That is true. I do not have any immediate plans for a grand wedding banquet in the foreseeable future.
BUT she was a good colleague, her parents (professionals in my field) did provide generous advice to me early on, and the banquet will be held at the Sheraton Grand Taipei and not some sketchy joint in Luzhou. I should add she treated me to cake and coffee in the fine city of Melbourne when I visited some years back. So I may go a bit higher here.
Thanks to everyone for their generous advice. Now letās see, whereās my Easy Card . . .
The banquets I attended in the early to mid 2000s were for often for foreign affairs government colleagues and attended by political and economic big wigs, so even as the token whitey, I didnāt want to be seen as the cheap Canadian, you know the type of snowbird that fights over the food bill and the tip! So generally gave a little higher to fight that stereotype.
I remember at one of these weddings, a now-dead but famous tycoon (who was a real humanitarian and advocate for Taiwan), who was also guest, looked at my wife (a stunner then and now) and said āTaiwan has been really good to youāāI told him I couldnāt agree more. Was a lovely thing to say and made me really respect the dude! He had the common touch!
Was giving ranges, so not sure of the exact amount. Always left that to my woman, who as a Taiwanese, knows the superstitions. She gave me shit when giving watches and umbrellas as gifts.
Yeah not giving exact amounts as per email aboveāranges. Iāve never put the amounts in the envelopeā¦left it for Taiwanese family members who know these things.
Yes, not good number 5, give T$2600 or T$3600 for someone not so close, for someone very close I given 10,000+. Also the place you go, make sure you give enough to cover the meal. Some are nice places, other weddings are on the street (Which tend have good food I like better than hotels)
I would check with Taiwanese colleagues and give a similar amount. There have been some quite big (IMO) numbers thrown around in this thread. 3600 seems quite generous.
Remember the Alamo, remember the venue and personal relationship!
When afterspivak mentioned the quite swanky venue and that they had professionally helped him in certain ways, my view was higher is better, no?
Iāve been invited to some banquets where the relationship was peripheral and where I was just there to add some diversity. And fully agree, lower amounts are fine in those situations.
But if it is work related, they helped you and they are middle/upper middle class, donāt low ball it.
Man why even bother? Are you guys ever going to meet again? Hong baos are like a loan. Sheās outta here, meaning she is skimping out on her end of the deal.
And lets not pretend weddings are fun or anything. They are awkward and the food is slop. The hong bao should be reversed and the guests should be paid for attending!
By attending, youāre giving them face. Itās expected that at some point down the road, the favour will be returned. Anthropologists who study cultures of gift giving no doubt could present this elaborate process more precisely!
1600 for people that arenāt close. Me and the wife, sometimes kid go for that. 800 for a decent meal (usually) and unlimited alcohol at a festive time. I actually enjoy weddings here. Especially when they arenāt very close friends or family and one can avoid all the super uncomfortable traditions and infighting amongst the fam haha
āWeddingsā in Taiwan are generally small and rather staid affairs compared to some of our home countries. Thereās no church ceremony, dinner, reception, best manās speech and entertainment and dancing and expectation to spend the night.
But if you are not a fan of weddings to begin with they are handy to get in and out of , fast. Efficiency and casualness is the name of the game.
Above amounts are about right for folks you donāt really know, yep.
You can think of it like that. Most elderly Taiwanese people do. However, nowadays I feel like you are just paying for your meal. At most wedding venues, a table at the banquet costs around 20k and seats 10. So each person would need to pay 2k to cover the cost. That leaves just a little extra for the blessing.
If you decide to go, you should see the newlyweds as friends or family, and want to share their happiness by being there. Thatās the original meaning of Hongbao. If you donāt like Taiwanās wedding banquets, or donāt want to pay for the banquet hongbao, then just donāt go, and give them a hongbao with 600 NTD in it.
I agree with you on this. I donāt like TW weddings but if its friends or family then i can go along with it.
I think the original meaning has changed though, now its about inviting every acquaintance you have ever met so you can show off more. This type of wedding - just avoid it, the food wonāt be worth the hong bao price either, its shiny slop.
Well, every banquet room has a requirement for minimum number of tables. So say your parents invited enough people to fill 10 tables and exceeds the maximum number of tables for the smallest room, then suddenly you have to fill another 10 tables for the next biggest room.
A lot of it sucks, but if you ever looked into the logistics of putting one of these things together, youād appreciate how much crap the newlyweds already have to go through.
Well I would say thatās normal in that culture going back a very long time when you would invite half the village to go to the wedding, and itās still the case in some areas here.
Ostentatious displays of wealth and gold for the dowry was also an important part of the engagement pre wedding ceremony (seen it with my own eyes). The wedding ceremony we see now is only the end part of the traditional matchmaking process.
City weddings and you get peopleās weddings could be very different now though (many donāt have the money or donāt want to spend the money, rightfully so) and now many people arenāt even getting married. So the opportunities to go to weddings are definitely fewer these days.
Itās 37Ā°C outside at noon with a bunch of hungry mosquitoes and flies. Half the attendees are over 50 or under 3. That sort of stunt would only work if you have so much money to throw away that you plan a separate young people only banquet, which I think I observed occurs for 1 in 8 couples.
So generally gave a little higher to fight that stereotype.