I live in a veteran’s compound and most elderly ladies have a caregiver. Guys either try to go on their own or go to old home care, to few stay with the family.
I find this topic of elderly care etc very pertinent. Almost feels like it deserves its own thread. I think it is quite scary for many to grow old outside of their country of birth/formative years.
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I don’t think it needs to be scary. Learn the language. Integrate. Understand Taiwan retirement, health care, and long-term care systems. Plan ahead. Especially if you are single/no kids.
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Very sad. Growing old is not for the feint of heart. The alternative is not better though. I used to think i wanted to live to be very old. Now I am not sure. I think the quality of life is more important and i wouldn’t want to be old and have no one to care for me or to be a burden to others.
About old folks homes. My sis and I were lucky our mother was in a home in Taiwan that was very affordable for us due to Taiwan’s health care. And she was well cared for till the end.
My half bro’s mom is now in her mid 80s and is in a home as of a year ago in the bay area. And it’s ridiculous how much it costs. Its about 8k USD/month ! Good thing she is giving her son a house worth a mil plus (which I am renting ). And I hope he does not feel bad to part with some of it taking care of his mom who I would think is not far off from passing . She has severe dementia and doesn’t even respond much .
The other topic about mental health. One of my best buds here a guy let’s call Joe (and because his name actually is Joe). He has been retired over ten years now and has been living a good life renting a small hut up near tahoe for years and years. Affordable for him, he has social security and no debts and his kid is grown, his ex had long been an ex and has also passed away, so he has no obligations. Bout three years ago a tree fell on his little hut and he has been basically homeless since. But its been a great 3 years for him as he parcelled himself out to all his many bros and sisters all over the USA. Some of whom are quite well off, others more working class. And he has a couple buds who bought this house in mexico in baja calif and joe has been living down there rent free for months of the year for the last few years. So life has been good for him but of course this is not meant to be permanent.
Which he understands as he has finally rented a small casita down there in mexico.
The problem…and there always is one . Is that (something i only recently learned from him) is that he is Manic Depressive (but without the Depressive, just Manic). And this condition leads to not being able to sleep and eventually to psychosis and requires time in mental institution until meds stablize him again.
So apparently he has been a patient at what we used to call the “funny farm” aka mental asylum a few weeks at a time a couple of times. But last time was apparently decades ago.
The problem? He has to take Lithium 4 times a day. A certain prescription amount, cant take too little or too much. Lithium is generally safe even for long term use unless the dosage is exceeded apparently.
But it has a side effect of making your hands quiver. Long term use makes this worse. So of late in the last two times he visited (he comes for a week or two a couple times a year and stays with us) he has not been “normal” . And has a much more belligerent personality.
I found out he has refused to take his meds for over a year. But the problem is that he is slowly losing his mind but he has no clue that is even happening?
So in the past year he has become intolerable to his relatives and to his friends as he has become near impossible to associate with. And apparently if he enters the psychotic phase he has become violent in the past and physical restrait in a strait jacket has been needed.
So to the present. After wearing himself thin everywhere in the USA he has also worn himself thin in mexico and his two buds there wont have him around. He also recently (probably not intentionally) set his casita on fire in mexico. And now he is living on the beach there and has his stuff parked on his now disabled Suv (which he fried the engine going down to mexico without sufficient oil in the engine). And he lost his phone so his family and friends have no way to contact him. And I talked to his son and he said there is not a thing he can do. The casita owners want him to pay damages and he doesnt have enough money to pay. His brother who has some money would have to organize a whole “team” to go down there, put him in restraints and take him to a mental institution and inject him with the drugs he needs and pay off the casita owner and all that.
And so i have not heard the latest. His two buds who live part time in mexico say next month they will go down and will take a look to see where he is at.
They think he will end up in a ditch dead.
so yes growing old without support from family and friends is not a good thing to say the least AND to allow yourself to lose your mind thinking it is ok for you to be off meds is NOT a good thing indeed. Thing is joe probably didnt have a clue he was actually losing his mind.
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So this American guy seems to be luckier in that the TW govt seems to be stepping up to the plate to take care of him, put him in a home where he can be cared for. My bud Joe has bacically been left to die in mexico! His friend (one of the two living part time in mexico ) says he is done with him due to the death threats he has gotten. But really i think its the disease talking not the joe we know. And he thinks that joe is basically going to end up like one of the zombies we have in downtown SF wandering around with severe mental issues. Except he is in mexico and no better off.
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Everyone’s going to grow old, no avoiding it
This is one of my biggest fear. Not to grow old but to be old and all alone and worse having some incurable disease on top of it
This is what I always tell people who go around saying “I am happy being single, I don’t need anyone”. Well yeah for now but eventually the demons of depression due to loneliness catch up to all
I am not saying having a partner is a confirmation for lifelong support nor am I saying all single people suffer. I am just saying
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Indeed. The buxiban bros that arrived in 1998-2003 are staying put. I thought they would eventually need to build a wheelchair ramp at Carnegies.
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Yes I mean that’s almost the same almost anywhere in the world isn’t it.
Also Taiwan’s residential population (for the other poster) is a lot more than buxiban bros. As seen in the two deaths mentioned earlier.
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No, Taiwan is unique as they didn’t have this problem 20 years ago.
technically that is not true, there is a way to avoid it, but its not a good way 
The big problem is there’s too few nursing homes, and at least for now, someone getting old without a caretaker is going to die alone or something. Another thing there’s too few of is daycare centers.
It seems both nursing homes and daycare centers are something that costs a ton of money in Taiwan, well in excess of average wage can hope to cover.
Before 2000 when PR was introduced, it was almost unthinkable. And very few foreign residents wanted to retire here before the MRT, NHI, environmental cleanup, and the general increase in wealth that have all improved the quality of life immeasurably.
In fact, I think I can only remember one foreign resident from back then who mentioned that he would stay here permanently. He was thought to be very eccentric. As could be seen from the fact that he chose to live in Keelung among other things. But I digress.
I think I’m just restating @UnderArmor’s point but not sure.
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Yes I arrived around that time. Still that’s 25 years ago and the world has changed immensely since then in many countries.
Now geopolitics is really holding taiwan back, a lot of people won’t move here or settle here because of it I reckon.
But for us long term residents change does feel rather glacial. …also environmental cleanup is definitely 2 steps forward 1 step back.
Anyway what am I talking about shit do I have early dementia?
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There are groups that are pushing for legalizing euthanasia.
Too add to this, in the last 5 years there’s been an influx of people from Eastern Europe and India… so in 30 years there will be all sorts of old foreigners to take care of
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I have come to the conclusion and fully expect that pain awaits eventually, one way or another. Even the best case scenario will be painful. Well, some old, fairly healthy, people living together with a loving family go to bed and never wake up. That the golden ticket? What is the percentage of people ending like that?
Thinking of the fact that everyone’s live ends sooner or later, how come we are so fixated on achieving all the things we feel we need to achieve in life? All we ever really do is drawing images with a stick in the sand on a beach. Won’t last forever, won’t be remembered for long. I am less and less interested in life and more and more curious about what comes next.
Back to the topic, let’s all stick together and, when running into an old expat in Taiwan, say Hi, how’s you doing? Just be kind y’all! Life’s short.
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I fully expect extreme hardship by the time I reach my dad’s age…
You will never reach your dad’s age, unless you figure out the time travel thing. 
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That’s brilliant! Turtle and the hare!