Taiwanese Making Fun of Foreigners in Chinese

I know that’s a broad topic but I have a few questions and a personal story (don’t worry, it’s funny). My first question is to those who understand Chinese well enough to know when you’re being made fun of: what do you do about it? Ever embarassed anyone wicked? Ever gotten into a fight because of it? Anyone here never done anything at all? Anybody never had it happen to them?

What kind of insults do they say about you? Funny? Mean?

Now for me…I was only in Taiwan for three short months :frowning: but I got to experience enough of this. Noone made fun of my physical appearance except to say that I’m tall, which I don’t think is an insult. Usually negative comments would be when I’m with my wife (Taiwanese born, raised in America), and she steps off to the bathroom or something. Then I’d hear the “just another foreigner with a Taiwanese girl” spiel. But there was this one time at the Aikido/Judo room at Shi-Da…

I studied TaeKwonDo for three years in the US, and we always bowed whenever we entered or left the training room…PERIOD. It wasn’t optional. I assumed this to be an Asian custom in martial arts training in general, so when I started taking the Aikido classes there I continued this practice (after a few times realized that nobody did it though, and stopped). Anyways, it was something like my second or third day there, and I got there super early to stretch out and practice my falls. While I was practicing a group of xiaojies came in and sat down on the dojo mat itself, and brought out food and drinks! That was enough of an insult to the dojo to piss me off something fierce, but they weren’t practioners so I let it go. As I stepped off the mat, I bowed and they looked at each then said, “Huanying Guanglin!” loudly and laughed. I used the restroom and came back, bowed again, and sure enough they all said “Huanying Guanglin!” again.

I showed no response whatsoever, because I realized it was a perfect opportunity for me to pretend I don’t understand Chinese. It worked. The conversation began with one asking the other, “Ni zai chuan dingziku ma?”, which means, “Are you wearing thongs?” Hahahaha, I could barely contain myself. The girl answered that she wears thongs almost always, and then some other girls said they do too. Hahahahaha, oh man it just got better. They started talking about their boyfriends, which quickly led to sneaking out of the dorm, sex, etc., all the while them thinking me oblivious.

As the time for class to start came closer, some more Aikido students came in, and I greeted them loudly in Mandarin, and we started up a conversation. I looked over at the astonished girls and gave my best “you’re busted” wink, and they turned red as beets and got out of their fast, unfortunately leaving quite a food mess behind :fume:

I think that was one of my better experiences in Taiwan :sunglasses:

Nice one!

Once in China two women were walking near me, when one said “Wa! Tade bizi hao gao!” (Wow! His nose is so big!) Now, I have a pretty big nose even from a Westerner’s perspective, but such statements don’t bother me. I decided to play with their minds. After she made that comment, I wheeled around and looked her in the eye and smiled. Then I turned away. She was surprised, and said to her friend: “Ta ting de dong ma?” (Can he understand?) So I just kept them guessing as to whether or not I could understand.

Yesterday on a bus two male high school students were discuissing in loud voices how “frightening” black people overseas are. Quote: “Guowai de heiren hao kongbu.” And he went on to make more racist comments and describe how black people would rob you. All the while they were oblivous to the fact that I could understand every word they were saying. A couple of other passengers seemed to recognize that I could understand them given the fact that I was giving the boys disapproving looks.

Xiamen, Mainland China, Summer: Mesheel in her bikini walking to the beach just off campus. 2 skinny teenagers in their swimming trunks (or were they really wearing their underwear?) passing by while saying into my face “Woah, ni kan laowai de naizi hen da!” (Look, that foreign chicks breast are really big). I should have hit them right away. I regret that I didn’t do it for the past 7 years…

These were just stupid little Mainland kids. But what do you guys think, when Hu Gua or Kang Kang make fun of foreigners on their silly TV shows? The speak Chinese and pronounce all the words in the first tone, as if every foreigner would speak like that. That really is getting on my nerves now…

Meigouren is probably the only one that still bothers me. Simply because it’s not true. A-doe-uh and dabizi are true when I compare my nose with Asian noses.

