Somebody explain this situation to me

Long-winded story is no longer relevant to this thread.

This is still a decent thread about advice for dealing with strangers in Taiwan.

Wow! Interesting story.

I wouldn’t be in a hurry to contact him, if I were you, though I suspect it might all have been done in complete innocence.

Better safe than sorry though.

Abnormal behavior. Even if innocent, I do not know any taiwanese woman/girl who would allow this to have occurred.

Agree with Tigerman. He was way out of line. I’m surprised you let him do this.

Sounds like he wanted to see how Caucasian/white (I assume you are?) women react to his offer of a massage? It’s extremely odd that happened. But he didn’t make advances at you. Did he give you a name card at the end, like call me if you like this trial massage? Maybe he is a practicing masseuse? Next time, don’t be so naive! He may look nice and innocent enough, but you never know and he could hurt you if he doesn’t know what he’s doing!

I think you have a very interesting “Almost got raped” story there Violet.

Wise up.

Don’t call.

Very strange. Even though he didn’t go further, that much physical contact with a stranger is not part of the social norm here. My advice would be not to contact him again, just to err on the side of caution.

No, this is quit normal.:laughing:
No harm done and without ulterior motives, helpful even.
That’s the way some people in Taiwan are.

Not all is bad here.:wink:

Maybe a little naive. :slight_smile:

Thanks to the nice person who pm’d me and told me to ignore JD Smith because he “does this to everybody.”

[quote=“violet”]Thanks everyone.

In any case, I’m home safe, and that knot in my shoulder that’s been bothering me for the past three days is gone, and I now I have another story about what it’s like to be clueless in a new culture to tell the folks back home.

Don’t you think it’s a little bit funny?[/quote]

Knot gone

Lesson Learned?
Hope so.

Try bizarre.

And though it may have been impossible to drag you off, it would have been more than possible to slit your throat and escape. There are some real nutballs walking around parks, and they all don’t look homeless.

I for one, would never let a stranger put his/her hands on me in a situation such as you described…cultural mores be damned.

Glad you’re ok. :slight_smile:

u got a free message, u should be posting dis in da hot dealz section if there was one.

There are some nice ppl here, when i got off da bus from CKS airport to Taipei Main station some dude gave me a free pack of gum, cause he noticed on da bus i was a foreigner snapping pics on da ride downtown.


I don’t think anyone is scolding you. Just responding in a concerned manner. You did, after all, ask what we thought of the situation.

I think we’re all happy that nothing bad came of the situation.

Anyway, most nuttballs wear blue plastic slippers and have red stained teeth.
Drive a crapy scoot, are tattood and won’t massage you.
Mostly they yell “hello, how are you” from a distance. :smiling_imp:

No offense taken.

Anyway, I have another question. What is the tolerance for strage men touching women in Taiwan? I know this particular situation was bizarre, but how does the typical TW woman react if a man she has only recently met, say…

Pats her on the arm during a conversation to make a point?

Puts a hand on her back or arm to alert her of a car coming while they are crossing the street? (you know this gesture, it’s usually not necessary, the kind of thing that is caring if a friend does it but a little odd if a strange man does it)

Pulls a stray hair or fuzzball off the arm of her sweater?

And more importantly, how strongly does a TW woman react? (Because I want to act roughly the same way) Do I reactly strongly, as in “Don’t touch me!”, or just say “no” with a disapproving look on my face, or, as was the norm in Japan, use the excuse “I’m shy” so the man doesn’t feel bad and lose face.

Thanks everyone.

I guess it’s about the place where you are at that moment.

Park=open=public=everybody can see you, daylight no bad things can happen.

A park in Taiwan and China is a strange place actually … people meet, are happy, do things, things are going on in a park you never assume possible in the west … etc…

As I said before, a little naivity is involved here too.

I’m going to side with belgian pie here: this guy was genuinely nice, and probably honestly didn’t know how to act towards a foreign person/woman.

There are many generous, hospitable and kind people here in Taiwan, many more per capita than where I’m from (west coast Canada).

I think it was honest kindness. However, having said that, I’d like to encourage violet to keep her BS detectors / spidey sense on full for her stay here. Don’t get too comfortable, as there are also lots of weirdos. I think you did all the right things though, and I wouldn’t be calling him back, either.

Edited for personal safety.

That’s what parks are for in Taiwan, free lessons, free massage, free dancing … free … free … free :laughing:

Sometimes I get a free rub massage from lady friends even when my wife is around :slight_smile:

At the other hand, wow, I didn’t know the world could be that bad :frowning:

It’s not an easy question to answer, since attitudes about physical contact have changed so dramatically over the last decade. Some years ago here, holding hands meant something, and you’d RARELY see people kiss in public. Fastforward to 2005, and just the other day I saw a young woman with her arms around her beau’s neck. That may not seem a big deal to people who come from places where seeing someone with a tongue down someone else’s throat is common, but here it’s a fairly new phenomenon.

Now, in general in Taiwan, since it’s such a crowded place, people get much closer to each other in casual settings than they do in most Western countries. There’s a different sense of physical space. I’ve found that applies to both men and women. Others may have different experiences, and maybe I don’t give off any creepy vibes, but women idle up to me regulalry (and visa versa) without nervousness on anyone’s part. Nothing’s implied or assumed, either.

About the massage thing, I’d say that’s extremely uncommon, and I don’t think many Taiwanese women would allow that. It’s not possible to know what was in that man’s head, but in general, when a man is interested in a woman (in any country), it starts with small tests of physical contact to see how far one can go. That doesn’t mean you should interpret all physical contact from men here in that way, but I would certainly think twice (or three times) about someone who gave you a lengthy massage (albeit in public).

In terms of the amt of physical contact you can expect from people here, I’d say some, but not too much. It’s perfectly fine to grab someone to keep them out of traffic. Nudging people on the arm or shoulder is also OK There are certainly some people who are adverse to all forms of contact, but you’re going to get that anywhere. Basically, you don’t need to have a “hands off” policy here. Nor should you assume your friends want to be hugged and kissed when saying hello and goodbye (though you do see hugging quite a bit amongst Taiwanese women). But again, with the way things are changing here, and the wide multiplicity of character types and attitudes, it’s very difficult to generalize except in very broad terms. And you’ll find huge differences between people of different generations - a generation in Taiwan being 5-10 years long! :wink:

I experienced another trend in Taiwan and that’s that someones personal space is quite somewhat smaller than in the west.
Often when I walk with man friend/aquaintance on the street they mostly seem to come very close and even put their rams around my back and shoulder without, I know, being the gay type. It’s a normal behaviour I noticed alover Asia, or a big part of Asia.:slight_smile:

This is even something that gay friends in Belgium wouldn’t do with me.:wink: