As a white American married to a Taiwanese born American husband, I am seeking some advice from those who are better versed in Taiwanese culture.
I do not think my mother-in-law likes me and I feel she tries to control my husband and I. He is an only child so I guess it is difficult for her, however I still find it hard to deal with her.
She consults a fortune-teller for important dates, such as the date that we got married on etc… and I don’t have a problem with this at all.
However, my husband and I were about to put an offer in on a piece of land and she expressed that she did not feel it was the right time and we should wait a year or so. My husband explained our reasoning and that we still planned to go ahead, despite her reservations. She said this was our choice.
However, subsequently, later that same day she visited the fortune teller (whom she pays) and he said that if was not a good time for us to buy land and we should wait a year…… and that if we ignore this advice, something bad will happen. My husband is therefore saying we must wait a year, as he is fearful if we do not then something bad will happen to our son.
This seems like a big coincidence to me - that the fortune teller just so happened to say exactly the same thing as my m-in-law. In the past when family members have brought properties, they have consulted him re feng shui etc but never about when a good time to buy is.
Am I being too cynical??? Any opinions gratefully received.
No you’ve figured out how it works. I get the ‘ji gong shuo’ stuff all the time, fortunately ‘ji gong’ is pretty nice in our local temple and seems to say the right things.
Only you know how much compromising you want to take. You could wait a year if it’s not a big difference, but if you’ve got a reason to speed things up, you can also push it. You can also play this game back and visit another fortune-teller/medium/pray to the spirits…who tell now is the right time as things have changed since um…last Tuesday.
By the way, is this your cash, your husbands or the parents cash?
It is her cash and she seems to know him very well - I think he is a kind of family friend. We don’t live with her - she is based in Taiwan and we are overseas.
I say you sit your husband down when you have time and explain to him what the JREF Million Dollar Challenge is. Maybe even show him some Youtube videos of fakes being exposed by Randi.
Anyone who can prove that they have supernatural powers (to predict the future, find water with a stick - no digging allowed . . . ) can demonstrate their powers and win a million bucks. The One Million Dollar Paranormal Challenge has been around for decades. People keep claiming to be able to tell your future for under $100, yet no one will/can do it for a million.
Since no one has ever claimed this fortune, I think this is the most powerful way to plant a seed of doubt that might eventually convert people to reason. Hey! Maybe that fortune teller friend can claim it and help you buy your property. Suggest this to your husband and mother-in-law.
*There are plenty of very logical people who think now is the wrong time to buy real estate in Taiwan. I’m one of them.
Your MIL doesn’t (seem to) like you.
She is controlling.
Your husband is an only child who does what Mommy says.
It is her cash and she seems to know him very well - I think he is a kind of family friend. We don’t live with her - she is based in Taiwan and we are overseas.[/quote]
Since the cash is hers and your husband is the only child she has, she will probably tell him to buy a home in Taiwan (near her of course), not in the States. So since the money belong to your MIL, sorry you dont have much to say in this matter. And to not complicate her life she will tell you and the hubbie that the idea is from the fortune teller so your relationship with MIL will not get sour.
Power play from the MIL. Her cash, her rules. You move to Taiwan with the husband you better not live in or too close to the MILs. You should think about what job you will do and can you be financially independent. Your husband is exhibiting classic Taiwan eldest son syndrome.
It is her cash and she seems to know him very well - I think he is a kind of family friend. We don’t live with her - she is based in Taiwan and we are overseas.[/quote]
I think I’m seeing a confusion in “It is her cash”. I believe (might be wrong, but this is how I’ve read this thread) that the OP is referring to the cash paying for the fortune teller, not for purchasing the land.
Im not sure about the other stuff but from my experience the fortune tellers tell the moms exactly what they want to hear. My ex gfs mum didn’t like me all that much and everything the fortune teller said was in line with that.
Exactly. A fortune teller’s skill is cold reading and should get to know his customers and tell them what they like to hear. I know James Randi would agree. But the dirty thing is, if something bad does happen, the person who insisted going against the fortune teller’s advice will get the blame for the bad thing.
To some people the “Feng Sui” and “fortune telling” are simply a business or scam. In Christianity, it is consider as witchcraft (or against God’s will).
Indeed, there are some people put all their faith on Feng Sui than on God. Well, not everyone here is Christian, maybe some are Muslim or Atheist and etc.
Anyway, being a married couple, do not let others control your decision/future plans and etc. You can ask some advises or ideas (no problem with that) but still at the end of the day it is you(and your husband) should decides and nobody else. You guys can explain your side to her (MIL) in polite ways. But most of the time (in reality), this is hard to do if the couples lives in the In-law’s house.
The golden rule applies here: she who has the gold makes the rules. It’s her cash. If it was yours, I would recommend you ignore the dictates of the scam artist… I mean the fortune teller.
