When they’ve been sitting on their arse for an hour outside the station or bus stop and think you owe them a juicier fare than a short jog around the corner.
I was flying low 
and undetected by your irony radar. So you did not see my point
By the way. next time you eat out, get all the leftovers stuffed into plastic bags. Then, you can scooter home with the soup course dripping on your crotch. Dump the leftovers in the fridge and wait until its furry.
Then you can stick it on your favourite armchair and call it Tiddles.
Or the 7 11. Doesn’t piss me off too much though, as it’s always the Chinese papers being read.
Carry around a ‘rates schedule’ for those annoying ‘conversationalists’ on the MRT. Head it up “English Conversation”, provide the questions and answers “Where are you from?” “How long have you been in Taiwan?” “What is your occupation?” (answer conversational English teacher) then write “For more conversation, please see the following rates…”
Brian
Take the edge off that long drive home after a hard working day by chewing a betel nut. The stimulating effect of vigorous mastication will also sharpen the mind and increase your focus and desperate concentration on the white line in the middle of the road.
Don’t overdo it though!!!
I always think I ride better after sucking a couple of nuts.
Always find a parking space by carrying around a large supply of pot plants on the back seat. Every time you find a parking space, drop off a few plants when you leave, that way you can park there again when you come back, and before long you’ll have a good collection of personal parking spaces all around the city!
Brian
Avoid the need to transport large numbers of potted rubber and bamboo plants on the back of your scooter by parking the rotten machine anywhere you like on the pavement. Find a popular spot with loads of like-minded scooters. That way, you can avoid the problem of having your heap of junk carted away in a Taipei City lorry because it’ll be too much of a fag for them to bother.
Never park your scooter illegally on the pavement.
Even if you’re really careful and choose a spot with lots of other machines, it’ll be just your luck that the guys from City Hall doing the Minsheng East route are way behind quota this month.