Returning to Taiwan to see my son, and facing criminal charges

Legal General Legal Matters
1

Now I have two sons in Taiwan, from two different mothers. The first, his mother has made it very clear that she wants to give me no contact at all with him, and wants me out of her life and out of Taiwan for good. The second, his mother now refuses to visit me here in Malaysia and demands that I go to Taiwan if I want to see him.

This would not be a problem were it not for the charges filed by the mother of my first son. The “crime” was going into her e-mail once; I was out of the country when the charge got to court, have been indicted, and I have been told that my name is on the airport watch list. The maximum penalty is 3 years in prison, but lawyers tell me that this will most likely will be commuted to a fine. I can’t take the risk of facing a prison sentence because I have my own business and my livelihood would be ruined. However, even if there will definitely be no prison sentence, as far as I see it even the best case scenario is like this:

Arrive in Taiwan and have my passport seized on arrival. Asked to pay some kind of bail pending the court hearing. It could be months until the court hearing. Plead guilty at court, pay the fine. By which time my landing visa would have likely expired, I would not have been able to extend it because my passport is being held by the authorities. Having overstayed, I would have to leave Taiwan and apply for a full visa in order to be able to enter again. By which time I would have a criminal record, which means that my visa application could be rejected. Or alternatively, I might be actually expelled from Taiwan after having been found guilty, and would not be able to return.

There are also other Mickey Mouse charges for “reputation damage”- you know the sort, filed by her, I am not sure if they got to the stage of indictment though. What’s for sure, she could easily make things a lot worse for me if she wanted to, should she have the appetite to do so. All of this just adds to the uncertainty of what would happen if I returned.

I would do anything to be able to see at least one of my sons. However my feeling is that there will simply be no point returning to Taiwan because while the worst case scenario could see me in jail and lose everything, the best case is that this is the last time I will be able to visit anyway.

I have asked the opinions of various lawyers and get different answers, of course. But none of them are optimistic. I definitely cannot plead guilty and pay the court fine from outside Taiwan, even with a Power of Attorney. I would need to go to Taiwan and face the uncertain consequences.

They have all sensibly suggested that I reach an out of court agreement with the mother of my first son, however she refuses to drop the charges even when offered a lot of money by myself.

Am I being overpessimistic with my best case scenario ? Are there any solutions that I haven’t thought of ?

I would appreciate any of your thoughts or suggestions- thanks.

Moderator’s note: Let’s try to keep any replies to this thread as being on topic and helpful. Thank you. --scomargo

2

Lordy that is a right mess ! Wishing you the best. Lets hope someone knows something concrete.

I’m a scratching my head.

3

That first ex seems a right bitch, but I’m only basing that on what you’ve written. Personally, if I were you I wouldn’t risk it. As hard as it sounds, just move on, mate. Learn from this and move on. One day those boys will come looking for you, or maybe they won’t. Make peace with that, too.

4

I’d move back to Taiwan: your business is not fixed in Malaysia, is that right?
Sort out the criminal charges (I can’t imagine anything worse than a fine).
Spend time with Son 2, get a regular arrangement going.
Then spend some time giving Mother 1 (who i remember as being the She-Bitch From Hell from your previous mails) a very hard time, and work on getting to see Son 1.

If you can’t move back to Taiwan, then you got 2 choices:

  1. Never return to Taiwan, and so end-up follow Bismarck’s advice.
  2. Fly back in, pay the fine, take the criminal record, whatever, fly out. If you then subsequently can’t get a Taiwan visa, you’re no worse off than in 1) above.
    But what you need to know is exactly how long you’d be inconvenienced for in the Wan, passport held etc. That is out of my league.

Of course, being on the watch-list might be bullshit, and you just walk back in with a tourist visa. Who told you that you were?
That’s surely worth a roll of this particular dice?

5

Perhaps she’s worried about what might happen to her custody rights if her/your son is in Malaysian jurisdiction. Would she be amenable to meeting in a third location, say Hong Kong?

6

I think you are SOL regarding returning to Taiwan. I would assume that even if you can sort the conviction thing out, you would probably be blacklisted. Perhaps you should just go for an intermediate solution such as paying for the 2nd ex and child to meet you for a few days in Hong Kong? You could highlight for her that HK is a signatory of the Hague Convention on Child Abduction, and that you would have a snowball’s chance in hell of making off with your son if he has entered the territory with her. HK immigration is very careful on these matters, and this could work in your advantage. Most Taiwanese women would be happy to go on an all-expenses-paid shopping trip to Causeway Bay. :wink:

7

For looking at someone’s e-mail?
If that’s true, it’s rather draconian.

8

I don’t have much to add other than: Welcome back, pgdaddy.

It’s sad to hear that this dispute has elevated to such a level, and I wish you luck in being able to see your sons.

9

Thanks for your comments so far guys. It looks like the general consensus would be that for me to return would be a lose-lose situation. I would only want to go to visit, as living in Taiwan is certainly not for me and from what I have seen so far, I think I can settle here in Malaysia.

It’s a tough situation, and not helped by the fact that the mother of my second son is going to be under a great deal of pressure from her family and maybe friends never to visit me outside Taiwan, the usual “don’t trust the foreigner” kind of thing. I’ll just have to hope that she changes her mind. Yes, I have agreed to pay her flights as well as an increased maintenance allowance if she agrees to come, I have also suggested HK and would be prepared to do that (even though the flights to HK are actually more expensive than to here in KK) and of course the extra cost of a hotel there … but knowing her as I do, compromise is just not part of her character …

Anyway I am not here to cry a sob story or make generalisations about Taiwanese women- I just really wanted to get a feel for the practical situation about what would face me if I do return to Taiwan. And from what I hear and read so far, it just isn’t a risk that I am prepared to take.

