I am married to a foreigner I met in Taiwan. From we got married to now we never spend a good month without fighting. As I am the victim almost all the time,
I’m considering to get a divorce but I want to where to start and what to do.
She has no respect for me, she slaps me, wounds me, take knife to stab me, break my cell phones many times, my two laptops, my iPad, she beats me in front of my friend, she calls me all kinds of names (pig, poor, stupid, dirty…) She threats me several times, I recorded part of the conversation when she threat me on cutting my private part off. She called police on me many times so did I. She destroys all my expensive clothes. She’ll post what is happening in our marriage life on social media, send pictures and messages to my friends. No one in my family can talk to her, she behaves as if she doesn’t need me, I’m useless.
Please help me as you can. Thank you
Move out. Stay away for some time. Then call a lawyer.
update to my case:
5 months after last court-hearing finally received the written verdict:
Botton line is I lost (as expected by others):
Social reports clearly says I am a good father, unexpected recommanding even more
social interaction time (visits etc) as normally etc …
However, child’s mother as the main care-taker is an “even better parent” due to money,
family-situation (racism cause me foreigner alone here).
Ex-wife making her point that arguments during marriage are the base of having the same
trouble regarding child-custody (bullshit, besides the last year worked out very well).
I can’t follow the reasoning and cant see any justice paragraph to take custody away from me,
in my opinion purely an emotinonal verdict. (Judge was a woman, but does that matter ?)
I am going to appeal - so I do wonder if someone could help me out, what to expect now in the
“2nd round” ?
Are we going back to “mediation-talks” ?
Are we likely to meet in court again or will the appeal will be usually handled in absent ?
Do i need a lawyer for the appeal (is a lawayer a definite must?)
Would it be a good idea to ask for a male judge ? (personally I think that is a rather silly idea)
What kind of time-frame can I expect ?
Regarding child-custody-matters, how many appeals are possible ? (a third, maybe even higher ?)
PS:
I said from the beginning, that I would obey te TW local law here as long as it sounds reasonable.
But clearly not !!
Based on a first translation I received it has been also mentioned, that girls belong to mothers and
boys to fathers (what the fuck … where do I live ?)
Please help with informations …
Your best bet is to stop the court stuff and instead work showly and patiently on building a good relationship with your former wife.
You will lose again if you try to appeal, and you will only dig the trenches deeper.
good advice, Mr He.
and has any one heard any more from our first-poster, Alpha1 (a few posts above, top of page)?
Thank you for the quick responses:
Unfortunately there is no path for this solution. Ex-wife has zero interest to deal with me anymore.
I thought “things” were easing off a bit during last year, but hell no.
Example: She always sends grandmother for children “pick-up and drop-off”.
Almost no response to my friendly inquiries, either verbal or written.
You are too impatient. Good things come to those who wait.
Dragging it into court sours things in a huge way.
My suggestion is to pay child support and keep a low profile. Do not - repeat not - show too much interest in contact. She knows that your child is a huge weapon, if you negate that by ensuring that you do not seem overly eager, you will see the situation change.
If you just have a little contact with the child, then cherish that, and wait for it to increase over time. If you play your cards well, it will.
Going to court again will be a losing game, really. You will lose in court, spend a lot of money and make the relationship even worse.
Only fight when you can win, idiots fight when they know they will lose.
The OP doesn´t seem impatient at all, this whole thing has been going on for months, he (at least from what he told us) has kept calm and tried to make peace with his wife and her family.
Sometimes there is just no happy ending, at least until the children grow up go to find their missing parent when they are older. You can do all of the correct things such as sending the money regularly, continuing to try to make peace with the mother, and I know because this is what I have done, but at the end of the day if she doesn´t want peace and cares little about what is really best for the child i.e. having contact with both parents, then there is nothing you can do.
Some people are just like that, period. I have seen it happen with friends, and recently with a friend here in Spain.
I would rather give the OP sympathy rather than judgement. But I do agree that going back to court will certainly not make things any better, particularly as you are a foreigner.
OP I hope all goes well for you. At least you still have some contact with your child, so cherish that, and I hope that you can come back in the future with some better news.
