Suicide

I have been here for a long time.

I have no friends anymore.

I feel alienated.

I am clinically depressed.

I have an IQ of about 135 or so.

I have less than a High School education.

My life here is essentialy a lie.

Two of the closest people in my life died recently.

I have no one to talk to about it.

Have you tried talking to a counselor at the Community Services Center?

http://www.community.com.tw/counseling_services.php

There are professionals there who will listen to you and help you get your feelings in order. Try them.

Sean

Get a GED. It will make your quality of life higher and open up new possibilities for you.
If this place isn’t working. Go somewhere else.
Maybe you need a hobby. Hobbies are also great ways to meet new people…

I understand depression. I also understand loneliness. For both, you just have to be active in working for a change and not accept that " this is how it is"

PITA, are you still there? I hope you checked out the CCS counselling service.

I do understand what you’re feeling, and I completely empathize, though I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose two people who are close to you.

I wish I could make you feel better. :rainbow:

It’s OK to feel bad, though; we all do from time to time. And it’s good you want to talk about it. Tell me how I can help you.

Sean

Go get some antidepressants. You can go to any of the big hospitals and talk to a doctor.

There are plenty of people here without college diplomas, with problems in their life. Don’t let the people who claim their lives are all rosy get you down. I used to do that and then I learned that A LOT of them are lying.

You can make friends here. Seek out people who are new here and need friends.

Take a train somewhere pretty and just soak in the scenery like the human creature you are.

Get through it. There WILL be good times in your life again. It’s hard to see that now, I know, ut sooner or later you will have a happy day, and be glad you lived long enough to experience it.

At the very least, keep talking about it here on Forumosa. There are so many people here that your chances of finding a sympathetic ear are greater and immediate.

Dear painintheass, first up, starting a thread titled “suicide” and pouring out feelings of angst is a serious business. I am quite sure if you had used any other electronic medium there would be grounds to trace the source and ensure you are okay. That would certainly be the case if you’d called a help line.

I do hope this call for help is sincere.

You claim a high IQ, I’m sure you will verify this potential by seeking the proper assistance and knocking off talk of suicide. I think before anything else you should assert here that you will not harm yourself, if you do not, I would advise anyone with the skills to trace the source of the post to inform the relevant authorities. This will not help you but will rather add to your current woes. tHowever, these are the stakes you are playing painintheass when you raise such a threat.

Assuming that you are sincere, I suggest you follow what the good folks above have suggested and seek help, either through the counciling services provided, a doctor, or continued posting here.

As for the implied threat of suicide, please understand what an awfully selfish and loaded deal suicide is. Consider carefully, if you can shake your focus from your own belly for a moment, the poisoned legacy it passes to those around you. Of course you may not even consider it possible that your actions would harm others at this point, but a suicide is a mighty traumatic deal for everybody concerned, from the emergency people that will attempt to save your life to the neighbours on up. Furthermore, most suicide attempts end in failure and all too often merely further exacerbate an already bad situation.

Believe me, when your suicide attempt fails and you are left with half your IQ and partial paralysis, the motivation to try again always evaporates but the shitty legacy remains for the rest of your days.

In case you are wondering, painintheass, I am a former psychiatric nurse who has encountered more suicides and the aftermath than I dare say you have made love. And furthermore, my owen mother took her life in a moment of drug-induced madness. Suicicde is an extremly selfish act. please consider your actions very carefully.

HG

Painintheass,email me and we’ll go for a beer or coffee whaterver you want.

Pain…, I am dumb as a rats ass, but have a University diploma. C’mon here in Taiwan we are experts for everything, the companies here never understand what my University Diploma is anyway, I guess they confuse it with some US-american Kindergaren “who can stack most toys above each other” degree.

C’mon cheer up, listen to (happy!) music you like. I always go for some big band swing, choose what you like. Music can make happy.

And then follow the advice of the others.

Believe me, I have been bandly depressed, but I never want to let anything get me down. Feel free to PM me.

Do something! Music is a good start…

PITA,

My best advice is DON’T.

It takes time to change things about one’s life that are unsatisfactory.

The best sign is that you posted here, and you probably know as well as I do that in posting it means that would rather NOT kill yourself.

So don’t.

