Hello everyone,
It has been ages since I have posted on this forum cos I left Taiwan quite a while ago. Anyway I am faced with a bit of a dilemma so I am seeking some ‘useful’ advice from you guys. Just so you can understand my situation a bit more I will give you some background information. I first met my Taiwanese girlfriend at university here in Melbourne, Australia when she was studying here as an international student. We met about six years ago and since then she has lived in Australia for about 18 months and I also lived in Taichung for about 16 months. There was also a significant amount of time that we were separated meaning she was living in Taichung while I was living in Melbourne yet we were still able to keep a long distance relationship going. It cost me alot of money in flights to Taiwan going back and forth several times but I thought it would be worth it if we stayed together. We never spent more than six months without seeing each other for at least a few weeks at a time. For the past six months my girlfriend has been living here in Melbourne with me and things have been really good for the most part. However, about 3 months ago she told me that her mother has been feeling very depressed and her situatioin has progressively worsened. Apparently she has been taking anti-depressants for quite a while but she is still not very well. Anyway my girlfriend went back to Taichung last week to spend Chinese New Year with her family and originally she was planning to return to Melbourne in early March. However, her parents have now pleaded with her to stay in Taiwan and to not return to Melbourne. My girlfriend really wants to come back to Australia but she feels guilty and worries about her mother’s condition and that her parents may betray her if she refuses to stay. Of course I want her to come back and we were planning to get married later this year but I’m really not sure whether I want to ruin my girlfriend’s relationship with her parents. I worry that if I really pressure her to come back and she does then her mother will become even more depressed. I know my girlfriend is quite close to her mother and I think it is hard for her mother to accept not seeing her daughter very often. I don’t think our relationship is the cause of her mother’s depression but I don’t think the separation from her daughter is really helping the situation. My girlfriend’s parents have since the very beginning had a hard time accepting our relationship. They are from small town Taiwan and having a daughter who has a western boyfriend is seen as publicly shameful to them. Anyway I think I have said enough but I just wanna see what you guys think. Should I just let her go or should I try harder to keep us together?? Me living in Taiwan is not a viable option for two reasons. Firstly, I was unjustly blacklisted back in 2005 for not giving enough notice to my former employer after I resigned. Secondly, I returned to Australia and finished my postgraduate studies after I was blacklisted and have since found a great job and are establishing myself in a new career. So in hindsight the blacklisting has been a blessing in disguise as it forced me to take a new direction which I am now really happy with. So even if I wasn’t blacklisted I couldn’t really consider returning to Taiwan as it would a big step backwards career wise and I just couldn’t justify it. So it seems the only way we can stay together is for my girlfriend to return to Melbourne against her parents wishes. What should I do? Should I fight for her or should I just let her parents set her up with their ideal rich Taiwanese guy? Yes, that’s right they keep introducing her to wealthy Taiwanese guys even while we are still together.
Erick