Come on, the ex is sending the kuds over, it seems. Be a good father your way and things will settle down. It might take time.
My former wife tries at times to keep kids away from me. Do you know who complains about not seeing me if it has been too long? Her son. She can give me the brush, but not him, if he complains toi much. Create that by beeing a good father when you have the chance.
I’ll gave an update. That’s it - I won’t comment anymore.
Would be great if someone could give me an answer to questions I wrote in my post.
Thnak you.
Had my “appeal-hearing” today.
I expected the new judge was prepared for my case, so we could discussed
about my appeal-reasons, but hell no, we started by absolute “0” again …
Got started with the question, what I want (reminder, joint-custody “only”).
Why I don’t like giving ex-wife sole custody, which I refused to answer as that
question itsself is kind of illogical and me had covered this area extensive.
Then she asked ex-wife about ex-wife reasoning and she digged out more
trashtalking taking up the entire hearing time and me once again defending
each of her points.
Useless, as she also provided the same topics on written form - so basically I just
think it was today a complete waste of time.
Question:
Is it normal that a judge doesn’t prepare, doesn’t pre-read the court file for an appeal
of a previous verdict ? Is it common to start all over again ?
[quote=“MoTi”]Question:
Is it normal that a judge doesn’t prepare, doesn’t pre-read the court file for an appeal
of a previous verdict ? Is it common to start all over again ?[/quote]
Yes, completely standard.
update:
read the report of the 2nd family-investigator. Basically it is an objective summary of both my
ex-wife and my interviews with her and she doesn’t suggest anything (ok for me).
Surprisingly my child got interviewed as well. She is 4 1/2 years old, so I do wonder whether that
is a normal thing to do here in Taiwan ?
My daughter’s “statements” are sealed, and as a parent, who currently still holds shared-custody
I find that situation kind of un-acceptable.
It would be ok, if my child would have that interview alone with “someone from the court”
(so her statements would be off-limit for my ex-wife as well), but at her age I think she would
“freak-out” being alone in a room with a stranger.
I am afraid my ex-wife once again “brain-washed” my daughter leaving me in an unfavorable position.
Going to the court tomorrow to find out the details and maybe complaining …
Update:
I (Moti) have won the appeal. Well, technically won, because the verdict says
that ex-wife has to pay for the court fees.
Ex-wife is the main child caretaker (daughter living with her), in certain
area she holds sole custody, which means she decides and I have no right
to interfere in any way.
Namely for household-regristration, schooling (until senior high-school),
outside-schooling (art, language, sport), bank-accounts, passport, potential social benefits (as a single mother), 住院, 醫療 (unclear whether that includes operation,
tatoo, anti-baby-pill etc.)
The rest (whatever that might be) falls under shared / joined custody, and in case
parents can’t agree on whatever, the final decision will be dealt with in the court.
Visiting time and additional time (eg vacation) is normal procedure according to Taiwan law.
I have to say, that I took quite “harsh” measures during the 9 months since I appealed as I refused to see my daughter the entire time unless justice “came” in.
Such behavior might be highly questionable and I never thought originally that it would take that much of time, especially I was told that appeal cases were proceeded with kind of priority.
Anyway, I hope this verdict and my case number would be very beneficial for other foreigners being in a similar situation - so if time comes, I will make my case public.
Thanks for the update. 
So you are happy with the outcome, or were you appealing to try and get full joint-custody? Not seeing your kid for 9 months is a tough route though. Not criticizing, I don’t know your situation and you do what you think is right to get the best long-term outcome.
So how much time do you get with your daughter now, is there an allocation per month. Is she allowed to stay over on weekends?
I think it is a weird verdict. A lawyer read it and he finds it unusual too.
In my country it would be either full shared custody (with the main child caretaker
responsible and alone deciding for 90% of the child’s usual daily life) or sole custody.
For me this outcome could easily have been achieved with mediation-talks (as “my offers” indeed were very generous, but ex-wife had refused everything).
I don’t like to court approach to split the custody according to the situation, but I have to admit that “technically” the outcome is more or less the same.
