Some answers about divorce in Taiwan

If both you and your wife regret having gotten married, then is there any reason why you can’t just agree to get divorced? Or is there some other reason she’s frustrated? Try to sit her down and talk with her–really talk, find out what she wants, what would make her happy. That would be helpful regardless of what the two of you decide to do.

1 Like

:microphone: :record_button:

1 Like

Right. So what are her demands? What does she want? A divorce? If it were me, I’d be inclined to give it to her. Something else…?

i would be the one divorcing her, no ifs or buts about it. shes gone power hungry.

I wouldn’t worry much about her threats. Without any kind of concrete evidence, the police will just ignore her. They deal with this kind of shit all the time. If she’s the one who wants a divorce, you’re basically in the drivers seat. The divorce will only happen if you agree to it, so you’re the one who can make demands, not her.

Now’s the time to start thinking about an APRC if you want to stay in Taiwan. If you haven’t reached the five-year requirement for the APRC, that should be your first and primary demand–no divorce until you have your APRC in hand.

1 Like

I’m the one who is considering divorce, she is threatening to deport me or send the police after me if I divorce. She once called immigration to cancel my marriage act.

If I make one small mistake she’ll yell for nearly saying I’m am idiot, useless etc. If I try to talk about divorce she’ll yell and make that’s. I want get information and prepare for divorce.

What does your lawyer say?

If you’re still there:

You appear to be dealing with a genuine psycho xiaojie here. However, she’s treating you like this because you allow her to. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to be objective about what’s happening. When you finally realise, you think, damn, wtf was I thinking?

Next time she starts off on a rant, just leave the room (or the building). Don’t bother arguing. If she blocks the door, face her down and tell her as calmly as possible to stop the shit. Again, don’t bother arguing: just make it quite clear you’re not going to listen to another rant. If she gets violent, you’ll have to extricate yourself as best you can (ie., leave) without excessive force. Then go and do something you enjoy, by yourself, to get yourself centered again - go for a coffee or something. The key here is to stop rewarding her for bad behaviour, and keep doing it consistently until she stops.

Don’t leave for more than a day or two at a time because this could be construed as abandonment.

Oh, and as others have said, document whatever you can, in whatever way you can. Just pulling out a camera is likely to stop that nonsense in its tracks. She’ll get all offended - as if you’re the bad guy - but keep that camera rolling.

I wouldn’t worry too much about the threats. As Dr Milker said, you actually have all the power here, at least as far as divorce is concerned. Get that APRC sorted and the world is your preferred bivalve.

hi,i apply for my aprc,more than 2 months ago.im marrige taiwanese women for 5 years,but we are separate for 3years,but with a good relationship,just last year.cos ihave a new relationship,she just doesnt want to help me or talk to me.
so imigration come over to my new house,and checked my room and asked many questions,even ask me to let them see my phone,is this legal-

so my question is ,can i have any legal problems_
or would they give my the aprc after know that we are separate and dotn live toegther for 3years,and im waiting her letter for divorce.

any help,thanks

If they know you’re not living together anymore and don’t have any formal marital relationship, I can’t imagine any instance where they’d still grant the APRC based on marriage. The application shouldn’t take 2 months so if that’s where you’re at, I’d say it doesn’t look promising. But what do I know? You could ask them the status.

When they come over and talk to you, they don’t necessarily have any rights. Not to come into your house, check your phone - none of it. But they do have the right to decline your application for an APRC… so there’s that.

Just for what it’s worth, an APRC isn’t granted “based on marriage”; it’s granted based on the applicant fulfilling a certain residency requirement. They can ask all these questions and it will unfortunately determine the outcome of your application but strictly speaking it’s none of their business.

In the case where one is living apart from one’s spouse the smart thing to do is to let the immigration people know and tell them it’s temporary and you hope things will be resolved soon (they can think what they like about the ideal resolution to your situation). It will help to make a lame comment along the lines of how tough marriage is haha, etc.

Seriously, I was separated from my (now ex) spouse when I applied and I just told the guy we’d been arguing over my job (in a different city to her family) and stuff and I just wanted things to go back to normal.