American English needs a better word for thong underwear than thongs as all aussie wear thongs on their feet at the beach.

In four years here I’ve occasionally had the ‘weird mocking accent’ thing where every syllable is spoken in the same tone! But that’s not quite the same as people saying stuff loud enough to hear but in the expectation that you won’t understand.

I’ve also occasionally had people chat about me in Taiwanese right in front of me! I don’t undertand much Taiwanese but can get a couple of the key words if people are not subtle.

But, in general, very very few people talk about me in front of me or within earshot. It’s not possible that I’m more attractive or less conspicuous than any other white person.

So, I occasionally wonder if there are some vibes or unconscious signals that those of us who speak some Mandarin give out alerting those nearby that you might understand Mandarin.

I’ve asked Taiwanese friends about this and a small minority claim to be able to tell from sight who who can probably speak Mandarin. Most say that’s nonsense!

[quote=“kategelan”]
I’ve asked Taiwanese friends about this and a small minority claim to be able to tell from sight who who can probably speak Mandarin.[/quote]That’s a classic. Maybe they should be teaching this valuable skill to Taiwan’s traffic cops. :laughing:

Oh, and if you think speaking up in Mandarin (or another dialect) after someone’s been badmouthing you here, go do this in the West. That really messes with their heads. :wink:

Reminds me of a time in Canada, some Taiwanese tourist were completely lost and I asked them, in Madarin, where they wanted to go. Sent them for a loop and guess what the response was: “Wa, neige waigwo ren hwei chang gwo yu!!!” :astonished:

CK

Monday evening I was returning to my scooter only to discover that a taxi had parked in front of it, blocking my exit. He was standing right behind his cab talking to another cab driver so I walked up to my scooter, gave him a smile and made it clear that I would be pulling out. He chose to smile back and ignore me otherwise, saying in Taiwanese to the other driver that when the “adogah” backed into his cab he would make a little extra money. I simply climbed onto my bike, smiled at him again and replied in Taiwanese that he really had nothing to worry about as I was a much better driver than Taiwanese cab drivers. Needless to say, he was shell shocked and as I manuevered my bike around his cab I got great pleasure in the fact that his friend was laughing at him. Felt good, I must admit!

It’s very funny
but what is adogah.?

[quote=“cassyk”]It’s very funny
but what is adogah.?[/quote]

pointy nose, taiwanese slang for foreigner.

my proudest teaching moment was in the same vein. subbed for a friend once, no chinese teacher. as is my normal practice, when i walked in i told everyone to stand up. one girl in the back whined “why” loudly in taiwanese, fortunately i was able to answer “because i said so” loudly and immediately in said dialect :slight_smile: not a peep after that i tell you :slight_smile:

In Australia. Coming down in a lift with two friends. One tall, one black. Two Taiwanese guys in the elevator. One of them said something about the tall guy and the black monkey, then started laughing. We could all understand them. We started laughing too. They realised what was up and tried to apologise. I asked them which floor they were getting off at, and my friends were just glaring at them. We followed them for a bit to scare them, asking where they lived etc. they just kept apologising. Pretty fun.

Usually I just get the non-offensive stuff… just people assuming you won’t be able to understand. Like when I was trying on a hat in a shop and sales assistant asked her co-worker “Yingwen zenme jiang ‘jingzi’?”. I replied “mirror”. The co-worker realised the joke straight away and starting teasing her, but it took her about 30 seconds to realise what was going on. Or if I go into a shop people don’t even speak just start pointing at stuff. That’s just scary when that happens.

The most recent thing that happened was when I was eating in the cafeteria by myself. I was eating pretty fast/ sloppily, the guy at the table next to me said “Look at that foreigner!” I immediately started to glare at him, and anyone else who dared following his advice. He said something about having to go and do something to his friends, even though he hadn’t finished eating and quickly left with me glaring at him the whole time.

[quote=“tetsuo500”]In Australia. Coming down in a lift with two friends. One tall, one black. Two Taiwanese guys in the elevator. One of them said something about the tall guy and the black monkey, then started laughing. We could all understand them. We started laughing too. They realised what was up and tried to apologise. I asked them which floor they were getting off at, and my friends were just glaring at them. We followed them for a bit to scare them, asking where they lived etc. they just kept apologising. Pretty fun.

