[quote=“violet”]No offense taken.
Anyway, I have another question. What is the tolerance for strage men touching women in Taiwan? I know this particular situation was bizarre, but how does the typical TW woman react if a man she has only recently met, say…
Pats her on the arm during a conversation to make a point?
Puts a hand on her back or arm to alert her of a car coming while they are crossing the street? (you know this gesture, it’s usually not necessary, the kind of thing that is caring if a friend does it but a little odd if a strange man does it)
Pulls a stray hair or fuzzball off the arm of her sweater?
And more importantly, how strongly does a TW woman react? (Because I want to act roughly the same way) Do I reactly strongly, as in “Don’t touch me!”, or just say “no” with a disapproving look on my face, or, as was the norm in Japan, use the excuse “I’m shy” so the man doesn’t feel bad and lose face.
Thanks everyone.[/quote]
Pat on the arm is usually ok. Warning someone with a tug that a car is coming is fine. No one pulls hairs or fuzzballs off shirts unless they’re close or intimate. A Taiwanese woman will usually react by moving away far enough so the person can’t touch them again. Subtly, of course. Providing that the guy wasn’t deliberately trying to make you uncomfortable. If he seems to have pervy intentions, then just tell him, “Would you mind not doing that, it makes me uncomfortable”.
Some guys do the shoulder-squeezing thing, and I find that kinda creepy, but they’re usually teachers or something, so I just ignore it.
Perhaps the man at the park wanted to get to know you better, but did not really know how. So he tried to be friendly in the best way he could. He tried to please you with a shoulder rub because you looked tense. It’s probably just a friendly gesture.
However, although there is almost no concept of personal space on public transportation, affectionate physical contact between people who are not bf/gf is usually avoided.
Traditionally, Chinese people don’t hug or even shake hands when they meet. They wrap one hand around the other fist and wave it vertically a couple times. Parents don’t even hug/kiss their children much after they grow up. They love their kids but hardly ever say so. Most things are unspoken, and just known to be that way. So in general, I think, Taiwanese people are not very accustomed to affectionate touching, like hugs or kisses on cheeks.
However, boys will sometimes have their arms wrapped around other boys’ shoulders when they walk. It’s a sign of, “hey you’re my buddy”.
Girls will hold other girls’ hands, and this is not because they are lesbian. It just seems to be a habit for them. I used to find it strange, but I guess they just need somewhere to put the hand that’s not holding the purse?
In general, Taiwanese don’t tend to be physically affectionate, not even with their family. BF/GF can be touchy-feely, but after marriage it seems lots of people lose interest in touching.
I personally feel kind of surprised and uncomfortable when hugged by strangers or acquaintances. But that’s due to my upbringing I guess.
The above is my personal generalization of Taiwanese people. There are plenty of physically affectionate Taiwanese people too. It’s just that they are considered to be more “westernized”. I do think most Taiwanese refrain from unneeded physical contact.
I’m even highly uncomfortable when I have to hug my mom, for chrissake!
but instinctively i would suggest not to take the risk again.
And I mean woman or man. I just gotta be in control there I suppose.