Reboot? A lot of this stuff is old, yet the topic unfortunately never seems to fade. I’m i the shit right now. I’m American, she’s Taiwanese, we’re older, we have no kids. We have some shared purchases of mentionable value, but no real estate or vehicles–nothing big. So, here you’ve got a situation where money is not a big thing. Emotions have been, but they’ve been effectively stomped by my Taiwanese wife. I need escape, other than suicide.
Divorce is a foregone conclusion at this point–on my side because I couldn’t possibly trust her any more in any sense–because finances are a major problem due to my own life difficulties and now to her addiction to online shopping. Money should not be an issue in a healthy relationship, but it is, and it isn’t. I am not “the good guy” here, I am just a guy: we both have our downsides. I must make it clear that I am not a cheater, and I am not a beater. I’d end myself before becoming either. She is not a “beater,” either: she is entirely non-physically violent, and I have no evidence whatsoever of infidelity. She is, however, a proven liar and emotionally abusive.

Any quasi-legal advive?

U can
1work our your marriage
2get a divorce agreement
3end up suing each other in the court(last resort)

Best of luck

Ouch. Ideally you just need to extricate yourself from the situation by whatever means. The longer you remain in it the more powerless and demotivated you are likely to become. The problem you have is that, while abandonment is not a crime, the law condemns you to living half a life with its bizarre stance on adultery, which is a criminal offence. She can string that out for as long as she, herself, is content to remain single and celibate.

On the other hand, she may well eventually get sick of being half-married and approach you for an uncontested divorce. Basically, you’re stuck in a slow-motion game of chicken.

1 Like

My pal’s hubby decided to nick and dime my friend…even though she is the main provider for the household. He has started taking notes on what she eats and what she buys for teh house or herself, and tells her to keep that money separate as “he is not giving her any”…which is ridiculous, as said. He has poisoned the kids minds, telling them not to share anything with Mom. Kids are already traumatized because they are bullied at school for having a foreign wife. So was the hubby, because she is pretty, so his coworkers asked him what agency did he bought her from.

Unless you can convince her that a divorce is in both your interests, the easiest solution may just be to disappear. At least you don’t have kids and property to deal with. You may want to consider moving to another city…or country.

If you want the divorce so you can make a clean break, you’ll have to start documenting the emotional abuse as best you can. This will be hard to prove in court, so you’ll need a preponderance of evidence. Just start recording her every time she becomes abusive.

Clearly, I was not “clear” in the declaration of my status. The fault is mine. There are indeed abandonment issues, if we’re talking physical relationship here, but the “abandonment” is from my side, for reasons not relevant here. (No, I am not gay…) The only possible reasons for me to go to court here would be for me to maintain a place to stay, or (not at all in my plans) sue for monetary recompense based on emotional abuse as a reason for ending the marriage. Hey, guys, I just want out, but I don’t want to end up sleeping on the beach. The house was purchased for her by her mother, and I’m 99% sure its in her name so her mother can avoid taxes on the asset. Do I have any legal standing/claimant rights here, I wonder? Getting a settlement that included a portion of the value of our home would certainly make life afterwards a lot more livable.

Like your name.
A divorce would be a whit to achieve: she’s already signed and demands several times a week for me to do the same. The problem is I have nowhere to go once I do so and she kicks me out of the house her mother purchased for her.
I appreciate your recommendation to document the emotional abuse, and will strongly consider doing so, but I doubt it would do me any benefit, and having such a record would certainly do me more emotional damage, moreso than the possibility of suing for damages.
I truly appreciate your reply, and am keen on any other observations you may offer.

What some call extortion, others call “a fair divorce settlement.” Tell her that you will sign in return for some financial stability and housing.

Tell her “I’m not greedy, but I don’t have anywhere to live. Help me get started in my new post-divorce life. I will sign the papers as soon as the money is deposited in my separate bank account.”

1 Like

If you got any right to the house would depend on if it was purchased prior to getting married or not, and if it was purchased after you got married on whatever the intent of the mother when it was gifted. But, this is in practice I would presume of little importance.

Quick question, does your wife have cash at hand she could pay you, or would she need to remortgage the house/sell it to cash you out ?

Either way, your best bet is to just insist on Getting paid in return for signing the papers, nothing more you can really do.