My dad once told me that if you stop replying to people’s anger they eventually stop the anger or take it elsewhere.
I would like to suggest that if you come across a rant or someone who seems very angry then you ignore what they have said and simply don’t reply.
Pattern: Angry person posts something. 5 people reply. Angry person posts again. 5 people reply. Angry person feels validated and starts a new thread. And so on ad infinitum.
Ignore the anger, and watch it die an impotent death.
Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
It’s so much fun to watch. I really try not to poke the bear(s), but I click right on a thread where I see some people posting. It’s like watching a YouTube video where you see someone reaching for a hammer - you tink, “oh no, he’s not gonna…oh Christ…ah, right in the nuts!”. What does it say about me? Probably nothing good, but I can’t resist.
It would be less of a guilty pleasure if the poster wasn’t clearly in some deep inner pain, but there’s only so much screaming “get help” at them will do. It’s obviously an outlet of some kind, and absolutely shunning the bitter types may do more harm than good.
Deep down, most trolls know what they’re doing, and the attention, though negative, is preferable to being alone with themselves. And let’s be fair, occasionally the drivel contains just enough truth in it to resonate. It’s a sick sort of public service - I may have my gripes, but damn, I’m not THAT guy. Just as I’m entertained by the tremendous wit of alot of the posters here, I’m entertained by maladjusted ravings.
There are other boards where the uppity are quickly chided, and they’re not nearly as active.
I agree with Tom. I feel that old saying about “If you can’t help, at least don’t harm” applies here.
I’m not saying that everybody should be “nice” to each other all the time. Sometimes the best friends are the ones who tell us where we’re going wrong. Tough love and all that. But that has to be judged very carefully to have a positive effect. It really needs to come from someone the person trusts and has built up a good relationship with over a period of time. Over the Internet it’s very difficult.
I think sometimes our urge to intervene – to get in there and fix things – gets the better of us. It’s hard enough in any case to really have a positive effect on the way someone sees things. If they’re resistant to change it’s near impossible.
[quote=“merge”]It’s obviously an outlet of some kind, and absolutely shunning the bitter types may do more harm than good.[/quote]I don’t agree with absolute shunning either, and I don’t think that’s what Tom’s suggesting. I think there’s another option between completely ignoring someone and jumping in to try and save them. It might sound a bit hippyish but I think it helps in some way to maintain a belief that people are sometimes capable of amazing changes, although of course they have to make those changes for themselves and may not be currently ready for it.
There’s also a lot to be said for engaging people on a more mundane level. When I was a volunteer mental health advocate (glorified befriending really), I think I did more good when I was just a regular person talking about regular normal things, rather than focusing on deep problems all the time.
I just thought: Tom might have been talking about trolls – people who post stuff for the sole reason of winding others up. I still agree with the ignoring approach in that case – at least ignoring the silly stuff.
I understand that sometimes people feel it’s amusing to turn the tables and wind the trolls up. But I think what would be far more amusing is if people simply didn’t pay any attention to trolling posts. Sometimes this starts to happen on Forumosa. People will be having a good conversation about something, a troll will jump in, but the conversation will carry on as if nothing happened. Perhaps the troll will get desperate and post again. At that point usually someone else jumps in and the flaming commences. But I think it would be funnier if everyone just watched the troll impotently thrashing around in the vain attempt to get someone to respond.
I must agree with Tom. There are people that are just out to argue for the sake of argument and those discussions usually lead nowhere. With some posters it’s just better to hit the “ignore” button because if you get into an argument with them something smears off on you.
What’s wrong with argument for the sake of argument? And why should a discussion “lead somewhere?” Shooting the shit, in all its tedious banality, is precisely the appeal of flub.com for many people, me included.
There’s good-natured argumentation and I don’t have a problem with that, but when the man is played instead of the ball, I will rather not take part.[/quote]
Yeah, but you have an avenue when that happens, as it’s against the forum’s rules. Or, as you say, there’s the ignore button, but I don’t think people should be encouraged not to argue – how boring that would be!
[quote=“Tigerman”]I agree with sandman. If you don’t want to argue, don’t. But, why try to stop others from doing so?
This is only an Internet forum… the stakes aren’t very high, are they?[/quote]
Some of us believe that the internet is some dream world that never comes in contact with reality, but I doubt it very much. I had a friend who is six feet six because of the internet.
[quote=“sandman”]Yeah, but you have an avenue when that happens, as it’s against the forum’s rules. Or, as you say, there’s the ignore button, but I don’t think people should be encouraged not to argue – how boring that would be![/quote]Would you like a Jaffa cake ?
[quote=“AAF”][quote=“Tigerman”]I agree with sandman. If you don’t want to argue, don’t. But, why try to stop others from doing so?
This is only an Internet forum… the stakes aren’t very high, are they?[/quote]
Some of us believe that the internet is some dream world that never comes in contact with reality, but I doubt it very much. I had a friend who is six feet six because of the internet.[/quote]
So there are stupid prats or psychos on the Internet jsut as in real life. Few and far between, though. I can manage well enough in real life and don’t have much of a problem on the Internet, either. I sure don’t stay out bars, or arguments/debates in bars, on the off-chance that I might offend a psycho who’ll kill me or beat me up. Although I probably would watch my mouth in a skinhead bar, I suppose. The flub’s hardly the Internet equivalent of a skinhead bar, though.
Did you know JAFFA stands for “Just another ff@cking Aucklander”? It is used by some of my fellow kiwis who recent the sophisticated city ways of Aucklanders (just like Aussies resent New Zealand’s undeniable greatness).
If I seriously thought you had Jaffa Cakes and weren’t sharing, I’d be a VERY angry poster. However, since I know you’re just trying to taunt me with tangy teatime treats, I’ll have to call you for a troll – an ANGRY troll!
