My aunt was just visiting me from S.F. California and she made some observations in the 5 days she came to Taipei on her way to Holland.
My current roommate is Taiwanese and she often comes home and changes the TV channel (to news AGHHH!) She rarely asks if I am watching. I often let it go. My aunt says she noticed my roomie did this twice. One time we were even making snacks for the 3 of us! She also noticed I’ll say bye or hi when leaving/coming in, but my roommate usually does not. Also how few people say excuse me (Chinese or English) on the MRT or how people don’t wait for others to get off the train before barreling in. Or how fewer open swinging doors for others, even females with full hands.
She also visited my adult class and saw 2 out of 3 students leave without saying anything. I told her that China is much worse and that I don’t notice anymore. Guess I’m used to it, but it’s probably a bad thing I just put up with. It seems that the average person does not really have basic social skills (Yes, by western standards- by world standards?). Maybe it’s the educational system, family? My aunt and I had a long conversation about this at a little coffee shop before she left. She loves folks with manners, not people from a 5 star charm school, just basic. She concluded that Taiwan is OK, but she couldn’t live here and just thinks the people are too, ahh hmm, “robotic” and should just learn to be social to one another if nothing else. She’s been to 6 Asian countries and was very surprised.
Dangergyrl,
I agree with your aunt, but as you know by now we learn how to take tests not be social. More people are giving up their seats on the MRt these days, but still not enough. Men and women don’t open doors for others. I think I did not learn this until I lived in The USA and traveled. We should learn how to be more social and be respectful. Taiwan has a long way to go. It embarrasses me. I hope one day people in Taiwan will learn these basic social skills, but up until now it’s still not good enough. Schools and families do not teach it.
Thats because Taiwan has a completely different set of social rules. For example, if your Aunt had said anything about your friend’s manners, that would be the height of rudeness in Taiwan.
I’m not disagreeing with your Aunt, but wait till she gets to Holland. The Dutch are probably the opposite of the Taiwanese. They’ll say exactly how they feel whether u like it or not. Um…is your Aunt Dutch?
I am Taiwanese and think her aunt was right. I have been to Holland for a week and found the Dutch to be very polite. She seemed to be talking about people having simple respect, like not turning the TV station without asking if someone is watching. People that leave a classroom and do not say goodbye to the teacher or things like that. We need to update our social rules as I find they show a lack of social skills, because we do not teach how to be courteous to others on a basic level here.
The fact is her aunt did not say anything to the roommate from what the post says. That shows more tact than the roommate.
I’ve spent hours and hours trying my best to educate students in rudimentary manners and the purpose for them. It seems many people actually don’t understand the reason for manners and adopt them once they realize what they’re for. It doesn’t always work with smaller kids though and I have all but given up on my kindergarten class lately after ten years now of trying to reverse engineer the little things after most of their parents have ignored certain principled education for too long before they go to school.
I don’t even know how to socialize with Taiwanese people anymore, because a LOT of them would never express any honest feeling toward you, and if they said something good I wondered if it was sincere. It totally confuses me because I really can’t tell if someone was sincere or not, Taiwanese people are really good at not expressing their true feelings toward you. I prefer honesty though even if sometime it seems blunt…
Dangergyrl, you’re lucky your aunt never took an elevator in Taiwan.
Before I came here, the concept of entering an elevator before those inside have left, was completely alien to me.
Also, I seem to be the only person on the MRT giving up my seat for pregnant women. When I see a pregnant woman on the platform ready to board, I already start gathering my stuff because I know nobody else will stand up.
Also, the word ‘xiexie’ (thank you) only seems to exist inside a dictionary here. Alright, I’ll give it to them, the kids inside those 7-11s and restaurants who scream ‘huanying guanglin’ (welcome) at the top of their voice when you enter, also say thank you.
When I go back to Europe on the occasional holiday, I have to catch myself that I still use common politespeak, or I will be seen as some rude punk.
Japanese are past masters at social engineering, but often are accused of putting on a false front. Taiwanese are usually less adept at this but are learning from the Japanese. TAiwanese people are able to handle each other generally, its the non-TAiwanese- vs- Taiwanese interchanges that cause misunderstanding and perplexity .
Two Taiwanese girls living together will be able to decide who handles the tv remote or could influence each other without coming to blows (for the most part). IN TAiwan, you gotta speak out or get pushed around.
I’m glad I don’t live in the same Taiwan you people do. And try the Paris Metro or the London tube if you really want to see rudeness elevated to an artform.
I have switched from saying De bu qi- ‘Sorry’ to saying Bao Chin(sp?)- ‘excuse me’.
It certainly opens some eyes. Especially when said loudly with a big grin…
IMO, its not so much they ‘they’ do not know or understand manners & civility, its that ‘they’ just don’t think there is anything to gain by using them(manners).
I’m surprised at the amount of direct contact you chaps have with the natives. I let my servants deal with most of these irritating day to day things.
Which reminds me: I shot my booze coolie last night (for bringing me warm beer), and i need a replacement. PM me if you know of any suitable candidates. Cheers.
I often make a point to give some poor sod trying to enter the flow of traffic from one of the side streets a “gap”. It does two things: number one – I get a friendly wave of xie xie (most of the time) and a almost suprised, if not shocked, smile; and number two – it stops me from swearing at the drone whose going to cut in in front of me anyway
Ah yes! It’s hard to shake the witchraft out of a booze wallah, but I’ve found it best to shoot one while the replacement is there as a witness.
The best methd is to place a warm six pack in the fridge interspersed with some coldies and have the two alternatee the delivery. Actually, because of their deep held superstitious poppycock the first will almost always grab the warm beer. Just before you despatch number one, explain to number two why this must happen, and usually the other forgets their primitive instincts rather instantly.
My current roommate is Taiwanese and she often comes home and changes the TV channel (to news AGHHH!) She rarely asks if I am watching. I often let it go. [/quote]
this is rude even by taiwanese standards. sounds like you simply getting pushed around, not some kind of strange taiwanese custom. she possibly pissed about some kind of monetary/control issue?
The Foreskin Crusader wrote: [quote]Ah yes! It’s hard to shake the witchraft out of a booze wallah, but I’ve found it best to shoot one while the replacement is there as a witness.
The best methd is to place a warm six pack in the fridge interspersed with some coldies and have the two alternatee the delivery. Actually, because of their deep held superstitious poppycock the first will almost always grab the warm beer. Just before you despatch number one, explain to number two why this must happen, and usually the other forgets their primitive instincts rather instantly. [/quote]
Ha. Bloody brilliant. :bravo: You opium merchants certainly have a knack for managing the locals.
Tempo Gain wrote:
[quote]
this is rude even by Taiwanese standards. sounds like you simply getting pushed around, not some kind of strange Taiwanese custom. she possibly pissed about some kind of monetary/control issue?[/quote]
yep, this is not some quirk of Taiwanese culture. The roommate is obviously sulking about something.
Which reminds me: I shot my booze coolie last night (for bringing me warm beer), and I need a replacement. PM me if you know of any suitable candidates. Cheers.[/quote]
Yeah, same here. I’ve spent hours and hours tyring my best to get students to stop calling me fat. I’ve given up, and am not trying another approach (dieting).
