Start a new thread I will

Matters in this forum not clear. Speak to this forum I must. Start a new thread I shall.

Wonder, I do, if the users of this forum can write like Yoda. Waste much time we shall! Yeeees!

Banned will you be if spam the forums you attempt. :wink:

Threaten me, do you? Judge my thread by its size, do you?

And well you should not.

Maoman seeks humor. Sarcasm he uses. The Force is strong in this one.

Speak of topical issues we can. Heavy issues will not florish–collapse under the force of satire they will. I will show you:

“American Foreign Policy, sucks it does. Yeees”

“The Force is weak at Papa Giovannis! Tip the waiter I shall not.”

“France they hate. Re-naming of food they do. Hmmmpf”

mmmmMMMMMmmmmm. The Dark Side strong in you is, yeeeesss. You must American foreign policy love, or Jedi you shall not become. Hmpfh.

Write like Yoda, I can. Yeeeees.
Yoda masterclass - Learn to speak like a Jedi master in 3 simple steps

Step 1)
Begin simply with the easiest step, mastering the accent. Whenever normal speech would otherwise occur, try to instead pronounce words using an accent that sounds like a hybrid of Welsh and Japanese. For true authenticity, and to help with getting into the true feeling, add a hum at either the beginning or end of sentences, often both. Ensure that this hum increases in pitch until it reaches a truly squeaky crescendo. At this point you should be producing sentences such as this: “Mmm, how are you this morning mmm? I hope you are good mmm.”

Step 2)
Now that you sound like a Jedi master, it’s time to start constructing sentences like one. The mind of a Jedi master is obviously so busy thinking about the force and stuff that it doesn’t have time to put words in the right order (proving almost conclusively that Shakespeare was a Jedi). Therefore in order to fully mimic Yoda you will have to learn to forget everything that our fascistic education system has brainwashed you into believing is the right way to speak. A good way to start is to simply move one or more words in a basic sentence, using the above example this would become: “Mmm, how are you this morning? Good I hope you are mmm.” When you become proficient in this first level treatment, try moving around more and more words until you end up with something that goes a little like this: “Mmm, morning this you are how? Good hope I you are mmm.”

Step 3)
Of course, by the time you reach this stage you are able to say pretty much anything in a yoda stylie, but to fully replicate the original feeling you have to follow the final rule. A Jedi never makes sense, no matter how simple their statements may be. Of course, should you have completed the previous stage then the likelihood of your producing a coherent sentence is about the same as Fred Durst becoming the sixth member of Westlife. However, this is not enough, and to be totally qualified as a pseudo-yoda you have to be as needlessly cryptic as you possibly can, even if you just want to ask for some toast or something. By this stage you should be saying stuff like: “Mmm, force is the you with how early now? Strong I hope flow the is, mmm.” Which obviously makes bugger all sense. If you reach this stage before your friends beat you to a pulp for talking bollocks, then congratulations! You are officially certified to have a member of Jim Hensons’ creature workshop put his hand up your arse.