Taiwanese boyfriend rant

I’m a foreign woman with a Taiwanese boyfriend, and he’s driving me crazy. I have a cold - not a particularly bad one - and he nags me constantly about going to the doctor. Last night we went to a movie, but were almost 2 hours too early. We waited at a coffee shop; after about an hour of fruitless argument about going to the doctor, I finally told him I refused to discuss it anymore. For the rest of the time, he was silent. In the theatre, going home and at home, however, he kept going on and on about how I had to see a doctor.
I’ve had a cold for four days; I told him that foreigners do not rush to the emergency room of the nearest hospital at 10:30 at night because they’ve got a stuffed up nose. Then he started going on and on about how if I wanted to commit suicide, there was nothing he could do about it.
Then, after I coughed once, he ordered me to spit the phlegm out on the sidewalk; I refused, so he handed me a cup and said I could spit in there. I pointed out that spitting in public is considered rude back home. He pulled out a filthy rag from his pocket and said I could spit into it. WTF?
This is not the first time a Taiwanese has insisted to the point of insanity (mine) that I go to the doctor because I have a cold, but it’s the worst example of it. He cares about me and my health, he says - so constant nagging is the answer?
When did Taiwan discover the cure for the common cold, and why haven’t they told the rest of the world about it?
What kind of answer can you give people when they go on like this that will make them shut up? Explaining that a cold is caused by a virus and there’s no medicine that will magically cure it, and the doctors here just give out placebos because, hell, it’s an easy way to make a buck - well, that didn’t work.
Alright, thanks, I feel a bit better now.

I think you answered your own question: it’s a clash of cultures. Give and take, give and take.

He’s just trying to show that he cares about you. Relax.

OK…I read this…in its entirety…it took maybe 30-45 seconds…I thoughtfully processed what this woman posted.

Geez…grow the fuck up woman. You are in a losing relationship. You are with someone who has no thought as to your welfare, never will and doesn’t even understand the concept of why he should.

Understand your situation, have faith that you can do better, write this one off and move on with your life.

Best wishes and I hope you have a speedy recovery from your sniffles.

nice rant OP!! :bravo: next time bitch slap the guy to boot; you deserve a medal for going out with the guy…i have to admit it does my head in in my office every time i get a cold and every man jack of my colleagues start going in on the “have you seen a doctor yet” BS

My boyfriends mother keeps cooking Chicken soup for me when I start to cough and gets grumpy when I refuse to eat it. WTF…I’m vegetarian!!

[quote=“TainanCowboy”]Geez…grow the fuck up woman. You are in a losing relationship. You are with someone who has no thought as to your welfare, never will and doesn’t even understand the concept of why he should.

Despite TC’s rather direct, and somewhat crude counsel, he has a point. However, if you care about this guy and are otherwise happy in the relationship, I suggest waiting for things to cool a bit on this issue. Perhaps, when the cold is gone, you could sit down with nan pengyou and explain that you appreciate his concern for your health, but the constant nagging has got to go. If he protests or if the situation happens again, you may want to rethink the relationship (assuming it is unbearable).

This issue has presented an opportunity to see if nan pengyou can adjust his behavior to meet your needs in a multi-cultural relationship. Like CQ said, give and take. If he can adjust, great. If not, hmmm. :ponder:

Just a thought.

Never mind his concern for your welfare - he sounds like a control freak. Start looking for the exit.

I personally just liked the complaining about the silent treatment. Nice to see the boot on the other foot occasionally.

This is very normal in Taiwan, people around me always express their concern for my liver and lungs. Would not think you should be looking for an exit from the relationship (provided everything else is fine) as another poster wrote, it is in their culture to run to the emmergency room of a hostpital or to add to the wealth of lee ka shin (watsons) as soon as they feel a sneeze is building up. Cheers!

Just laugh at him and tell him he’s a silly old woman.

bah just go to da doctor…

my gf was da same way, i didn’t go because my ARC had issues and my NHI was not in effect yet, otherwise I woulda done it, quick way to get them to be quiet.

Good advise to get hm to stop nagging.

More advise is that it takes a long, long time to break people of habits. But it can work. My wife now is adamant that she is not given anti-biotics when she goes to the doctor unless it is for a serious infection. She even made a point of finding a young doctor who does not like to over-prescribe medicine. And she knows that you cannot take anti-biotics for only 5 days and expect it to work properly. She knows the UN recommends 12-14 days and is not afraid to tell it to her doctor.

But it took many years to bring her to this stage. Are you relentless? I am and will continue on the same track year after year if I believe in what I am doing.

Play games and you will lose in the long run. It’s your choice.

Remind him how many people died or got seriously ill this year because the pharmacist screwed up and they were given the wrong medicine.

I bet that happens a lot more in the west where you take a scribbled prescription to the drug store as opposed to Taiwan where a the doctor types in the prescription on a computer and it goes to the dispensary next door.

eeek, you are posting about someone, that you are supposed to care about, nagging you about going to the Dr. Way to go!

He sounds like a normal Taiwanese, grief, you have medical insurance, you could just go, right. Or say, ok, I’ll go tomorrow and then give it a miss.

Here we all go giving advice about a relationship that we know nothing about. I doubt that bababa actually cares about the answers really, she probably just needed to vent.

Really? Ordered?

4 days of a cold, a cough and phlem, even I’d suggest you to see a Dr. Glad to hear that the placebos are working when I take them.

Take a deep breath … it’s a cultural thing. If he didn’t do it, then I’d be more concerned. This is SOP.

Isieh, what does SOP mean?

I agree with those who wrote that it is just his way of expressing concern for you. There may also be elements of jockeying for control.

In general, if you’re going to discuss your personal life on a website, you’re probably not too committed to that particular relationship. Far better to seek the advice of a trusted local friend or two, in private.

Good luck.

Standard Operating Procedure