Apologies if this should go in the living in Taiwan section,
But here’s the thing, I’ll be staying with my gf and her parents for awhile and am wondering what kind of gift would be appropriate to bring with me when I arrive. Her parents are quite traditional, 100% Taiwanese, and already not a big fan of her choice of a waiguoren. Any ideas to help acceptance??
Relatedly, I’m always at a loss as to what an appropriate or sensible gift is to give to anyone I stay with for short durations or otherwise feel indebted to here. There’s got to be some cultural norms out there I’m missing out on.
[quote=“Freakin’ Amazing”]Apologies if this should go in the living in Taiwan section,
But here’s the thing, I’ll be staying with my gf and her parents for awhile and am wondering what kind of gift would be appropriate to bring with me when I arrive. Her parents are quite traditional, 100% Taiwanese, and already not a big fan of her choice of a waiguoren. Any ideas to help acceptance??
Relatedly, I’m always at a loss as to what an appropriate or sensible gift is to give to anyone I stay with for short durations or otherwise feel indebted to here. There’s got to be some cultural norms out there I’m missing out on.
Thanks in advance [/quote]
Food from your home country won’t work at all. Appliances and knick-knacks are probably out, but check with your girlfriend. If you’re from Germany and got them a cuckoo clock that just might float their boat, who knows? A fairly inoffensive gift is a large coffee table book of photographs from your home country/region. It’s big, pretty, and they don’t need any kind of cultural background to understand it. If Dad drinks, get him some whisky, preferably in a ostentatious bottle that he can put proudly up on his living room shelf. Beyond this, ask your girlfriend. If she’s serious about you, she won’t let you make any major mistakes…
I agree with calling pops Mr., but call mom insertgf’ssurname here mama. i.e. If your gf is Amy Wu, call her mother Wu mama. It’s friendly, accurate, and a little more endearing than Wu Tai-tai.
[quote=“Maoman”]Food from your home country won’t work at all.[/quote]Interesting that. Do you mean for gifts in general, or just in this situation; a substantial gift needed for girlfriend’s family?
I’ve brought small gifts of Earl Grey tea and Devon fudge back for people before and they seemed to like them.
Interesting that. Do you mean for gifts in general, or just in this situation; a substantial gift needed for girlfriend’s family? I’ve brought small gifts of Earl Grey tea and Devon fudge back for people before and they seemed to like them.[/quote]
Candy and tea are probably ok, but if you start getting into anything more esoteric, a la local delicacy, you’d probably get met with polite smiles.
I still have a Taiwanese friend who thinks that some foreign friends who visited me here are wild about the crappy little pre-packaged pineapple cakes he bought for them at CKS airport, because they said how much they enjoyed them. In fact they had one and chucked the rest later, I believe. Can’t say I blame them - I hate pineapple “cakes” too…
I disagree. Bo-fu (for the Dad) and Bo-mu (for the Mum) would be the politest. Only Baba and Mama after you’re married.
Re gifts: I agree with anyone who said expensive looking boxes of brand-name liquor for the father, and something equivalent (expensive cosmetics) for the mother. The sort of stuff you buy in duty free. Something from home could be appropriate depending on where your’e from. Lanolin creme from NZ goes down a treat when I’m buying gifts.
I disagree. Bo-fu (for the Dad) and Bo-mu (for the Mum) would be the politest. Only Baba and Mama after you’re married.[/quote]
“Mama” by itself is definitely out. However, “surname-mama” is ok. (You’re not assuming any personal family connections when you say it - just that the tai-tai in question is the mother of your gf.)
Oh, but I actually do love those pineapple cakes! They’re my favourite of all the local cakes and sweet things that people give as gifts here – as long as they’re top quality. I’ve just been tucking into a box of them that was presented to me yesterday, and was not-too-seriously discussing with the wife that maybe we should try developing a market for them back in the UK as I’ve never seen them there and think they could prove quite popular with fellow Brits. Evidently, you wouldn’t think so!
Sweet, I was already thinking of getting some good ole’ Canadian Rye for the father, but I’m at a total loss for something for the mother, so I was thinking about something for both, but that didn’t get anywhere either…
I’ll have to ask the gf about the book idea, cheers
It’s strange, I’ve already stayed with them several times for several weeks just fine, but this time, when its going to be a good part of a year, my significant other is just harping on all the protocols and must do’s…
I’m amazed at my ineptitude for overlooking that classic… Mmm, but now that I think about it, is there any parallel to it in taiwanese cooking that they would be able to use it in place of?
Molasses use to popular as a spread for crackers when I was a kid.
I always thought Maple Syurp was a condiment for pancakes, eggs, french toast and any other bland breakfast treat. You can cook with it?
If you plan to stay with your gf for more than a week I would recommend slipping them some cash in a red envelop when you leave to cover food and what not. You can use the “This is some tea money” excuse. Remember to insist and fight that they accept, give to the family younger kids or pets if they don’t accept.
[quote=“ac_dropout”]Molasses use to popular as a spread for crackers when I was a kid.
I always thought Maple Syurp was a condiment for pancakes, eggs, french toast and any other bland breakfast treat. You can cook with it?[/quote]
While I know some ppl who do (cook with it), I was thinking more along the lines of would they cook anything that they could use the syrup on. They aren’t the pancake type ppl.
I’m pretty sure that if I gave my inlaws maple syrup it would sit on the shelf for a couple of years. They’d think it was too sweet, and never have anything to use it with.
I’ve tried to please his parents, but never seem to get it right…
I don’t eat too much and especially not mothers soup. All the presents my boyfriend and I have given them were not very much appreciated. They are very practical people and if the present isn’t, they will complain.
Last example, I killed one of mothers fish when trying to clean her way too small fish glass. She always forgets to clean it and everytime we go there, the fish seem to be almost dead. My boyfriends parents do not really care much about the fish. My last attempt in saving the fish ended with one down the sink. His mother said it didn’t matter. I on the other hand felt terrible, so a few days later we bought 4 new fish and a new, much bigger fish glass with one of these air pumps, so they don’t have to clean it anymore. What did mother say? “Oh,it’s so small. If I knew you would buy one I would have told you to buy a bigger one.”
There is this very appropriate saying in German: “Einem geschenkten Gaul, schaut man nicht ins Maul” (don’t look a gift horse in the mouth). But I guess there is no Chinese equivalent for it…
While I know some ppl who do (cook with it), I was thinking more along the lines of would they cook anything that they could use the syrup on. They aren’t the pancake type ppl.[/quote]
Maple syrup is great on vanilla ice cream.
[/quote]
) What was I thinking! 
I’m amazed at my ineptitude for overlooking that classic… Mmm, but now that I think about it, is there any parallel to it in taiwanese cooking that they would be able to use it in place of?
