Stuff you want me to steal for you

Okay…as an accomplished thief and car jacker I’ll work on consignment.

What do you want me to steal for you?

I won’t except cash…more like trade or services. For example: I’ll steal a really big bicycle for Tash in exchange for a full body massage.

I’ll steal a Stairmaster for The Chief for his box of Havana cigars he keeps under the floorboards at home.

Go easy on the luxury items. For example I won’t steal a new Ducati Motorcycle for Sandman in exchange for a worn pair of bag pipes and a sheep’s scrotum.

Oh, ace thread. I too am an accomplished thief, so I’m not sure I can use you, but I’m interested to hear what everyone would trade for their darkest desires.

Of course, highjacking is a whole different ballpark to my occasional petty theft/retail Robin Hoodism. Do you think you could hijack a helicopter to fly down Taroko Gorge? That would be worth pretty much anything to me. I’d have to play ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ really loud and shoot orange steam out the bottom. Not real Agent Orange, of course, I’m not a mentallist. We could fill ‘er up then water balloon bomb Carnegies’ terrace. Wha’dya say?

Cool thread! Okay, Please let me be the very first to say that I’d like a real photo of IrishStu to use as my avatar. I have no idea what I might trade, but name your price and I’ll see if I can meet it. :wink:

It’s nice to see personal friends of the mods can make as many stupid threads as they like.

So which mods’ your personal friend?

HG

I have a half eaten candy bar and half a can of leftover coke from yesterday on my desk.

What can I get for them?

Taiwan stole my soul. Can you get it back for me. I know its a useless trinket, but I am a sentimental chap. What would you want for it? Reach around? I stole a glass from the hofbrau house before, too.

[quote=“Buttercup”]Oh, ace thread. I too am an accomplished thief, so I’m not sure I can use you, but I’m interested to hear what everyone would trade for their darkest desires.

Of course, highjacking is a whole different ballpark to my occasional petty theft/retail Robin Hoodism. Do you think you could hijack a helicopter to fly down Taroko Gorge? That would be worth pretty much anything to me. I’d have to play ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ really loud and shoot orange steam out the bottom. Not real Agent Orange, of course, I’m not a mentallist. We could fill ‘er up then water balloon bomb Carnegies’ terrace. Wha’dya say?[/quote]

Private ownership of helicopters is not allowed in Taiwan, making it really difficult to get one.

And you wouldn’t want any of the garbage the government owns. Suggestion Ms. Cup:

How about a really big Remote controlled one?

I could ride on my bike behind you with Irish Stu on back controlling it.

Naked or clothed?

How about I steal a page from the 1997 “Great Irish Potato Famine Commemorative Sexy Calendar?”
you can see his abs really well in that one.

OK, send the bicycle to the following address:
Tash’s house,
Croatia

She’s hired me to give you the rub and tug on her behalf, so you better give me a call I suppose. Or you can get out of it by stealing me a Duc. A yellow one with slicks.

Sandy-thanks for the offer but I’ll pass on the Ma Sa Ji and the happy ending.

Do you want your duck roasted and with it’s head still attached to the body?

I can’t get it back for you but I can talk to Ole Boss Scratch and ask him to do something about your tail.

I really don’t know why you would need another photo of me. Your last 5 avatar pictures weren’t enough?

I really don’t know why you would need another photo of me. Your last 5 avatar pictures weren’t enough?[/quote]
I was just going to say that! The girl is greedy!

But back to reality, where Iris’ six-pack is of the brew, rather than brawn kind… housecat, here’s a little teaser for you. This is the real Iris, conveniently cropped to hide his pretty face.

You can have the full monty (and I’ve got many more) but you will sell your soul to the devil and be my biatch for the rest of your life. (you’ll start by peeling and dicing my onions, I hate that) What do you say? Is it worth it to you?

[quote=“sandman”]OK, send the bicycle to the following address:
Tash’s house,
Croatia

She’s hired me to give you the rub and tug on her behalf, so you better give me a call I suppose. Or you can get out of it by stealing me a Duc. A yellow one with slicks.[/quote]
San, he’s bluffing, there are no bikes big enough for me in Taiwan. I know, I looked for one for two years.

But on the other hand, we know you’ve been yearning to give Bubba a rub and a tug for ages, so let’s just pretend that this is what that’s for. Knock yourself out. I’m just worried about the poor duckie being involved in the sordid thing.