the following conversation was intercepted without a warrant, so it’s okay
C=CSB(Charlie S. Bubba)
S=SMT(Sam M. Tyrone)
[START PLAYBACK]
cell phone rings (ringtone is the sound of people counting paper money)
C: hey, what’s up man…
S: nothing much, bud… but I hear you done some crazy sht and got some serious dough
C: NO WAY!!! it was my old lady and crazy homies
S: oh okay… but word on street is that they want you out
C: I know… maybe you can help me out for old times’ sake?
S: what do you want me to do? rub someone out?
C: no… I can get other people doing that for me… besides, thou shalt not kill
S: thou shalt not kill !!!???
C: yeah, I saw that in some old movie with that crzay American gun dude
S: no kidding… you got the DVD?
[b]C: no… but it was fcking awesome, the dude parted the red tomatoe soup or sumthin[/b]
S: I hate tomatoes… they’re so red…
C: like a light bulb just exploded in my head… I know how you can help me
S: what?
C: you go on teevee and tell people that you have turned against me
S: say what? thought we were best buds till the end…
C: no stupide, you just tell them that and they’ll surely believe you
S: oh, okay… so you want me to fake it like how chick fake it when I’m in bed with them?
C: sumthin like dat…this will distract those bums for at least a few weeks or months.
S: okay… I’ll get a giant pretend protest started…
C: while you’re at it, make them give you some spending money… like a hundred bucks
S: can’t even buy a pack of smokes for a hundred bucks
C: stupid, did you get 100 out of 600 on your math SAT? 100 times a million bucks!
S: bro, I’d be fcking rich…
C: but you can’t spend the dough on yourself
S: WTF?
C: you gotta keep them on the streets long enough to wear them down
S: do I gotta sleep on the streets? 'cause I need to get my beauty sleep every night
C: do this for me and I’ll remember this favor
S: you gonna get me a date with your hot secretary
C: no… but I’ll pay you…
S: cool… let me get my Zurich account number
C: no bonehead, I can only give you gift certificates
S: gift fucking certificats… no way… they are like useless sh*t
C: no, these are from SOGO…
S: oh man, that’s cool with me… I heard SOGO just got those spanking new Levi jeans
C: don’t forget they also sell those bow ties you like so much…
[CALL ENDS]
Note: no animals were harmed or abused,except Hampton the dancing Hampster
