So you got past the asking

Here’s the next one.

You’ve asked the obligatory number of times and got to the “Yes, I’d love to go out on a date with you” stage. You’ve even set a time and a place.

A couple of hours beforehand you call to confirm and learn that she’s been called in to work unexpectedly, still in bed with a hangover, overloaded with homework, visiting a friend who is having an emotional crisis, in Singapore, possessed by the devil, or something equally important that is going to prevent her being where she said she would be at the time she said she would be.

Do you reschedule, and if so how many times do you try before you give up?

OR, she tells you that she’s a bit late getting started due to her mother’s shopping needs taking precedence, but she’ll be on her way shortly. Eventually she gets there 30minutes to three hours late. How long do you wait?

What are your personal limits to flakiness?

Flakiness is bad. Here are my takes on the various excuses she has given:

[quote=“Loretta”]you call to confirm and learn that she’s been called in to work unexpectedly[/quote] – the urge to copulate is more important than work

[quote=“Loretta”]still in bed with a hangover[/quote] If she is Chinese and enjoys going to bars every night --you’re asking for trouble. I would go for a “tea-drinking” lass.

[quote=“Loretta”]overloaded with homework[/quote] – the urge to copulate is more important than homework

[quote=“Loretta”]visiting a friend who is having an emotional crisis[/quote] – this one I could forgive.

[quote=“Loretta”]in Singapore[/quote]-- Any girl that likes Singapore should be given the boot “toute suite.”

[quote=“Loretta”] possessed by the devil[/quote] – offer to give her an exorcism. :howyoudoin:

My own opinion is you have to lay down the law. If she keeps treating you like a monkey, show your anger (in a suave way of course), and mention to her that this is not acceptable. If she shows up late, you tell her your time is precious and if she does it again, tell her to find another date. If she can sense weakness, she will play these games with you.

Personally I say rescheduling once is fine - shit happens sometimes, you’ve got to be flexible and deal with it - twice is pushing her luck (it’d have to be a damned good reason), and three times and she’s out the door. As for lateness, depending on circumstances, up to a half-hour could be acceptable the first time; like I said, shit happens. Anything much over a half-hour and the foot is put down. And if she does it twice without a bloody good excuse, and at the very least hard words will be spoken.

Chewy, these are hypotheticals. I’m with Tetsuo, it’s the same as the asking out rule. 3 times and it’s all over.

If she reneges on the plan without offering a very specific alternative time (“I can’t make tonight, how’s Thursday at 3?”), she’s not really interested in you, but only looking for an excuse to avoid the engagement. If she’s interested but doesn’t try to set an alternate date she’s probably flaky and unreliable. Either way, further persistence will probably lead to annoyance for her, and frustration for you.

In my experience this has held true in Taiwan as well as it did in the United States.

Two pieces of advice/info to mull over…

  1. Taiwanese (I assume she is local) do do crazy things, like break dates to work/clean shoes etc.
  2. You just asked her out and she is already blowing you out. (Fnar Fnar) Is she worth it?

[quote=“Loretta”]Eventually she gets there 30minutes to three hours late. How long do you wait?

What are your personal limits to flakiness?[/quote]

I’m always late, if she is later than me i’ll walk… :stinkyface:

What’s up with Taiwanese girls? Their behaviour makes no logical sense. I can’t begin to count the times when I’ve snagged a phone number and set up a date, only to be stood up with some dumb excuse - the rate’s at least 50%, maybe even 2/3 of the time. Why do Taiwanese girls pretend they’re interested when they’re not?

Maybe they don’t know what they want. And maybe they can’t be bothered to find out.

most of time they are interested, otherwise they wouldn’t give you their #'s right?! (well, some just gave out their #'s cuz they don’t know how to say NO) But most Taiwanese girls like to play hard to get. Yes, I know it is dumb but they do it. They don’t want to be SEEN too easy. They need to keep a poser and an act so they don’t lose their dignity. But sorry to say, once you hook up w/ them, they will hog on to you like there is NO tomorrow!!

well, at least for me, i don’t play hard to get and games, no need for BS like this!! :loco:

I don’t know what typical Taiwanese girls/women are like, but I know that, in the beginning, my gf was late every time we went out. I don’t just mean by a few minutes; I mean she was 10 or 15 minutes late ever time we got together. It drove me nuts. Once, about three weeks into it, she was about 30 or 40 minutes late, so I just left and ignored her for a few days. She thought I stood her up, but I explained that I was in fact there, that had waited a long while, and that my time was valuable, blah, blah, blah. She’s never been more than 5 minutes late since.