Off diving tomorrow and will try to be positive, get past this difficult period, and look to the future. By the way, for any of you who haven’t been to Kota Kinabalu (KK) on Malaysian Borneo, I really do recommend that you visit. It’s like the anti-Taiwan, your stress levels will drop unrecognisably as soon as you land here. And the people are great. I daresay that there are some English teaching opportunities here too !

10

[quote=“pgdaddy1”]

By the way, for any of you who haven’t been to Kota Kinabalu (KK) on Malaysian Borneo, I really do recommend that you visit. It’s like the anti-Taiwan, your stress levels will drop unrecognisably as soon as you land here. And the people are great. I daresay that there are some English teaching opportunities here too ![/quote]

I’d go back in a second!

11

You mean to KK, right ?

12

What’s your nationality?

13

Not to mention Malaysia’s pretty liberal retirement scheme for foreigners…you have over 25,000 in the bank and a pension over $2000----PR and health care.

14

Thought bout it and what I would do is go back to Taiwan and fight the charges in court. Bring the battle to them. You won’t necessarily lose.

15

Two kids with two different baby’s-mommas in a foreign country? I am not making judgements, but surely you can see how this might look bad.

I have no direct experience involving legal battles with a local, but those I’ve read about have never ended well for the foreigner.

16

[quote=“CraigTPE”]Two kids with two different baby’s-mommas in a foreign country? I am not making judgements, but surely you can see how this might look bad.

I have no direct experience involving legal battles with a local, but those I’ve read about have never ended well for the foreigner.[/quote]

I am guilty of the charge, however ridiculous it is, I would plead guilty if I did return to Taiwan. The issue is, on the assumption that in fact I don’t get a prison sentence, would I be allowed to stay in the country (or be granted a visa on application to return) anyway after having been found guilty ? If not, then to return would be pointless- unless I am missing something obvious ?

Tommy, taking the battle to the other side ? If that means coming up with countercharges (as one of the Eiger lawyers recommended me) in order to start off a battle of attrition, then- why ? After fighting two custody battles in court in Taiwan and UK, over 4 years, during which I spent millions of NT and came out with nothing (even after the court in the UK gave me interim custody and the court’s Social Worker report recommended full custody in my favour), you would understand why I would want to stay away from lawyers and the court for a lifetime or two ! My feeling now is that it would be better to keep my sanity and happiness intact so that when my sons do come to find me in the future, I will be in a good position to get back into their lives as a father figure.

Hans, I am from the UK- and certainly not expecting any special treatment because of that …

As for Malaysia- have been here not even a month now and already have a variety of friends from the diving scene- Malay, Chinese, Filipino, mixed Chinese-local tribe, mixed Chinese-Thai, have been out to eat and drink, often to Chinese eateries, and always felt chilled, laid back, welcome, never awkward or embarrassed and not vocally being pointed out as being different in the way that happens day to day in Taiwan. Just wish my children could grow up here instead.

17

[quote=“pgdaddy1”][quote=“CraigTPE”]Two kids with two different baby’s-mommas in a foreign country? I am not making judgements, but surely you can see how this might look bad.

I have no direct experience involving legal battles with a local, but those I’ve read about have never ended well for the foreigner.[/quote]

I am guilty of the charge, however ridiculous it is, I would plead guilty if I did return to Taiwan. The issue is, on the assumption that in fact I don’t get a prison sentence, would I be allowed to stay in the country (or be granted a visa on application to return) anyway after having been found guilty ? If not, then to return would be pointless- unless I am missing something obvious ?

Tommy, taking the battle to the other side ? If that means coming up with countercharges (as one of the Eiger lawyers recommended me) in order to start off a battle of attrition, then- why ? After fighting two custody battles in court in Taiwan and UK, over 4 years, during which I spent millions of NT and came out with nothing (even after the court in the UK gave me interim custody and the court’s Social Worker report recommended full custody in my favour), you would understand why I would want to stay away from lawyers and the court for a lifetime or two ! My feeling now is that it would be better to keep my sanity and happiness intact so that when my sons do come to find me in the future, I will be in a good position to get back into their lives as a father figure.[/quote]

What about taking your lumps and just facing the music, getting it over with. Your current strategy seems too avoidant somehow. I wish I had better suggestions for you. I want your kids to love and respect you.

18

[quote=“Tempo Gain”][quote=“pgdaddy1”]

By the way, for any of you who haven’t been to Kota Kinabalu (KK) on Malaysian Borneo, I really do recommend that you visit. It’s like the anti-Taiwan, your stress levels will drop unrecognisably as soon as you land here. And the people are great. I daresay that there are some English teaching opportunities here too ![/quote]

I’d go back in a second![/quote]
Are you talking about going back to KK or him coming here to Taiwan?

I did not really enjoy KK…at all. The only possible exception was the wharf nightmarket. Man they fried some delicious looking fish there. As for the rest of the city, well, we didn’t see all of it…I thought it was cheap crap, mazelike department store blocks full of cheap crap and deeply discounted ugly clothes and unimpressive restaurants.

I honestly enjoyed Sandakan more. And the food was better.

As for PGD1 returning…there is no :throw one’s hands up in utter exasperation" emoticon.

Dude you have dug the biggest hole I have ever seen a man dig. I reach but I simply cannot grasp anything useful to say to you. :s

19

Get a vasectomy? :laughing:

20

:smiley:.

Still think he should come back and sort this mess out. There’s no reason why the courts have to know of his second relationship & Kid 2. All he has to do is plead guilty, sort that out, and then get to see Kid 2. I wouldn’t advise countercharges on Kid 1, but would certainly look to make contact in some way. How old is Kid 1 now?