Scooter Stereotypes

I like Brendon’s Dink/Majesty stereotype! I ride a Dink.

I don’t whip it around like the show-off dickheads, though. I didn’t mod it, either.

As for “Dinks do not do corners”, I don’t know what that means. Mine seems pretty much like any other bike I’ve ridden, except it is much easier to steer at low speeds than a Zing 150, with its low rake. (Please don’t flame me if you’ve ridden a Dink before and didn’t like it–it’s irrelevant in this thread.)

I’ve seen many sub-types of this stereotype:
-There’s the “middle aged couple of normal build with clean bike.” With no children on the bike, they could truly be “DINK” (double income, no kids) couples and deserve that bike.
-Then, there’s the fat “I can’t accept that I’m a middle-aged, overgrown scooter-boy” who drives in accordance to Brendon’s suggested stereotype.
-Don’t forget the 20-something mod-masters who weild their bikes around like a bolo, as if to say “If I don’t drive like this, nobody will see how cool my bike is.” I say: “NO, your Majesty, go to hell–and take your mostly-plastic nuisance with you. (Pause) AND, if you want to play with a bolo, move to Argentina and buy one.”

At first, I was pissed off about the Dink/Majesty vs. SUV reference, but now I think that’s kind-of true. These bikes DO seem to be yuppie versions of scooters. How stupid I am. How could I purchase something that equates to the most environmentally-unfriendly, resource-wasting decision on earth: the decision to buy an SUV-type vehicle? (Actually, my Dink gets better “mileage” or “kilometerage” than any bike I have previously owned, so I don’t think of it as a waste of resources.)

…off to Forumosafieds to sell my Dink…haha

They do seem to be the SUVs of the scooter world, no offense to you dinkers out there. But what’s with the name? Say it a few times…“dink”. “dink”. "
DINK?!". :loco: Isn’t that just one of the worst vehicle names you’ve ever heard, aside from the scooter called a “man-boy”, like, what’s that, a pedophile-mobile or something? (no offense to you man-boy riders, unless of course you do happen to be a pedophile) :laughing:

Yeah, trapjaw,

After I bought my Dink, the name bothered me for a few months. After that, I guess I was desensitized to the name. “Dink dink dink” sounds like pieces are falling off–just like airplanes named “Boeing”. “Boing!!!—Help!” Co-workers even teased me about that name. I told one co-worker about a weekend trip and he said “Did you ride the poofmobile?” :fume:

All scooters are poofmobiles. Doh! Stereotyping :doh:

[quote=“trapjaw”]5) Tipply-topply grannies

Usually found on ancient, puttering scooters. Ride VERY slowly and with both feet dangling off the side, hovering just above the surface of the road, because this might help you in case you have an accident. :loco:
[/quote]

I’ve been watching these feet draggers and searched feet and scooter. Funny and true post from trapjaw OP.

Evasive action must be interesting to watch from the feet draggers. They obviously have to turn and balance using their 3 contact points. 2 hands and a bottom.

It must take years of training to get to that level of skill and dexterity using just these body parts.

I am not sure if this is a subcategory or it is a main category so I leave this to you guys than, just I have some of them in my family so want to get them in the list:

Fishfarmers:

They ride a kind of 25 year old scooter but with manual shifting and a lot of platic parts on. They have this plastic saddle bags but it has to be 2. They have this single seat, very wide to fit even the wides backside. Behind the seat and between the saddle bags is a flat space to carry goods even it was engineered to carry small goods. Together with the plastic boxes it give a fair space to put on this open orange platic boxes wich they just put on top of this space and dont fix them to the scooter. Now they fill this boxes up to the top with either catched fishes or the food for the still alive ones. When they start driving they have to hold the box behind their back with one hand which makes them perfectly suitable for the local traffic behaviours.
Usually they stay on this small streets between fish ponds but for the way to the market or any delivery they can also use the big streets. Main area of appearance is the good old south.

They wear slippers, looking like they were still made from the japanese short befor they left, a trouser which could stand alone as the dirt would hold it and a former white I think you guys called them wife-beater? Their skin has to reach the colour of a kenyan sheepherd and the looking like of the leather found in the pyramids. Optional they chew beetle nuts.

Anybody seen them? If not, I can recomend the area a bit north of Tainan.

I wonder if there is a sub-category for people who try to convert their scooters into defacto cars? I once saw a scooter with a sidecar on it, a single plexiglass “windshield” covering both driver and passenger sides and what looked like a re-engineered patio-umbrella for a roof. Wish I had my camera that day…

Haha, nice one mingshah… I’ve seen a few of those fish farmer types around whenever I’ve ridden outside of Kaohsiung city.

:laughing: I wish you’d had your camera too… that would’ve made quite a pic.

Did I mention this category before? :

Decrepit old man on bike-truck
Usually seen in scooter lanes with a line of about 100 scooters desperately trying to pass him. Drives a bike-truck combination (front end of some ancient motorcycle hooked up to the back end of a truck. The back is usually full of garbage, sugar cane, a fat, leathery-looking barefoot hag, various trash items, or a combination of all of the above. The bike-truck also usually has a roof (with tattered frilly bits around the edges) which covers the entire vehicle, but has not succeeded in preventing the old fellow’s skin from attaining dark brown leather-ness. The truck part is usually dirty blue, the bike, well, usually impossible to tell from the coating of filth and grime. Bike sounds like it is about to fall to pieces and billows out clouds of smoke from the exertion of pulling the contraption along at its absolute top speed of 5km/h. This vehicle ALWAYS occupies the centre of the scooter lane and positions itself so that there is just NOT enough space to pass it via the left or right. The old geezer driving it has become completely immune to blaring horns, shouting and insults, so he usually just putters on blissfully unaware of the herd of scooters clogged up behind him.

Sideways Xiao Jie Surprise: Taiwanese ladies who firmly believe that a real woman puts modesty before safety every time. How do they avoid messing up their hair? A loose fitting hat that’s one step up from an xmas decoration. How do they manage to stay put doing 60km/h sideways? Legend has it that they remain firmly attached through powerful magnets surgically implanted into the ass. God bless the fearless Sideways Xiao Jies.

I hardly ever see women on scooters here go in anything but a straight line, even if they’re headed, shrieking, right into a collision. Guys, on the other hand, will swerve to avoid a pavement marking.

Okay, I should clarify: Sideways Xiao Jie Passenger surprise. You know what I’m talking about - the ones who think climbing onto the back of a scooter is for whores.

Oh, I see. Yeah, ok, I agree.

I’m surprised no one has mentioned one of the IMHO more serious bad habits: the left hand in the pocket while riding. For me, it’s right up there with the wrong-side of the ma3 lu4 redlight left turn. This trait can be see across several categories. In some it 's simply a matter of being ill-prepared for the "cold " winter weather. For the vroom-vroom muppets it’s intended as a sign of genius at the art of scooter riding, whatever the point of that is.

I like this: I think there should be a whole thread devoted to the underlying psychology of this behavior. Maybe there is already?

Thanks, Redwagon. I’ve also noticed the enduring romance between the Taiwanese and their plastic packing material… Just like the clear plastic shower cap on the scooter seat that never gets removed and thrown away. One of these days, the cost-cutters at the scooter manufacturing companies are going to realize that they could save lot of money in naugahyde by simply putting the shower cap right over the foam in the seat!

Muffriders should also be a category. I haven’t seen one in a few years but they should still be out there…muffriding around. :slight_smile: