[quote=“Zla’od”]One question: you say she hears voices. What do the voices say?
[/quote]
“What did you say? Don’t ask C. She doesn’t know!” (in Hokkien dialect). “Hey, that’s not me, that’s the spirit talking just now!”, C interrupted in English. I was startled, so I didn’t get to hear the rest. After that, she refused to let me hear more of it.
Among other stuffs, one spirit told her that my aunt or my late aunt forbade me from contacting her, which wasn’t true.
Since the first contact after her coma, she told me that something bad happened to her, and she would tell me more about it when we meet. [It’s either she flies home (which is not possible with her monthly allowance since she’s jobless now) or I fly over.] The above revelation was during our recent talk.
Btw, she said she knows what to do with the counselling. I will follow up with her later.
Okay, from the above, she doesn’t seem to be saying anything really alarming (like threatening suicide), but neither is it very exalted and spiritual. It strikes me as gossippy and manipulative. (In light of her family situation, this would be understandable as a coping mechanism.)
Does she belong to a social context (e.g. a religion) in which this sort of behavior has a recognized role? For example, I understand that many spirit mediums here go through experiences like this. Apparently the spirits will not let the person alone, until he or she agrees to become a medium. (I’m not saying that I believe in such spirits, only that this is the kind of story that mediums and their followers tell. We could just as easily interpret it as a kind of performance by the medium.) Do you think this could be what she is doing?
I’m selling graveyard dirt-$1000NT per bottle not from a grave. $1500 from a specific grave and brick dust at $250 a bottle. (Got to get the bricks from a grave or graveyard) That’s some good down home Southern (USA) Hoodoo juju. People say it’ll fix anything. I haven’t set up my website or paypal account yet but your friend can PM me.
Why do you agree with Chris if you think spirits exist? :eh:[/quote]
Hi Gao Bohan,
I agree with Chris on his outlined concept for scam, which many fake mediums use to bait their potential victims. The fact is spirits exist from what’s been reported in the media and shown in TV documentaries.
I don’t know what to make of until I see her. Maybe she did not want to alarm me with more details over the phone or email. She’s just a normal Buddhist, who believes in spirits and mediums. It’s possible that the spirits want her to be the medium.
Thanks for sharing this information about your friend with us. Ultimately, it raises the question of whether we accept the existence of a spiritual realm and beings or not.
As something unseen, it is easy to deny – even ridicule. If we accept its existence, or the possibility, though, then we should cautiously investigate what we are dealing with here.
Investigation is not helped by the large amount of scams and other money making schemes, such as spiritual readings and so on. Neither should we forget your firend could indeed be suffering from a medical condition.
Nonetheless, my opinion is that I have experienced, observed, and heard about a great deal of similar circumstances - too many to discredit or deny its existence.
My own investigations led me to numerous scriptures in the Bible that offer counsel here: most notably, in Deuteronomy 18:10 – 12.
We can see that if your friend were to seek such services, her problems will only be compounded. It is also evident from the scriptures that your friend, by how you describe her condition to be, is probably not possessed – like we imagine. It is more likely she is being “bothered”.
Seeking mediums and the like will not help.
You are welcome to pm me if you want to continue this.
I have actually advise her earlier to seek counselling with the Community Service Centre, as suggested in the Women’s Forum. Unfortunately, she said she had no means to pay for consultancy. (By the way, she’s a Buddhist.)
When I finally got to skype her a few times recently, she seemed to be bogged down by more pressing issues at home. She offered to pay off her husband’s credit card debts, and on top of this, there’s one month’s housing loan installment still outstanding. She’s worried about foreclosure on her condo. [The banks here will initiate legal action for three months’ outstanding installments. Is it the same in Taiwan?]
Even through the blurry image on skype, she looked blank, and her mind wandered far off when I talked to her. [In the past, we used to talk over the phone for one hour or so, and it always boiled down to one thing: her personal issues with her husband and in-laws, particularly her mother in-law.] At times, she’s not in the mood to chat, so I try to engage small talks with her six year old daughter. Due to my limited command of Mandarin, I could not ask much about her mother when she’s within earshot.
When her cousin J and aunt intend to visit her (after I told J about her depression), she told them to do later. She said the same thing when I asked whether I could visit her.
She cannot reconcile with the fact that she encounters bad luck/incidences when she’s nice to people.
The only thing I can do is pray for her and her family, and skype her when she feels like chatting. Apart from these, I appreciate any suggestion to help her from here?
If spirits can be shown to exist, that would be a major scientific discovery. Gather the evidence, run some tests and get your paper published in a major scientific journal… you’d be rich and famous.
“I know it’s true, oh so true, cause I saw it on TV” - John Fogerty
Let me recommend a few books:
The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark - Carl Sagan How We Believe: Science, Skepticism and the Search for God - Michael Shermer 50 Popular Beliefs That People Think Are True - Guy P. Harrison
And figure out how to put them to work. That would probably end suicide.[/quote]
Spirits do exist. They are sold in 7eleven. Commonly known as whiskey or cognac. The goods ones are more expensive. Don’t see how they end suicide. It rather encourages suicide. It’s not a scientific discovery. If anyone can proof that any god exists, this forum would be changed to science and spirituality. How boring would that be?
I believe that spirits exist, but from what you’ve said I don’t think your friend is possessed. I’m willing to bet all my chips that it’s a coping mechanism. (She may very well be hearing two spirits talking, but that doesn’t mean she HAS to pay attention to them. It’s her choice.)
Honestly, she needs to squirrel away some cash every month and then leave the husband. The husband is supposed to support her, and from what you say he sounds borderline emotionally abusive.
A chat with a temple exorcist couldn’t HURT in this case though. A real one, who’s not going to do an exorcism if she’s not possessed, but who is wise enough to see the benefit in making her believe the exorcism was successful. I know of two (possibly three)… but they’re in Tainan (and one might be dead, but that should be easy enough to find out).
As an aside, you’re not supposed to get anything good from being nice. You’re supposed to be nice because you WANT to be nice. If you’re being nice because you want someone else to do something for you you’re actually being selfish (i.e. I’ll only scratch your back if you scratch mine), which isn’t very nice at all.
Thanks to all the contributors for the humor/sarcasm on spirits - alcoholic drinks!
No one will understand her helplessness until one walks in her shoes.
On a serious note:
I agree with what you posted, Tsukinodeynatsu! Can you help to find out any temple exorcist in Taoyuan? [I don’t know how to google in Mandarin.]
She had contemplated on divorce for the last two years. The thought of being separated from her two girls held her back, since she could only afford to take her elderly dad with her.
[I suspect that her husband held on to her until he empties her savings. Her bank passbooks can disappear and surface a few months later with some money withdrawn. Are withdrawals possible with just the account holder’s rubber stamp without any personal identification in Taiwan?]
I could do some Tibetan Buddhist practices for you to help with spirit troubles… She might be just in need of psychiatry. It is important to know the precise cause of a certain illness and not be confused about that! Compassion is the basis in Buddhist practice for dealing with “spirits” who are also sentient beings like us but are trapped in the “bardo” or intermediate state without the physical support of a body.
Yes. The bank or post office will, of course, have a record of deposits and withdrawals, though this would not reveal the identity of the withdrawer.
If you really want an exorcist, and are having trouble finding one, I can ask around. (I assume you are looking for a Daoist exorcist; if not, please correct me.) But her spiritual problems seem to be reflections of her problems in this world.
Zla’od: Sorry, I don’t even know which Buddhist sect she belongs or prays to. Will appreciate if you can ask for one Daoist exorcist around in Taoyuan, and provide me the address, contact number and the approx fee charged.
I will be in Taiwan from June 9-21 with my aunt for a short holiday. So, I will see her at the end of our tour.
Sad to say that she’s gone crazy, and she kept on saying there’s so many husbands around - a different one each time. I consoled her that it didn’t matter which J he is, as long as someone is there for her until she is well.
Now, her main concern is money. Her husband is demanding from her the last of her FD to finance her eldest girl’s college for 6 more yrs. What about her younger girl’s education, who’s 10 years apart? She’s now 50 yrs old, who’s unable to keep any job. What if one day she’s left with no money, and ‘sleeps on the street’ - a Chinese phrase. [She has transferred her condo’s title over to her husband to prevent further liabilities, in case he used it as a collateral for loans without her knowledge.] She doesn’t know what to do, and she sleeps on it! Literally!
Months ago, I once talked to her husband over skype (at her insistence - to confirm whether he’s the same person I saw when the whole family visited Malaysia years ago), and he said her mental condition was serious resulting from her refusal to take her medication.
Will update her status after I visit her next month.
[quote=“tigerlily2011”]
[…] [She has transferred her condo’s title over to her husband to prevent further liabilities, in case he used it as a collateral for loans without her knowledge.] […][/quote]
This doesn’t makes sense. If the condo is in her name, her husband could not use it for collateral without her knowledge – he would require her consent and signature. If the condo is in his name, on the other hand, he can use it for collateral just as he pleases.
This is a very sad story. I hope she gets some help. It sounds like what she most needs is a family member making sure that she takes her medicine every day, and also a good psychiatric doctor to make sure that she is on the most appropriate medicine and dose. That, in most cases, is what makes all the difference in whether someone suffering from schizophrenic episodes – which seems to be the case here – is able to continue to function in society and live as satisfying as possible a life. I know this from experience as I’ve had three close relatives suffer from schizophrenia. One, an uncle, lived a happy and productive life because his wife was very supportive and made sure he stayed on his meds. The other two had a much rougher time of it because they would continually go off their medication.