Student crushes and stalking

Work Teaching English in Taiwan
1

i started teaching adults about a year ago. a month into class, a new student came. i thought nothing of him switching classes to be in my class (the other students often swapped between teachers based on what we were teaching). i gave out my cell phone number, just in case, to the class…thats when the calls started coming in.

first they were of the “how are you” variety. then they turned into the “want to go to dinner” type. then, when he heard that my mom was in town and i was going to take her to an authentic chinatown dinner, he insisted he not only suggest somewhere tasty, but he also offered his services to come with us (he’s a chef). after my not returning phone calls (i hardly ever answer unknown numbers, and then when i knew it was his, i saved it and didnt answer it at all), these phone calls dwindled.

now, email. he has my email address. emails are so much better. you can save them and analyze them and respond (or, accd to him, ‘reletter’) when you feel like it. my replies arent that great, just cause i dont really care and just want him to go away. his emails are on my blog. :unamused:

but what i want to know is how you’ve dealt with student crushes? of the adult variety.

help. :+) :help:

2

ichbinjenny:

I can’t talk on behalf of everybody, but I think many of us (English teachers) went through something similar at some point in time; not only in Taiwan, but certainly more so here than ‘back home’ (in my case).

My humble opinion is to ignore his calls (as you’ve been doing) and e-mails. Do not respond to his e-mails and they will eventaully also dwindle. In addition, make a skillful reference or two to your ‘boyfriend’ to the class in general; maybe as part of a discussion or something like that. You might even want to be seen with your ‘boyfriend’ on campus or somewhere else for that matter. Sounds a little childish I know, but if the message gets through who cares?

3

tell the principal if it continues, keep the emails as proof. tell him you have no interest. harsh but it will work

4

Which principal would intervene in an adult love crush, especially an Asian one? Giving out your number is inviting disaster.

5

Seeing as though you are in America, why don’t you call the cops? Buy some pepper spray and learn self defense.

6

booo. i have no stalkers :s

but the gurlz in my class are pretty friendly, i think the easiest thing to do is just casually mention U have a bf, even if U don’t.

I highly doubt he would still pursue if you thinks U R already taken.

7

Why on earth would you give your students your own personal private cell phone number? I never have done, never will give my students my cell phone number, it’s just inviting disaster. Now, perhaps, private tutees are different… they do need to reach you on occasion.

Get a second mobile phone with an IF style phone card. If you get bothersome phone calls, you can just change the number or the card… At the very worst.

As regards, emails… it’s easy to have two or three email addresses these days. Get one ONLY for students, and don’t reply to weird emails!!! :smiley:

IMHO

Kenneth

8

I wouldn’t guarantee the boyfriend line to work. I had a similar problem with a Taiwanese admirer but they were not a student of mine but wanted to be. He obtained my phone number from someone else (but I can’t find out who). I told him I had a boyfriend but he said it didn’t matter to him as he couldn’t help the way he felt. Eventually I offended him and then my boyfriend came to Taiwan to visit and everything seems to be ok but it took a very long to make him understand.