Should my wife fly back to Taiwan for the birth?

Taiwan Parenting
1

Hi All,

Great news from Melbourne - we are expecting our first in April '10! :discodance:

As we have no family here we have been toying with the idea of my wife going back to Taipei. There are number of good and bad things:

Good:

She will be around her own family
Language will not be a problem
We wouldn’t have to jump through hoops to see a doctor (so I’ve been told)
She will have the support of her mum and family after the birth

Bad:

Costs of flights
taking an infant on the plane
I more than likely will not be able to attend

This is our first, so naturally we are worried that my wife may not be as comfortable here as she would be in Taiwan. We are being helped by a fantastic GP and great hospital - The Women’s in Melbourne.

Also if it is born in Taiwan, will it (don’t know the sex yet) be Taiwanese?

Ideas please.

Thanks,

L.

2

Congratulations, Limey!

In your situation, I’d stay put. Maybe try to get the mum-in-law or a sister-in-law, if available, to fly out to Oz to be with your wife just before and, most importantly, after the birth. Having family around will be enormously helpful to her then.

But the thought of flying her across to Taiwan when she’s nearly due, and then flying her and the newborn baby all the way back soon afterwards, sounds highly undesirable to me. And if it also would (or even possibly could) mean your not being able to be with her for the birth, then for me that would completely scotch any idea of having her return to Taiwan.

3

I’m with Omni. Nuclear family comes before extended family.

4

Besides, the child can still claim Taiwanese citizenship (in addition to any other) by virtue of having at least one Taiwanese citizen parent. NO matter where he/she was born.

5

Male child born in TW may be subject to military conscription. But this may be obsolete by the time he grows old enough.

6

Stay put. If you have the cash, help a sister or other relative to go out there for the sitting month thing or whatever.
Also, some airlines won’t sell a ticket to a heavily pregnant woman, and some won’t sell a ticket to a person with a very small infant, so you could find yourselves apart for several weeks or even a few months. I sure wouldn’t like that very much.

7

We flew out here (Wan) when my wife was 7 months full, it’s not advisable much later than that. 28 weeks is generally the cut-off point for airlines. We flew long-haul back to the UK for the first time when our daughter was 5 months.

Have heard of people flying with new-borns that are a week old, but as it’s your first I can’t imagine that would be a stress-free experience. Plus if she gives birth in Taiwan your m-i-l will have her in bed for the first month and on a chicken-soup diet.

So you’re looking at your wife being here for at least 3 months minimum. Sounds like you should stay put.

8

Having had two kids out of my home country (ie. in Taiwan), these are some questions I might ask: Has your wife decided whether she wants to do the traditional one-month after the birth? If so, can she get all the things she needs for that in Australia? How is her English? If she is in Australia, can you give her as much support as she needs after the birth, or are you too busy at work? What if she starts to feel lonely/down during the day and needs company? If there is no family, are there friends around? Is she confident speaking to doctors and others in the hospital to express her needs and wants? Has she expressed that she would love her mother to be there? If so, can her mother go to Australia and stay as long as your wife thinks she would like? If her mother stays a long time, will you be Ok with that? Have you researched hospitals in Taiwan and found somewhere that sounds like a place your wife would be happy to have a baby?

I flew to New Zealand once when I was pregnant and then again when my baby was two months old. It wasn’t a problem for me, but I was confident about it to start with, and baby and myself were both healthy and calm. It’s harder on me traveling alone with older kids!

Hope that helps you in your decision-making.

9

Many thanks for all the ideas and help, please keep them coming.

Cheers,

L :smiley:

10

I’d fly mom in law in for 2 months at least preferably 3. The first month she can get her stuff together for the chicken soup and to find the best fish market.

I’d also mention that newborns are hard on new mothers because they haven’t done it before and have less confidence. My wife never gave the baby a bath by herself till I did it first. While I don’t give my little princess a bath often because it scares us both, I will in a pinch.

11

Congrats Limey! I also agree with the posters above that if I were in your shoes, I’d have the baby in Oz and possibly have a relative join your wife during that time. Enjoy the blessings of fatherhood!

12

Thanks Scomargo!

We are really looking forward to it.

We had a long chat last night and have decided to stay put. I really really want to be there for the birth, we hope that mum will be able to make it over.

I’ll let you know how 小 Bean progresses. Incidentally my sister is due just a week after my wife, so there is no way my parents will come over.

L :smiley:

13

Hey, limey. What great news. (I mean the baby not that you won’t be coming to Taiwan. :wink: ) I do hope you guys fly back at some point to show him or her off. Or I get invited to another conference in Melbourne.

Miss you two, and now three.

14

Definitely be back MM want to show the little 'un Taroko, Ali Shan and all the best bits of Taiwan.

L.

15

I am in Brisbane. We had our first in Taiwan and are expecting twins anytime now. PM me if you want to chat over email or something.

16

Many thanks AWOL,

We seem to be doing okay, the Women’s Hospital is really good. We are moving next week so we have to change the GP so she won’t have to travel so far. My wife has found a Chinese speaking GP in Werribee but will travel to Melbourne for the birth.

We went to the hospital today and heard the heart beat; 153 bpm!

Good luck with yours too!

L.