Reading a woman's feelings (from a guys perspective)

Life Dating & Relationships
#1

Good evening all…
My last post was a while ago, and my last visit to Taiwan was October 2005

The question today, I am back in Canada now, and i have met a girl here for language exchange that is from the mainland ,( I had originally planned to move to taiwan for a few years this year to study mandarin.)

We have been getting along well, but of course, we have become very good friends now.
I am from a very traditional household as she has, but the embarassing part is i have only dated on other girl in my entire life (i am 25) and that did not end very well… consider me inexperienced.

the question i have is, in reading these forums, it seems that typically chinese/taiwanese girls tend to be very skittish from what i have read on these forums and have observed, even though we may get along well, I am worried if i make the request to get to know her better, she may run.
She is a university student but has only been here for 1 year.

Anyway, im not sure if the approach with these women is different than in the west. I dont want to mess up a good opportunity as she is really nice.

thanks for the opinions all.

PS I should add that she invited me to her place in China this summer (her father owns a few properties) and apparently her parents know about me…

#2

RUN FOREST, RUN!!

#3

Meeting the parents, are you?

It could be a good sign if you want it to be. From my experience, one won’t meet the parents unless she really likes you.

But then, times are changing…

#4

Open your heart to her. Tell her honestly what you think and feel, including whatever you may be nervous about.

#5

RUN FOREST, RUN!![/quote]

You mean this in a positive way or a negative one? :smiley:

#6

[quote=“Anubis”]Meeting the parents, are you?

It could be a good sign if you want it to be. From my experience, one won’t meet the parents unless she really likes you.

But then, times are changing…[/quote]

Especially since she said that her parents are quite open minded, both of them being doctors.

We hang out a lot, but the thing is, it is hard to read what a girls motivation is at first.

anway, thanks for the quick reply :slight_smile:

#7

I think i will try this, and hope she does not run away screaming :smiley: :smiley:

#8

If I run away screaming from a guy, here’s what it means: I was always aware of his feelings and tried to ignore them in hopes we could remain friends but he didn’t pick up on my deliberately ignoring or avoiding those subjects - and he kept pushing it. At least you know if she runs away like that she was never interested, then.

#9

RUN FOREST, RUN!![/quote]

You mean this in a positive way or a negative one? :smiley:[/quote]

I mean this in the way that you aren’t “dating” and she’s not only told her folks about you, but has invited you back to her home in China.

Do they have rabbits and stewin pots on their properties?

But hey! Life is short. Go and have fun. :slight_smile:

#10

Yes, but if it is her first year abroad, it’s entirely possible she has mentioned the LE to her folks without any interest in the OP romantically. She has a foreign friend. That’s progress on her English and on her being comfortable in a foreign land. Also, it is not uncommon for Chinese to invite you to their homes in China, knowing that it is unlikely you would ever actually take them up on the offer.

Not saying it is necessarily so in this case, but many invitations from Chinese are courtesy invitations only. Heck, many invitations from Westerners are too.

#11

Hi ironlady…

as far as the offer of vacation goes, i had to change plans as i could not go with her when we had originally planned.
She was very disappointed and asked what other times i could go.
i said i could go in May, she was all happy again and called her parents to make an alternate arrangement…

Anyway, i guess the question i would have is, how to go about inquiring if she is interested in me… and to show my interest in her… that is my issue :smiley:
If she is not interested, it is okay, but i want to figure out ahead of time so I dont waste a long time thinking the wrong thing.

Obviously, it is hard for me to just be a good friend if i like her :s

Thanks for everyones replies so far

#12

Invite her over for a movie, drink some beer, and jump her bones. If she spits beer out in your face mid-jump, you’ve got your answer. But I’m betting that won’t happen. :slight_smile:

#13

Doesn’t sound like an empty jesture to me, of course she likes you man. Stop second guessing yourself, go get her! :sunglasses:

#14

If you don’t dare to just tell her how you feel, try testing the waters a bit: try sitting closer to her than you would to just a friend, touching her hand when you give her something, etc… if she doesn’t push away, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. In any case, she’s very unlikely to take the initiative, so if you like her, you are the one who has to make it happen.
Good luck!

#15

You’re nervous. That’s sweet but “faint heart ne’er won fair lady.” It sounds like she likes you. Maybe she’s wondering why you haven’t kissed her. If you wait too long, maybe some other, bolder fellow will steal her from you. There, are we motivated yet?

Don’t worry about making mistakes, or making a fool of yourself. You will do all these things, and like it! The important thing is to get to where she understands you, and you her.

PS. I have an idea. Why don’t you show her this thread? Translate it for her if you have to.

#16

[quote=“Screaming Jesus”]
PS. I have an idea. Why don’t you show her this thread? Translate it for her if you have to.[/quote]

Cool a potential new candidate for the Duckboy handle!

#17

thanks for all the replies.

I have no intention of airing out relationship quirks online, but, just needed some advice.

thanks for everyones opinion

#18

Look for the signs:

tiscali.co.uk/lifestyle/sexa … tship.html

:slight_smile:

#19

Its only May. Six weeks or so. Wait until you’ve been to China with her. If you don’t know after that trip then you never will. Or just tell her you fancy her. What’s the worst that can happen?

#20

:roflmao: yeah…what…