[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]We’ve kind of made “I love you” into a dirty phrase in the west. Instead of “I’m feeling really deeply positive about you right now and if a bear came here right now, I’d totally fight it so you could get away. I think you’re great. I may not feel that way forever, but I definitely feel it right now.” we’ve taken it to mean, “I’m taking this really seriously and I’m going to expect a lot of things from you in the future, It’s going to take up a lot of your time and energy, and if you don’t deliver, I’m going to be pissed. I’m also a person who’s incapable of managing my emotions, and I am currently piling all kinds of inappropriate emotions on you, a virtual stranger, just because we got naked together and did some stuff. I have really poor judgement.”
I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean, but my guess is that maybe to Taiwanese, it’s more like the first one? Which, ahem, is maybe closer to the original meaning?
Also it may be that that’s just what they’ve seen on the movies and it’s what they think you expect to hear. I’ve seen this in other cultures, too- Italy, Mexico, etc, and this was on the first night of meeting, when no sex was even had.
[quote=“FizzyBubbleh”]To clarify, I’ll say this usually happens after the first time having sex. I’m not really interested in a relationship so that may or may not be the first date. So while they may be wondering why the sex happened so quickly I’m wondering why the ILY’s did.
From my experience it seems to occur with all but Western men, not just a Taiwanese phenomenon.[/quote]
I think that for some people, overwhelming feelings of “love” go hand in hand with the feelings of insecurity that come from knowing someone might leave you, or might not be available to you the way you want them to be. Stupid trick of our human brains. “If he/she might leave me, he/she must be better than me, which means he/she must be very valuable.”
I’ve had this experience with guys that I was not interested in a relationship with. It might be said that that’s a less common situation (where the man is more interested in a relationship than the woman) and I think guys kind of freak out when they’re put in that position. Or that’s been my experience.
For some/many of them it’s their hormonal response to sex and intimacy, they have low androgen binding, and lower dihydrotestosterone levels which is why their appearance is more child-like in adulthood and many do not have much body or facial hair. It’s also why they lack muscle development and… other things… and are prone primarily to these type of emotions.
I’m still laughing at the last Korean guy I saw in an amateur performance, his expression while she’s trying to enjoy him, poor girl, she got tricked by the expensive good-looking haircut :roflmao:
Last study I saw the swedes had 15x the level of testosterone excretion and significantly higher affinity for androgen binding than the other study category (Koreans). Does not mean they are less loving, just more virile in addition. Blacks and caucasians similarly.[/quote]
Interesting discussion about chemicals. I’ve read that testosterone mitigates the effects of oxytocin, meaning that after sex, men tend to get less attached than women. If what triceratopses is saying is true, then maybe the lower level of testosteroney-type chemicals mean that these guys attach more easily.
Anyways, for their sake, please have an honest conversation about expectations with these guys before sex. Early experiences with “love” can be influential.[/quote]
He’s talking rubbish, take it from somebody who is actually involved in the clinical side of this. Hormones and testing of such is a very finicky and little understood area of medicine. You need to relate ratios of hormones ,check for cross reactivity, check against age, sex and myriad other things…and even then there is not consensus on some basic matters such as testosterone replacement therapy (which has a huge marketing push behind it in the US to get aging males to test testo levels and buy the stuff $$$). Now it probably is useful for some, but jumping to broad conclusions when it’s clearly a cultural thing in Taiwan…don’t do it
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