Is this true?
In this breaking news story three of Taiwan’s backpacking community have volunteered their services to be on the frontline of the reconstruction in Iraq. Specially selected by the US Department of Defense for their unwavering commitment and support of the War on Iraq, the three individuals wish only to be known, somewhat bizarrely, by their Segue website internet handles as Blueface666, Okami, and tigerman.
The three Mullahs as they have been referred to by their closest associates-not because of their affiliation with any branch of Islam, but for the time each has spent over their marijuana bowls- shall be leaving Taiwan this weekend on a direct flight to Baghdad.
Blueface666 turned out in full biker attire including a dirty tweetybird bandana, Lee cut offs, a handlebar mustache complimented by a three day growth, said that he and his partners had all had combat boots specially designed with tread prints for leaving that unmistakable US footprint on the asses of those loafing Iraqi ragheads. By way of demonstration Blueface666 took to our witless Chinese cameraman leaving a little reminder on his dungarees with a US Flag and an insignia which read “Democracy Rules your Ass”. Blueface explained the others had insignias, which read, “Freedom for Ragheads”, and “Your Oil my Ass”.
Tigerman explained further that each of the volunteers had already been assigned roles in the reconstruction of Iraq. Owing perhaps to being subject to stupefying heat all their lives your average Iraqi just doesn’t seem to get it in terms of what freedom means and how to enjoy it. Okami will fill the role of talking down the Mullahs not to them, through them or with them, as tigerman explains, but over them in his favored loud style to this end he has been assigned a soapbox and non-battery operated megaphone. I noticed that he had scribbled the words “Read my lips” on its side.
Blueface666 has multiple roles not the least of which will be maintaining the three Harley choppers assigned to the team by the State Department which Blueface, without the slightest hint of irony, told me had been named “Faith, Hope, and Charity”. In addition, Blueface will be on hand to dismantle any WMD’s the team feels certain they will discover hidden in Saddam’s underpants draw.
Tigerman as it turns out is on board for cultural reasons. He wants to learn more about the Sumerian culture and why it f#@$ed up so bad. What is it with these people that they would prefer to let themselves be subjugated by a madman rather than lay down their lives in defense of their own freedom. Are they morons or what?! Typical we in the US have to get there and show them what for first and then apply the trickle down theory. Trickle down freedom it is called. Much the same principle as Reagonomics where all the freedom gathers at the top and slowly trickles down to the masses. We feed it to them bit by bit only a fool would give them the whole cake. They are morons, I tell you. They’d eat the whole cake in a nanosecond and then start biting at the hand that feeds them. Who could stand for that?
Well let’s wish these three lads all the best in their new adventure, and thank them for the contribution they have made to our lives here in Taiwan.