Forumosans are all over this island and many of us get together regularly for beers or biking or hiking. It isn’t easy making new friends when you’re older as everyone is too damn busy, but

It is possible.

jdsincere :rainbow:

painintheass,

Have you ever transplanted a houseplant into a bigger container and discovered when you pulled off the old pot that it used to fit comfortably in that the roots had grown so long and tangled, round and round, in a tight knot? You then tugged and pulled at those roots to untangle them a bit, before placing it in a new, larger container with fresh dirt where its roots could again reach out and grow, and the plant then flourished.

Well, people are the same way. We tend to sit in the same little pot for too long, our roots growing cramped and tangled and stunting our growth. As with plants, the best remedy for humans is to get out and re-pot oneself in new surroundings, new activities, new routines and new experiences.

If you’re really feeling so despondent that you’re really ready to chuck it all then, what the hell, you’ve got nothing to lose. Instead of thinking small, why not try thinking big. Forget past routines and inhibition, just go out and try new and different things. You can start small, with eating at different places, taking a different route to work, and going for a walk at night instead of watching TV. Throw out your TV. But you can also make plans for bigger changes. If you’ve got money saved up then why not quit your job and go travel for a while, in Taiwan or abroad. See places you always wanted to see. Do things you always wanted to do. I spent many months traveling in SE Asia and it was very cheap and a great way to think about life and more satisfying career alternatives.

Probably you’re not thrilled with your job. Quit. Get a different job. And start thinking about what kind of work would be more satisfying for the long-term. Someone mentioned the High School Equivalency Exam. That’s a great idea. I never graduated from High School – I got kicked out. But I took the Equivalency Exam, went on to graduate from Uni and now I’m a lawyer. If you’re very bright then chances are you’ll enjoy going back to school, learning new things, and will eventually find more satisfying work. Sure, that may seem like an impossible, long-term process, but it’s not impossible and the process can be extremely stimulating and satisfying. It’s good to have challenging goals to strive for. Without them one falls into a boring rut.

And exercise can be terrific for boosting ones spirits. When I’m feeling crappy, nothing helps like a good bike ride. If you don’t have a bike buy one. Or join the gym and start swimming or lifting or whatever. Exercise provides proven, concrete relief for despondency in the endorphins, blah blah blah. In addition it just plain feels good and helps one to feel better about ones self. Moreover, you’ll run into new people there, may just nod at first or say hello to a few folks, but eventually you could even develop new friends through such activities. Heck, the fastest way to develop new friends and get exercise would be to join up with the Forumosa Hiking Club one weekend. I’ve never joined them but it sounds like a great group of people.

Oh, well, I’ve got to get back to work. Good luck to you. :slight_smile:

[quote=“Mother Theresa”] Heck, the fastest way to develop new friends and get exercise would be to join up with the Forumosa Hiking Club one weekend. I’ve never joined them but it sounds like a great group of people.

Oh, well, I’ve got to get back to work. Good luck to you. :slight_smile:[/quote]

Hah, got you. You’re in for it now. A commitment to hiking if ever I saw one.

Hiking…

I only found this activity some few months back. The cold weather sucks even though it can be fun hiking in the rain if you are prepared. We need some good warm weather and hikes followed by swims in the river or ocean.

It’s a great activity. You get to feel good from being outdoors. You get to feel good from increasing your fitness and trimming your waist line. You get to feel good from chatting on the way.

[quote=“Ironman”][quote=“Mother Theresa”] Heck, the fastest way to develop new friends and get exercise would be to join up with the Forumosa Hiking Club one weekend. I’ve never joined them but it sounds like a great group of people.

Oh, well, I’ve got to get back to work. Good luck to you. :slight_smile:[/quote]

Hah, got you. You’re in for it now. A commitment to hiking if ever I saw one.

Hiking…

I only found this activity some few months back. The cold weather sucks even though it can be fun hiking in the rain if you are prepared. We need some good warm weather and hikes followed by swims in the river or ocean.

