with depression. but as someone mentioned, anger and sadness might be two sides of the same coin. if you find a way- share it with us, it could help others.

9

Rule number 1. Never hit somebody outside of a venue made for just such a purpose - that’s not a pub, BTW. In part because if you do smack people around, regardless of the motivation, you look like a dickhead. The other is how easy it is to really, seriously hurt someone. Do you really feel up to serving serious prison time for twatting someone for being an arsehole? Does it add up?

Plan A: Get yourself into MMA, or whatever, and channel some you of your aggression.

In my experience, the most lethal people I know are also the most restrained and generally give the impression they would never hurt a fly. In other words, they have their aggression firmly under control.

HG

10

Yeah, they’re called women.

11

Go surf the net …go to fighting sites…schoolkids beating each other up during recess.

I get the rage part…I have no way to release it…only heavy music seems to do the trick. Hit a lot of stuff when I was a teen, and I still have a short temper…but usually I take it out on myself, could never hit someone else.

12

Must be difficult to come out on top in a fight if you’re angry. I’ve never managed it.

13

SandMan wrote: [quote]Must be difficult to come out on top in a fight if you’re angry. [/quote]
Christ, how can you be in a fight and not be angry? Certainly better than being frozen with fear.
So, what emotional state do you suggest?
A detached zen-like calm
A lazy can’t- be-arsed indifference
Righteous indignation
Kitten-like playfullness

14

Almas John wrote:

Classic.

kinda reminds me of a gross French slang (nothing to do with your gf): Sac a sperme. You get the picture. means an “easy lay”. alternative: sac a bites (bag for dicks). fucking sick frogs.

15

Christ, how can you be in a fight and not be angry? Certainly better than being frozen with fear.
So, what emotional state do you suggest?
A detached zen-like calm
A lazy can’t- be-arsed indifference
Righteous indignation
Kitten-like playfullness[/quote]
That’s what I always used to try to achieve on the odd occasion when I got involved in a swedge. Not detached, exactly. Concentrated and in control. Not always easy but definitely more effective, I always found.

16

Oh, how boring to have the same emotional state. Try something new the next time you are in a scuffle. May I suggest:
Wrath of God (most effective if done with wild eyes and a few Old Testament biblical proverbs thrown in)
The Mad Scottish Drunken Bastard (this includes wild mood swings between savagery and mateyness, you’re a bastard, you’re me pal etc.)

17

Right, and anyone who has studied any kind of martial art will tell you the same. Of course, if you can appear to be in an out of control rage, all the while being fully in control, you would definitely have a psychological edge.

Anyway, if you really want to lose the “rage” thing, have a baby. You’ll spend all your free time going “Gootchie-gootchie-goo” and the anger thing will just melt away… :rainbow: :uhhuh:

18

… can led to all manner of nasty amphibian diseases. plus, there’s always the difficulty of finding one large enough.

seriously now, you don’t think that there are NO derogatory terms bandied around in YOUR hometown, in YOUR mother tongue? chill out with the UberNationalism a bit.

geez, even the term Mother Tongue has some kind of delightful perversity attached to it…

19

I WISH I could find a link to a site someone showed me years ago – probably the football world cup before the last one. It was a spoof of a soccer training video, except for English football hooligans.
Had segments on the various kinds of football hooligan mayhem and how to conduct it.
Best part was the infamous “windmill.”

20

[quote=“sandman”]I WISH I could find a link to a site someone showed me years ago – probably the football world cup before the last one. It was a spoof of a soccer training video, except for English football hooligans.
Had segments on the various kinds of football hooligan mayhem and how to conduct it.
Best part was the infamous “windmill.”[/quote]

Here’s a spoof of a Kung Fu training video involving an English football hooligan and some windmilling: :laughing: kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=339