Good evening all…
My last post was a while ago, and my last visit to Taiwan was October 2005
The question today, I am back in Canada now, and i have met a girl here for language exchange that is from the mainland ,( I had originally planned to move to taiwan for a few years this year to study mandarin.)
We have been getting along well, but of course, we have become very good friends now.
I am from a very traditional household as she has, but the embarassing part is i have only dated on other girl in my entire life (i am 25) and that did not end very well… consider me inexperienced.
the question i have is, in reading these forums, it seems that typically chinese/taiwanese girls tend to be very skittish from what i have read on these forums and have observed, even though we may get along well, I am worried if i make the request to get to know her better, she may run.
She is a university student but has only been here for 1 year.
Anyway, im not sure if the approach with these women is different than in the west. I dont want to mess up a good opportunity as she is really nice.
thanks for the opinions all.
PS I should add that she invited me to her place in China this summer (her father owns a few properties) and apparently her parents know about me…
If I run away screaming from a guy, here’s what it means: I was always aware of his feelings and tried to ignore them in hopes we could remain friends but he didn’t pick up on my deliberately ignoring or avoiding those subjects - and he kept pushing it. At least you know if she runs away like that she was never interested, then.
Yes, but if it is her first year abroad, it’s entirely possible she has mentioned the LE to her folks without any interest in the OP romantically. She has a foreign friend. That’s progress on her English and on her being comfortable in a foreign land. Also, it is not uncommon for Chinese to invite you to their homes in China, knowing that it is unlikely you would ever actually take them up on the offer.
Not saying it is necessarily so in this case, but many invitations from Chinese are courtesy invitations only. Heck, many invitations from Westerners are too.
as far as the offer of vacation goes, i had to change plans as i could not go with her when we had originally planned.
She was very disappointed and asked what other times i could go.
i said i could go in May, she was all happy again and called her parents to make an alternate arrangement…
Anyway, i guess the question i would have is, how to go about inquiring if she is interested in me… and to show my interest in her… that is my issue
If she is not interested, it is okay, but i want to figure out ahead of time so I dont waste a long time thinking the wrong thing.
Obviously, it is hard for me to just be a good friend if i like her :s
Invite her over for a movie, drink some beer, and jump her bones. If she spits beer out in your face mid-jump, you’ve got your answer. But I’m betting that won’t happen.
If you don’t dare to just tell her how you feel, try testing the waters a bit: try sitting closer to her than you would to just a friend, touching her hand when you give her something, etc… if she doesn’t push away, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. In any case, she’s very unlikely to take the initiative, so if you like her, you are the one who has to make it happen.
Good luck!
You’re nervous. That’s sweet but “faint heart ne’er won fair lady.” It sounds like she likes you. Maybe she’s wondering why you haven’t kissed her. If you wait too long, maybe some other, bolder fellow will steal her from you. There, are we motivated yet?
Don’t worry about making mistakes, or making a fool of yourself. You will do all these things, and like it! The important thing is to get to where she understands you, and you her.
PS. I have an idea. Why don’t you show her this thread? Translate it for her if you have to.
Its only May. Six weeks or so. Wait until you’ve been to China with her. If you don’t know after that trip then you never will. Or just tell her you fancy her. What’s the worst that can happen?