The child is living with the mother on her household-regristration. No problem (and as far as I know foreigners can’t get a HuKou themselves, so what …)
The elementary and junior high school is defined bu the Hukou. Starting senior High School or College I have custody right and I hope (in case of disagreement) my daughter will have then the final word.
AnXin und BuXiBan. Well, this belongs to the child’s private life and belongs to sole custody. I wished otherwise, but the court ruled against me.
Kindergarten (1.5 years left) is completely off my radar - I am not even allowed to show up there. Ex-wife just cooperate with them, even I have nothing really done terrible. Kindergarten just threatenend to kick out my child out of their program, so yeah, very nice blackmailing …
Applying for bank-account and passport. Previously that was a big part for my ex-wife and nothing actually for me as I offered notary statement etc. Court brought this up countless times too …
Easy result now, ex-wife just present the verdict and this would be a no-brainer.
Similar to applying for social (welfare) benefits (as a single mother) - I never fought against that (why should I) - but the system said impossible with shared-custody.
Again, with this unique verdict … no problem.
Insurance policy for the child. We both can do, but we each other have to inform each other who the benefician person is.
I never understood that rule until a tw friend told me, that is compulsory in case a parent would “kill” his/her child (such cases apparently happened before …)
I have however a major problem with the “medical field” as apparently (according to today’s lawyer) I cant do anything by myself - technically I am not even allowed to bring my daughter to a clinic and in case of a mishapp I would then be even liable according to the law.
Ok, that is highly theoretical, but it bother’s me a lot. For example my daughter might have a normal scheduled operation, my opinion about alternative approach is just useless, ex-wife controls everything.
On the other side I have bi-weekly visting rights (full weekend - but I am the loser regarding a potential 5th weekend (me always 1st and 3rd).
Plus I have 1 weekday additonal time after kindergarten (pick-up not allowed straight from the kindergarten) from 5 to 8 pm (This rule is restricted until schooling starts).
7 days winter and 20 days summer vacation and equal share of public vacations.
I have free und unlimited phone, skype access - but well, those are just words as the court describes them to be suitable for the child, which … well would be up to ex-wife and her family.
After all, the appeal verdict is a better outcome than the original verdict (where I had no custody rights at all and only a bi-weekly full weekend visiting-right.
Nevertheless I still would love to appeal and bring my case to the “High-Court” - but the chance of acceptance is pretty low (heard that from multiple-source) and the “High-Court” requires a compulsory lawyer-representation - which I honestly don’t have the funding for - therefor I will end this personal nightmare here.
I need to move forward and getting together with my child again - and I truly hope me and ex-wife could finally find together and both being good and responsible parents (which I certainly wasn’t during the appeal)
sorry to hear that you are going through this. Hopefully you can find some peace and look to the future with your daughter.
I’m seeking a divorce with my wife who has a Taiwan passport (hence considered taiwanese national) but is living in the Philippines as an alien with ACR (alien certificate of residency). her mother and brother both live in taiwan and have household registration however.
We already have an agreement/settlement so this will be considered a uncontested.divorce process. There are no divorce in the Philippines so our only option is to file it in Taiwan. problem is she doesn’t have a household registration…
question: given she doesn’t have household registration, is there anyway we can get a divorce in taiwan? would her mother or brother’s household registration be of any help in this case?
I’m currently going through a really rough patch in my marriage. I am Canadian and my wife is Taiwanese, currently I’m living with her family and have an ARC through marriage. We were married in Taiwan and jointly file taxes here.
She has gotten quite the temper recently and is constantly on me about something, she yelled at me a few days ago because I apparently didn’t use washing machine properly (she told me what buttons to press, my Chinese is lacking) and today yelled at me for 10mins because I apparently didn’t put songs on her iPod (there’s much more).
Can anyone provide some info or feedback on what divorce is like in Taiwan, I’m in Taipei. My wife is threatening to kick me out of the country or lie to police that I raped her to get me arrested, obviously I didn’t but she’s making these things up to threaten me.
Thanks for any advice or information