I thought having her mum 30km away and having a filthy main road within 800m would ease the culture shock, but …[/quote]
you’ve found your own answer. move her mum in with you guys - problems solved [/quote]
Well, your missus does not have it from strangers, so you will just double your problem.
Now, honestly I have this little piece of information for you: If you were a Taiwanese bloke, her not being at home (your home) would just not be on. Your dad would call her mom, asking her to send his daughter in law back NOW - or a refund of the reverse dowry would be in order.
If that did not work, a bit of pressure on the lizhang in your in-law’s neighborhood would also help, adding in calling on the local police claiming that she left, just for good measure.
And, that’s not a western thing, but she would most likely get a bollocking at one stage as well.
Remember that this is a vertical society, and the wife is supposed to respect and take her cue from her husband and his parents.
Apart from that I would buy a ton of beer and invite all the friends over. making it into a bar of sorts with young nubile xiaojie’s in attendance.
Where is your new house located?