As my dear old Pa used to say, usually when I’d make the same mistake repeatedly (How any times CAN one run over the lawn mower cord or strip a screw???):
Guddammit boy, even a bloody DOG learns!
So, in honour of Friday, here’s where you can list what you learned this week.
A fact, a new skill or ability, anything’s good, as long as you learned it this week.
I DID NOT KNOW that the (baseball) “foul strike rule” was only adopted in 1901. Before that, hitters could foul out 'til the cows came home, with the count remaining unaffected.
[quote]The dead-ball era came to an end after the fatal beaning of Ray Chapman during the 1920 season. Chapman was killed by a submarine pitch from Carl Mays in the 5th inning of a twilight game. Witnesses stated that Chapman never moved to get out of the way of the ball, and it is assumed he simply couldn’t see it. The new Commissioner of Baseball, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, instituted several new rules during the season, both in response to Chapman’s death as well as an effort to liven up the game. Starting in 1920 new balls were replaced at the first sign of wear, resulting in a ball that was much brighter and easier for a hitter to see. The other major rule change was the elimination of the spitball.
What I learned this week is that if your wife is “trying” to lose weight, and she says something like,
“Why can’t I lose any weight? I just don’t understand it!” (hopeless smiley)
She doesn’t want you to explain to her why she can’t lose any weight. The appropriate response has nothing to do with calories or exercise; the best response is,
“Yeah, it sure is tough to lose weight.” or
“There are mysteries in this world that science will never understand.” (concerned smiley)[/quote]
Yeah, and you probably don’t want to be halfways through a tub of Haagen Dass when you’re having that conversation with her too…
Oh, wait! I DID learn something. I learnt that if I want the halfcaste to sit, I have to say “sit down,” not “sit,” on account of he copies shit that I say except he can make the shhhhh sound but not the sssss sound, so he’ll pat the sofa beside him and say “shit! shit! shit!” People have noticed. They pass unkind comments about his father’s foul tongue.
He also seems to have attenuated hearing and can hear even the quietest of farts, which makes him remark “poo-poo! POO-POO!” in a loud triumphant tone, while pointing at the perpetrator. That has also caused me to be thankful that I’m not easily embarrassed.
When the housekitten was the age yours is now, he seemed to need to tell me each time he farted. He’d say, “Mommy, I farted.” If I didn’t properly acknowledge this accomplishment, he’d grab my hand, pull on it until I looked him in the eye and say very forcefully, “Mommy, I FARTED!” while pointing with his other hand at his bottom! I had to say, “Yeah! Good job!” or he wouldn’t stop telling me. People used to just fall out laughing because it did embarrass me.
Today is a treasure trove of new things indeed! Who KNEW? – certainly not me – that you could threadjack a the chief thread with baby-talk without receiving a blast of righteous Canookislovakistanian indignation and venom?