Yeah you are definitely right about Taiwanese man. No matter how grown up they are, they still want their mother’s breast milk.
They expect the female to cut out all ties from her own family but the man won’t do the same.
it is tough marrying to a Taiwanese man. But I soon learned to find my own voice and chase that wicked woman away. You just have to stand on your ground and prepare to divorce but at least you are being heard. For the 1st time scolding his parents off, I don’t deny I actually felt so good about it.
Till this day, they never come back to my country and I never see or hear from them again. They are actually nothing but cowards.
Heard that story a hundred times Tommy.
The above poster is getting victim blamed for atrocious treatment, well done for getting out of a shitty situation .
wow is this thread still alive. I’m a Taiwanese female currently dating a Taiwanese man as well. We are both pretty westernized but both our families are one of those ‘traditional Taiwanese families’. My father had forced my sibling to break up with their partner for pointless reasons as well, so I had some mental preparation going into the relationship to be hated by his parents. And needless to say, I am. The first time I met them, the mother was clearly acting cold and distant towards me and straight out asked very sensitive questions - trying to scope out my family wealth background as if wealth was the only thing that determined who I am as a person. My partner later revealed to me (after I forced him to tell me) what she had said about me. And it was things like “shes ugly” and “she’s too dumb”. Their family is indeed more elite then the ‘typical’ family, and with my partner being the only male, and a young doctor, their family have extra high expectations for him. I am somewhat desensitized to all this drama as I am Taiwanese and had very much expected this treatment. But actually experiencing it has caused so much stress in the relationship - not knowing what to expect and the uncertainty of when his parents will finally warm up to me, or when we will break up. Taiwanese families… so troublesome hahahaha. You really have to know how to play the game. Honestly, Taiwanese girls who grew up in Taiwan are so good at this these days.
@wendy023, welcome to the club
your english is excellent. hope all goes well with the family affair. everyone has a story to tell about their own situation
you make it sound rough for taiwanese girls, but hey, lets not pretend girls here do not think ‘practically’ when choosing a mate just as their parents do.
If anything it’s probably easier to win over parents now than it was 20 or 30 years ago.
I sympathize with Wendy though. My ex-fiancée’s bitch of a mom forced us to split when I was living in Korea, despite giving her family expensive gifts, treating her daughter like a princess, etc. So it’s not just Taiwan, but Korea, Japan and China too where this shit happens. Any Confucian culture. I should thank that rat-faced shrew though, since I ended up with someone a thousand times better in the end. And the parents loved me from the start.
There are parents/people like this everywhere in the world, but unfortunately there’s a higher incidence of them in countries where this sort of behavior is normalized.
Can’t speak for Korea, Japan, etc. but it’s probably also got something to do with the fact that there’s generally more in-law interaction in this culture, especially if you’re a woman marrying someone’s son. You’re basically joining the family as their daughter and all that.
Black people have it even worse. Much worse, unfortunately.
EDIT: oh I misread. I thought you were talking about black people getting accepted by in-laws in Korea and Japan. But yes, black and white mixed couples sometimes have trouble with their in-laws in the US as well. From both sides.
You’re joining them as a slave and or the one who will get pregnant (with the help of Jr) and provide them with offspring (male of course). Things have progressed here, but I’ve heard some pretty horrible nightmare stories that didn’t happen too long ago. Also, it’s much worse in the south.
This might sound crazy, and I know it’s easier said then done. Perhaps at a certain point, a direct confrontation with the parents is a good idea if you want things to work. It’s not like a secret the parents don’t like you, maybe ask why and what you can do to change that. If it’s something reasonable and you can do…why not? If it’s something ridiculous, I guess you just know thats just going to be how it is and go from there.
I’ve met people from the south who seem quite open minded so obviously it’s not everyone. That said, I’ve met some people here in Taipei and the stories are shocking. My friend’s aunt had to give birth in a bathtub because the baby was a girl. When she had a boy, it was delivered in a hospital. She was made to clean the house even while pregnant (because it was a girl). When she had the boy, nothing. The only time she was allowed to visit her family was for a few hours during lunar new year. The mother in law drove her to her family’s house and waited outside. When time was up, the horn was honked and she had to return.
I have a friend who is getting married soon. Both mothers are completely nuts. They don’t want their kids marrying each other because both claim fortune tellers told them so. One mother is angry with the other because she allowed her husband to show up at a lunch without a tie. They treat their daughter like a servant even though she has a masters degree in law and works for the government. She was forced to write her brothers college essay because he’s too dumb. She had to clean the house when his friends came over for a special party. Her future husband will have to pay her family money because that’s what it cost them to raise her. This shit is never ending.