It’s a great activity. You get to feel good from being outdoors. You get to feel good from increasing your fitness and trimming your waist line. You get to feel good from chatting on the way.[/quote]

I second that. I was feeling pretty lonely and sad last year till I discovered the hiking club. And ironman is right, it’s not just the exercise part, it’s the getting out, having a great chat, doing something different, etc. Not to mention making friends.

beep

[quote=“Huang Guang Chen”]
Believe me, when your suicide attempt fails and you are left with half your IQ and partial paralysis, the motivation to try again always evaporates but the shitty legacy remains for the rest of your days.

In case you are wondering, painintheass, I am a former psychiatric nurse who has encountered more suicides and the aftermath than I dare say you have made love. And furthermore, my owen mother took her life in a moment of drug-induced madness. Suicicde is an extremly selfish act. please consider your actions very carefully.

HG[/quote]

The shitty legacy doesn’t have to remain for the rest of your days. It may last upon the minds who were affected by it. But even then you can turn it around. One who has survived suicide could easily rebuild their character learning from their mistakes and making amends to those that were affected by it. From that they can derive meaning from being in such a state and see their fellow humans in a more compassionate manner.

Overcoming difficult stituations are a test of your character. Try to see these stituations as lessons that will help you become who you would like to be in life. Ride out the storm and remember that you are the captain of your destiny.

It’s good that you are reaching out as living abroad can be isolating. Many people here on F.com are good hearted, salt of the earth people who are willing to take the time to help you get thu this moment. As other people have suggested, join some of the events that are posted and don’t worry about your achievements. They are not who you are,and the people here won’t judge you by them. As we all come from different walks of life.

Best of luck. I hope you keep us posted and let us lift your spirits. :rainbow:

What HGC said.

With all due respect to the other posters, the OP doesn’t need to hear “Try some exercise” or “Join the hiking club.” Yes, those can help people who are very unhappy, but there’s a world of difference between garden variety culture shock/loneliness and clinical depression. If you are seriously considering suicide, you need to immediately seek help from a mental health professional.

Reaching out is a great first step, pain! I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time right now. Please don’t make any permanent decisions about your life now. Death is permanent, everything else is temporary. You recognize that you are depressed. There are people you can talk to. I recommend, as others, going to see a counselor at the community services center. Be open and honest about all of the things you are feeling. Getting on anti-depressents will help your mind to better cope with the things you are going through. Physical exercise everday will also help to lift your mood.

Also, get involved in some groups, like the ones mentioned here on forumosa. I’ve met some really good friends from this website. You just need to get out and make the connections. It can be scary to make the first step, if you are a shy person like me, but you can build up a good circle of friends over time.

Other than that, when I’ve gone through bad times (and I’ve been through a few) it’s really been my faith that has sustained me. I don’t know how I would have gotten by without knowing that there is a God who created me, loves me, wants to be in an intimate relationship with me, and ultimately has a good plan for my life. I go to a really wonderful Taiwanese church and some days last year when I felt totally down, I’d go and get totally uplifted and renewed by the service. There are some really good English speaking churches in Taipei as well. If you are interested, send me a pm and I can provide you some information about where you can find them. Some people that you meet at church, can be a great source of support when you are going through hard times.

I don’t know if you are male/female, or where you are from, but if you need someone to listen without judgement, please send me a pm. I’d be happy to meet for coffee or lunch. No matter what has happened in your past, today is a new day. Things can get better!

[quote=“alidarbac”]What HGC said.

With all due respect to the other posters, the OP doesn’t need to hear “Try some exercise” or “Join the hiking club.” Yes, those can help people who are very unhappy, but there’s a world of difference between garden variety culture shock/loneliness and clinical depression. If you are seriously considering suicide, you need to immediately seek help from a mental health professional.[/quote]

Yeah okay. I’m posting stuff about hiking to say we are here to support you. I didn’t think it needed to be spelled out.

Check your PMs as soon as you can man. :sunglasses:

I have also been through my share of the dark times, to look at me now you would now believe it, but I was a very troubled guy in my late teens.

I was hospitalised for a time with clinical depression for reasons that are too long (read: personal) to go into here. I went through the whole gamut… including serious self-mutilation.

I am now over it… completely recovered, but I know what you are going through. I would also be happy to meet you if you desire, no obligation. Listen to the people on here, as they are, as Nama suggests, salt of the earth people. I would also recommend listening to HGC.

feel free to PM me PITA, and take care… there are foreigners here who do genuinely care.