Social life...:(

Taiwan Living in Taiwan
1

Hi
I’ve been browsing through my friends pics on facebook and I’m just totally gutted. They keep on refreshing their status…then they are meeting up for drinks after work, then they’re going to watch a play, then this, then that.

I used to be very social back home, my door was always open and people were constantly knocking on my door. But Taiwan has made me completely isolated in that sense. I do have friends, but this year most of them (and they have been here for more than 5 yrs) are going back home. And even the friends that I do have, I don’t have that much in common with…great to hang out, but when we do we hardly have the time to just sit and really talk.

I miss having close relationships with people…I feel like I spend most of my time with 5 yr olds…and that it’s robbing my IQ…WHen I do meet interesting people it’s on the weekend and I’m so tired that I struggle to even speak English! Nevermind having a nice meaningful relationship.

GUess I just miss my old job…I used to be the manager of a 24hour coffeeshop across from a drama department at university, so my life was always packed with extremely colorful characters.

ugh…Maybe it’s just the damn rain getting me all moody.

2

I’ve kept a journal all my life. I don’t regularly read it, but the other day I went flipping through some of my more social days during university, etc.(way back when…I’m getting old!!), and realized much the same thing as you’re relating Battery9. I used to be very social, but find myself rather solo here in Taiwan as the years go by. It’s not that I don’t want to get out more, hang out with people I know, meet new people, yet I just don’t push myself to do much of that these days.
Maybe it is just the rain… :idunno:

3

The fact that I’m here for a long time and most others just come and go also makes me NOT want to get too close to anyone. After 6 yrs I’m just so sick of saying good-bye to friends…

4

At least you have five-year-old people to talk to.

:s

5

You think YOU have it bad? I feel exactly the same way, and I work in an office.

6

hahaha
J has been in Japan for 4 days and I’m having HUGE conversations with the dogs! It’s pretty therapeutic…till they poop and pee in the house because of the rain.
yes, guess im lucky…my 5 yr olds rock.

7

You guys think you have it bad … I’m at home all day, talking to myself when I’m not out and talking to the insects I photograph … at least most of you have social contacts … as long as I had my eatery I got to meet some of you/foreigners once in a while … now, only a couple of times a year at most …

The hard part of living as an ‘expat’ abroad is that most foreigners you befriend are staying for a term, 3-5 years and than move on … even foriegners married to a local move on sometimes, mostly related to eductation of the children …

Losing all your friends at home is also hard, going home and enjoying meeting them is getting harder everytime … it’s 4 been four years since I’ve been home …

8

Where is your eatery BP? I might come around for a chat. I could certainly do with some decent pastry.

9

Ask yourself: What is stopping me from creating the circle of friends that I want? Perhaps the social environment is quite different from what it was back home, but those differences don’t have to mean a loss of something that was an important part of your life.

I acknowledge the fact that all of us long-termers deal with friends moving away. My circle of friends is more dynamic in Taiwan than it was back home, but I find that rather than this being a negative, I enjoy it. And those friendships that are truly meaningful are easy to maintain, if both sides desire it. I still exchange e-mails and phone calls with my friends who became like brothers, even though they are now in London, Beijing, Tainan, Chicago, etc.

10

Good thoughts there Tomas. I actually find that my circle of friends here is more static than it was in Australia. In Australia people regularly move all over the place (usually for work or school), and since this often involves considerable distances, it usually means moving out of reach of friends.

Of the close friends I’ve made here over the last 3 years, all of them are still here. Mind you, the vast majority of my friends here are locals, and my closest friends here are all locals. They’re not going anywhere in a hurry.

11

Me and irishstu were having the exact same conversation yesterday battery9… I know exactly what you are saying and feel pretty much the same.

12

Even worse for you: Battery9 only has five-year-olds to talk to, I have dogs, but you have irishstu. :frowning:

13

[quote=“Stray Dog”]

Even worse for you: Battery9 only has five-year-olds to talk to, I have dogs, but you have irishstu. :frowning:[/quote]

Yeah… when you put it like that :frowning:

14

Look on the bright side: you could avoid him; things would soon pick up for you then.

15

Closed for almost a year now …

16

Oh. :frowning:

17

[quote=“Battery9”]Hi
I’ve been browsing through my friends pics on facebook and I’m just totally gutted. They keep on refreshing their status…then they are meeting up for drinks after work, then they’re going to watch a play, then this, then that.

I used to be very social back home, my door was always open and people were constantly knocking on my door. But Taiwan has made me completely isolated in that sense. I do have friends, but this year most of them (and they have been here for more than 5 yrs) are going back home. And even the friends that I do have, I don’t have that much in common with…great to hang out, but when we do we hardly have the time to just sit and really talk.

I miss having close relationships with people…I feel like I spend most of my time with 5 yr olds…and that it’s robbing my IQ…WHen I do meet interesting people it’s on the weekend and I’m so tired that I struggle to even speak English! Nevermind having a nice meaningful relationship.

GUess I just miss my old job…I used to be the manager of a 24hour coffeeshop across from a drama department at university, so my life was always packed with extremely colorful characters.

ugh…Maybe it’s just the damn rain getting me all moody.[/quote]

my guess is that you are a female furriner? The guy ones are usually thick into the ladies and too busy to mope around? :slight_smile:

But that aside Taipei can be lonely . Being a big city and all. What works for me finding friends wise is to keep going to one or two cafes that you like. Make friends with the owners (best if they are around your age, the owners). They have a lot of buds that come around and pretty soon you belong to the select group there . Course if you are a girl you need the right boyfriend and boy the right girlfriend or if you are gay the right S.O. Most people dont realize that the older you get the less time your buds have for you , because even if you lived in a small town. As people get older they usually get a S.O. and most of their time gets tied up with the S.O. And/or kids come along, etc. YOu cant forever be in tune even if u worked at that cafe all your life because as you age out of that college age group, you become less relevant to those who are still in college. So that life you spoke of , that had a short shelf life anyway.

Remember the old saying? No matter how good or bad yesterday was, its over. Tomorrow is not yet here, no matter how good or bad its supposed to be. All you have is today today. And today is important, its the memory you will have tomorrow. So go out there and make it worth remembering?

18

Some of my closest friends in Taiwan are moving on this year. It’s made me really restless. It’ll be hard to be without my gang.

I’m fine though, I have loads of stuff to do, and new people come along. I’m pretty sociable, I guess.

19

[quote=“Buttercup”]Some of my closest friends in Taiwan are moving on this year. It’s made me really restless. It’ll be hard to be without my gang.

I’m fine though, I have loads of stuff to do, and new people come along. I’m pretty sociable, I guess.[/quote]
I could be your friend. Can I? I’m much nicer than some other people and I have more than one shirt.

20

You already are my super bestest friend. the chief never talks to me anymore, though. Sniff.

I am not interested in boys’ shirts.