As far as meeting this girl, I think you should only give her one more chance. If she screws it up again, leave everything up to her. Let her make the effort. Let her make the plans. And if she doesn’t then… there you go.

I’m thinking of the Beach Boys… Aah yes…

I wish they all could be MiakaW girls… :slight_smile:

If you’re late I don’t care,
If you’re on time I don’t care,
If you’re playing hard to get I don’t care,
If you want to spend time with your friends I don’t care,
If you just want to tell me about your asshole ex boyfriend I don’t care,
If you smoke, do drugs, booze, and love all night threesome parties I don’t care,
But if you want to go shoeshopping. FUCK OFF!

A bit narrow-minded if you ask me.

What gloom said.

I had a gf once who used to want to meet at all sorts of weird times - like at 11pm when she knows I have to work early the next morning and so forth. Then she would be half an hour late, or more. One time she was actually being followed by a jealous ex!

One day she was supposed to meet me at 10am to help me deal with my landlady. I called - why do so many TW girls have two phones and never answer either one? - and eventually got a hold of her at about 10:30. She was with her mother. At 11 she called to let me know she was on her way and would be there in 30 minutes. She eventually showed up at 12, as I was on my way out of the door to go to work.

I stopped calling her after that, and whenever she called I would just tell her to come to my place. I would never make arrangements to meet her anywhere else, and if she was late I wouldn’t stay home waiting for her. Actually, I don’t remember ever actually seeing her again although she did phone quite a lot for a while.

It was crap like this that made me decide I’d rather not bother, and seek out the company of western women. But in this town I do seem (amazingly) to meet an awful lot of local girls, and they all seem to share the same characteristics of flakiness. I don’t make the effort to deal with it, but was interested to know whether everyone else has the same problem(s) or do I have some special quality that makes women like this.

Thanks for your replies. Keep 'em coming.

I’m thinking of the Beach Boys… Aah yes…

I wish they all could be MiakaW girls… :slight_smile:[/quote]

Actually, I’ve seen a photo of Miaka. She’s fairly obese and has a moustache. One of her used-up ex-lovers reports that she’s very high maintenance, a drunkard, has one of those irritating squeaky voices and giggles a lot.

Best you leave her to me.

I’m always late. No exceptions. It’s usually 15 minutes to half an hour. But it’s because girls take much longer to prepare for dates. I mean, there’s 7 different moisurizers to put on the different parts of your face. Guys just roll out of bed, put on the shirt they wore last night, run their fingers through their hair and run out the door.
Well, my Exs have learned just to let it be. Besides it’s for your benefit that girls do all that primping to smell nice and look pretty.

I don’t give excuses, much less good ones. I don’t need them. :sunglasses:
I try not to be too late though, it’s rude.

Loretta you’ve got to roll with the punches. You do tend to pick the odd ones though.

I think we have two matters to deal with here.

  1. Women being tardy.

  2. Women breaking dates to go shoe shopping. (FOX I couldnt agree more, tell her to FUCK OFF)

  3. Mrs. Hill takes the cake. Last night an incredible 45 minutes spent on getting into bed. Takes off clothes, washes, cleans face, puts on bed clothes, puts on moisturiser, checks the kitchen hasnt been attacked by the terror squad, unlocks and relocks the front door (WHY?), applies night cream, then gets in to bed. The morning routine can take over one hour. Old Tom needs a shit, shower and shave then its done. So, women are tardy creatures. I’d give them some elbow room here.

  4. ANY excuse to [color=red]break[/color] a date should really be done with a massive apology from her, except a death in the faaaamily, in most cases sex would be an adequate apology. :smiley:

I don’t like to be late and do my best not to be late, but sometimes I can’t help it. Usually it’s a 5 - 15 mins.
But then I’ve also been stood up before and sometimes the guy shows up like 20 minutes late. What’s up with that then? :noway:
So seriously it’s not only the girls that are usually late.

I have very low self esteem, so I’m always like 20 minutes early…which sucks if the person I’m waiting for is late, because then I think they don’t care, or don’t value my time…then I feel dumb for showing up early…it’s a vicious cycle :frowning: