Taiwanese humor: are these jokes funny? All written by C.C. Chen of Taipei, who swears they are funny… and real! Your opinion?
Aboard the Titani Hao
Mr Chen and Mr Liu were relaxing on the deck of
the Titanic, smoking big cigars, chatting about
life back in Taiwan, when suddenly Mr Chen says,
with more than a little panic in his
voice,“Uh-oh, Mr Liu. We just hit an iceberg. I
think the boat is sinking!” Mr Liu shrugs and
says nonchalantly, “So? What’s it to us? It’s not
Mah Jong Pals
Four middle-aged women, friends for years, are
playing mahjong one afternoon in Taichung, as
they have for nearly a decade.
Suddenly, Mrs. Chen says, “Ladies, I have to tell
you something. I’m a kleptomaniac, but I want you
should know that in a million years, I’d never
take anything from any of you, my dearest
Empowered by Mrs Chen’s honestly, Mrs. Yeh says,
“Well, as long as we’re playing true confessions,
I have something to tell you, too. I’m a
nymphomaniac. I’ve had sex with dozens of men
over the years, but don’t worry. I would never
make advances toward any of your husbands or
family members. I respect our friendship too
“Well,” Mrs. Liao pipes up, “I guess I might as
well confess that I’m a secret lesbian. I’ve been
having affairs with women all my life. But don’t
worry, I’m not attracted to any of you.”
With that, Mrs. Lee jumps up from her chair and
says, “Well girls, I’ve got a secret too. I’m a
big gossip, and I have some very important phone
calls to make!”
Obasan on a Bus
An old Taiwanese obasan, Mrs. Lin, climbs onto a
crowded bus in Taipei. Standing front of a seated
young man she clutches her chest and says,
“Hello! If you knew what I had, you’d get up and
give me your seat.” The man looks at the old
woman, and feeling sympathy, gives up his seat.
The woman sitting beside the obasan takes out a
fan and starts to fan herself. Grasping her
chest, the bubby turns and says, “If you knew
what I have, you would give me that fan.” The
woman gives her the fan. Fifteen minutes later
the obasan gets up and says to the bus driver,
“Stop, I want to get off here.” The driver driver
says, “Sorry, Obasan Lin, but the bus stop is at
the next corner. I can’t stop in the middle of
the block.” Again, the old obasan clutches her
chest and says, “If you knew what I have, you
would let me out right here.” Worried, the bus
driver pulls over and lets her out. As she’s
climbing down the stairs, he asks, "Obasan Lin,
what is it, exactly, that you have? "
She smiles sweetly at him. “An old obasan’s
wisdom!” she says.
Taiwanese Mother Love
Mrs Chen, Mrs Lu and Mrs Kuo were sitting around
talking about how much their daughters love them.
Mrs Chen says, “My Su-mei loves me so much, she
just bought me an expensive new watch!”
Mrs. Lu says, “My Guei-ying loves me so much, she
just paid for me to spend a week’s vacation at an
exclusive hotel in Bali.”
Mrs Kuo says, “Yeah, yeah…that’s nice. But my
Sho-lin loves me even more than that. Every week
she goes to a mental health doctor in a fancy
part of Tienmou and pays him NT$10,000 a visit,
and all she talks about is me!”
What, Me Worry?
Mr Kao runs into Mr Lo on Najing East Road in
Taipei near the Westin Hotel. Mr Lo looks great,
although Mr Kao knows he’s in serious financial
trouble. Still, he smiles and says:
“Mr Lo! You look terrific! What’s your secret?”
“All that worry was really wearing me out, so I
hired somebody to worry for me.” says Mr Lo
“But how are you going to pay him?” asked Mr Kao.
“That’s not my problem. Let him worry!”
The Big Flood
A volcano erupts in the Pacific Ocean near
Taiwan with a colossal explosion. Scientists
predict that within three days, the ensuing giant
ocean waves will flood the entire Earth, and put
all land under water.
The Christian Pope appears on television and
encourages everyone to accept Jesus Christ so at
least their immortal souls will be saved.
The head Muslim imam also goes on TV to recommend
that everybody immediately convert to Islam, so
they may spend eternity with Allah.
The Dali Lama appears on TV and urges everyone to
become Buddhist, so they may reach Nirvana.
The president of Taiwan goes on national TV and
says, “We have three days to learn how to live