Usually I just get the non-offensive stuff… just people assuming you won’t be able to understand. Like when I was trying on a hat in a shop and sales assistant asked her co-worker “Yingwen zenme jiang ‘jingzi’?”. I replied “mirror”. The co-worker realised the joke straight away and starting teasing her, but it took her about 30 seconds to realise what was going on. Or if I go into a shop people don’t even speak just start pointing at stuff. That’s just scary when that happens.

The most recent thing that happened was when I was eating in the cafeteria by myself. I was eating pretty fast/ sloppily, the guy at the table next to me said “Look at that foreigner!” I immediately started to glare at him, and anyone else who dared following his advice. He said something about having to go and do something to his friends, even though he hadn’t finished eating and quickly left with me glaring at him the whole time.[/quote]you’re so funny and on the other scary.

Stuff like this does not happen often in Taiwna, but in China it’s daily life, at least was 7 years ago. Hasn’t much changed since then, though…

Mesheel in perfectly understandable Chinese on a bad hair day: “How much is this one?”
Guy at the food stall: Holding 4 finges up
Mesheel: “Didn’t I just ask you, how much it was in Chinese? Talk to me!”
Guy: “Huh” Still pointing 4 fingers up
Mesheel: “If you don’t talk, I’m not going to buy it!”
Guy silently: “Sishi kuai qianr”
Mesheel: “See, I didn’t eat you. Did I?” and walked away.

Mesheel on a good hair day just points up 1 finger, gives the guy 10 RMB and walks away happily.

Haven’t had it so much here - yet - but in HK on the buses I used to get “sei gwailo” (si guailao - roughly “gaisi de laowai”, “goddamned foreigner”) all the time, behind my back and to my face. Even better, since a large swathe of the expat community in HK could barely say “hello” in Cantonese, when I looked at them and said “I heard that” in a totally calm voice in Cantonese, they’d bloody near shit themselves. Comedy gold :laughing:

It seems that some Taiwanese people can’t believe that a foreigner can learn their language. I don’t understand this kind of thinking. :noway:

Well, there’s a reason why most Taiwanese people think most foreigners in Taiwan can’t speak or understand Mandarin. Not that it excuses speaking about people who are within earshot in a foreign language. Goes back to the relatively low awareness Taiwanese people have of cultural norms outside of their own hometowns.

What I find hilarious are those situations in which I am speaking Mandarin to a local person and he can’t make the mental leap between the media-generated stereotype that none of us can speak good Mandarin, and the fact that the foreigner standing in front of him is matching him phrase for phrase in his native tongue.

The exception to the media stereotype is the Mormon missionaries (and to some extent, the missionaries of other denominations), who are thought to have exceptional Mandarin and Taiwanese language skills. The truth is that about 20% of the Mormon missionaries can speak excellent Mandarin, the rest struggling once the conversation goes beyond church doctrine or small talk. Maybe 30% can read the Bible in Mandarin. During my two years here as a Mormon missionary, I met over 300 missionaries. Only two of them could speak Taiwanese with any degree of proficiency.

Ignorantly whining about someone in your native language, assuming that the object of your complaints doesn’t understand you isn’t reserved to only the Taiwanese.

Or they can’t believe you studied it mostly in the States, as if the greater China area is the only place in the world that offers Chinese lessons. And don’t get me started on “wow…you can use chopsticks!”, despite the fact that even a friggin’ four-year-old can use 'em.

[quote=“funkymonkey”]It seems that some Taiwanese people can’t believe that a foreigner can learn their language. I don’t understand this kind of thinking. :noway:[/quote]they are not just broad on languages.they would’nt
think they can do it by thmeselves either.
but in terms of money making foreigner must learn their trick.

Well, I guess given the fact, that most Taiwanese/Chinese can’t speak proper English after years and years of privat English lessons it’s no wonder that they freak out when a foreigner speaks proper Chinese. :laughing: