Recipes based on one packet and two cans

Tomatoes (1 can)
Olives (1 weenie can)
Pasta (1 packet)

plus - garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper

and if you want to get posh… oregano, a dash of wine

  1. chop up garlic
  2. open can of tomatoes
  3. go mental with a knife inside the can. turn on gas and set to low
  4. put a good slop of olive oil in frying pan
  5. fry garlic veeery slowly (or it will go black and bitter)
  6. chuck in mutilated tomatoes, and turn up heat
  7. when it’s bubbling, turn heat down to low
  8. open packet of pasta
  9. drop pasta into boiling water (with salt and a few drops of oil)
  10. scrape burnt tomato from bottom of pan (having trouble multitasking?)
  11. open weenie can of olives, drain them and add to garlic/burnt tomato
  12. add a dash of wine
  13. I think my description is making this sound far more difficult than it really is, but if you got this far, I’m sure you can work out the rest. If not, ttake the bottle of wine - minus the dash - and make it a liquid dinner

Or two packets and one can?

1 packet mixed salad leaves from Wellcome
1 packet halloumi cheese from Matsusei supermarket (on Xinyi Rd, right near Alleycats)
1 can kidney or pinto beans or chickpeas (or if you ask the right pizza chef, you might get a can of mixed beans – even better)

Salad dressing of your choice (vinaigrette’s best)

Toss the salad leaves and beans together with the dressing.

Slice the halloumi into 1/2 cm-thick slices and fry gently in a little tiny bit of oil until nice and brown and toasty (halloumi doesn’t melt like normal cheese)

Bung the halloumi on top of the salad.

If you like, you can toast some pine nuts and throw them on top of the lot.

Eat with crusty bread and lashings of chilled white wine – a nice late vintage pouilly fusee is good, or a very good chablis at a pinch. Or some NT$250 Aussie chardonnay – fuck it – it’s all booze, after all.

Seafood Pasta in 10 easy steps and 10 minutes

*any can of condensed soup with seafood or mushroom flavor (1 can)
*tuna or salmon (1 weenie can)
*Pasta (1 packet)

*plus - garlic, onion, olive oil, salt and pepper

*and if you want to get posh… basil or olives, a dash of wine


  1. boil water in medium pot; open packet of pasta; drop pasta into boiling water (with salt and a few drops of oil)
  2. chop up garlic & onion
  3. open can of soup & can of tuna or salmon
  4. turn on gas under skillet and set to high
  5. put a good slop of NON-extra-virgin olive oil in frying pan; extra-virgin burns more easily
  6. fry onions on high heat; reduce heat; add garlic & sautee veeery slowly (or it will go black and bitter)
  7. chuck in canned tuna or salmon, sans can; add soup, and half a can or more water; raise heat
  8. when it’s bubbling, turn heat down to low
    9)add basil or drained sliced olives (set aside a few for garnish) & splash of wine if desired; turn off heat
  9. when pasta tests al dente (i.e., eat a piece; is it done, but still a touch chewy?), pour through strainer. Serve with geneous sauce, top with garnish.

[quote=“sandman”]Or two packets and one can?

1 packet mixed salad leaves from Wellcome
1 packet halloumi cheese from Matsusei supermarket (on Xinyi Rd, right near Alleycats)
1 can kidney or pinto beans or chickpeas (or if you ask the right pizza chef, you might get a can of mixed beans – even better)

Salad dressing of your choice (vinaigrette’s best)

Toss the salad leaves and beans together with the dressing.

Slice the halloumi into 1/2 cm-thick slices and fry gently in a little tiny bit of oil until nice and brown and toasty (halloumi doesn’t melt like normal cheese)

Bung the halloumi on top of the salad.

If you like, you can toast some pine nuts and throw them on top of the lot.

Eat with crusty bread and lashings of chilled white wine – a nice late vintage pouilly fusee is good, or a very good chablis at a pinch. Or some NT$250 Aussie chardonnay – fuck it – it’s all booze, after all.[/quote]

I remember that night. :sunglasses: