See the couple in the bar? That's Mr and Mrs Plod

This should in no way be considered an anti-Brit post.[quote] See the couple in the bar? That’s Mr and Mrs Plod
By Tom Utley, (Filed: 27/05/2005)

There is something deeply sinister about the latest ruse dreamt up by the Avon and Somerset police for catching drink drivers. Six undercover officers, three male and three female, have been trained to mingle with drinkers in country pubs on the edge of the Cotswolds, posing as courting couples.

They will note how much their fellow customers are drinking. Then, they will follow their suspects into the car park, wait for them to reach for their car keys and arrest them.

“The telltale signs,” said Chief Inspector Tim Harris, displaying the dazzling detective skills that have carried him to the top of his profession, “will be if someone is slurring their speech, staggering or smelling of alcohol.” Brilliant, my dear Holmes!

The scheme, reported in yesterday’s papers, put me immediately in mind of the antics of the Gestapo in 'Allo 'Allo. I imagined a ravishing blonde in a beret, sitting at a corner table in the snug at the Lamb and Flag, Snoddington-in-the-Marsh, apparently nibbling her companion’s ear.

In fact, she is peering past his false whiskers at the tweed-suited gentleman at the bar, whispering: "Suspect codenamed ‘The Colonel’ has just ordered a second large gin and tonic. Four units, and counting…"b[/b] … inion.html[/quote]
'Allo 'Allo was one of my favorites programs.

All they need to do is put a police car - an old one, in the pub car park or just down the road and leave it there for the punters to see.

Punter sees police car and thinks police are in area. In reality, the copper is back at the nick doing something more useful like drinking coffee.
Result No.1: Punters don’t drink or they walk home.
Result No.2: Minimal resources used.

Pick the police car up in the early hours and take it to another pub the next evening on a rotation system.

Even better, lets have police back walking around on the street as a deterrant to yobs, drink drivers and burglars instead of 'avin them stuck in the nick doing unecessary paperwork.

I bet this idea has come from Blairs figure making department - figures for detecting drink driving will rise making him look good. Part of the idea would have come from his “Let’s Spy On The People Because They Can’t Look After Themselves As This Is A Nanny State” department.

This fucking government is a waste of time.

Hmmm. Sounds like a job for the “designated drunk.” :wink:

Exactly how much training do you need to sit in a pub?

I don’t know what kind of training they’d need, but first I’d wonder if they used this as the textbook:

And second, if it was paid training, if they have any more openings.

Well, David, I honestly don’t know. Everyone else left after five hours.
No worries. I’m sure someone will turn up eventually to continue the job interview.
In the meantime…

If it stops drunks from driving there is a lot to be said for that.