[quote=“Boss Hogg”]The problem will be getting everyone together. If we all met up would we just start beating each other?
I want a black Benz :-)[/quote]
I don’t think so. Not right away anywayz.
My ride would be an old beat up scooter. I’d grow my hair out really long (afrolike) and people would get out of my way where ever I went cause they’d be like “Hey, that’s that afro-headed-crazy-Segue-Mafia-foreigner”.
I don’t think we (I) can afford a Benz right away. And if I could, it’d be better spent invested in binglang.
Yes, but does Omni have the ability to order betelnut in Taiwanese and chew it nonchalantly as he zips in and out of traffic with his BNB?
Our Dage must be skilled in certain arts to qualify, you know.
He must also be prepared for the ocassional daodiaodz, which is the “King of the Betel Nut” found in one of every fifty bags, and several times for powerful than the regular kind. One of these baby’s knocked all 100 kilos of me on my ass once.
Ironlady, you’ll have to serve your apprenticeship by working one of the stalls. Tomas and Miltown will help with the choice of attire. I’ll prepare myself for my duties by hanging out at whatever is the current version of Spin. I’ll ask the lads there to coach me in the art of chewin’ and spittin’ the nut. And I’ll mess with a few of their gals to put the word on the street that I don’t fear nuttin’.
Oh, as DaGe, you won’t have to do your own fighting. We’ll just form a phalanx of a dozen or so large foreigners around you. Our betel nut babes can step on the eggs of the opponents with their high heels, once we knock them down. Chainsmoker can train us–he’s a martial arts master.
Attire? That’s easy. Big, baggy pants (hope you’re a member of the no-ass club), flowered shirt, flip flops, gold chains. I can loan all of this to you to get you started.
I can also teach you about binlang, I’m both proud and ashamed to say.
I’ll run the cash cow “Western Women’s Wailing Corps” (“for the gangster who had everything”). I figure we can pick up some extra cash renting ourselves out to the other gangs for their funerals. You know, the more blondes in the crowd wailing, the more expensive. Soon every gangster will want to have us wail for them. Of course we’ll work free for our own events (political rallies, department store openings, and the like.)
I think you are confused. I AM a master baiter, however, so I could probably make a rival gang angry enough that they witlessly attacked the interlocked pizza boxes of your phalanx. My only worry is that my oversized head and tiny black lungs might prohibit me from getting out of the way in time.
We’ll have to decide which political party to align ourselves with. Or should we play it safe by forming close links with them all? Would that be ethical? And which legislator should we adopt as our spiritual leader?