I’m probably opening up an entirely new can of worms here…
My employer is Gram!
Let the *****ing about Gram English Schools commence!
FACISTS! TROGLODYTES! RAPISTS! “They killed my grandma!” THEY’RE THE MAIN SUPPLIER OF PUPPIES FOR CONSUMPTION IN TAIWAN! NE’ER DO WELLS! CHILD MOLESTORS!
The research I’ve done on Gram comes to this: Some teachers have a problem with Gram. On one greylist, a fellow put it thusly (paraphrased): “I was sitting in the Teachers Lounge reading a paper and my boss told me to do some prep work. I told her I already had! How long does it take to make flashcards? She then told me that if I’m not doing anything to move the potted plants!” Who do we trust? The person who considers flash cards to be useful learning tools and the logical end of his teaching responsibility or the boss? The fellow was eventually fired for not smiling enough, which he claims was “just [his] style.” The other complaints against Gram seemed similarly questionable, as does most of the negative feedback that I’ve heard on various schools in general. People seem to want to make very little effort, to spend very little time doing anything that they don’t want to do, and expect to be paid promptly and generously for their passive aggression.
And they’re only paying me $50,000/month - SALARIED! GASP! Rip-off! SHYLOCKS! That’s only $420 an hour for your 20hours teaching and 10hours prep time! I deserve more! I’ve never done it before but I deserve more!
They’ve agreed to help me get an ARC. Liars! Won’t happen! I might as well get a place in Hong Kong and sublease it for 29 days a month!
They’ve also told me that I might get a raise, upon review, after 3 months. IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN! I used to make really FANCY flashcards and they didn’t give me no stinking raise!
They’ve told me I’ll be teaching Junior High kids. BUT THEY’LL GIVE YOU CHILDREN IN THE WOMB! You’ll be teaching through a straw to the as-yet unborn!
They’re picking me up from the airport. HAHA! You fell for the oldest trick in the book! You’ll get there and sit, dejected, for ten hours and even THEN they’ll only send a fellow with a helper monkey and you’ll have to pay him $400 just for music from a hand-turned monkey organ!
I wonder if you aren’t all being a bit paternalistic? If I wanted to take the easy route, I’d not be going to Taiwan. If I wanted to learn Chinese I’d be going to China. If I wanted Pizza Hut I’d stay in America. If I wanted scenery I’d go back to Connemara. If I wanted to be dry, I’d go to Morocco. I’m looking for one years worth of experience in the field in which I intend on going to grad school in the fall of 2002. That’s it. Not fun. Not joy. Not money. Not a place to settle down. Not to build up a strong rapport with a cadre of Taiwanese businessmen. Not photo ops. Not women. Not booze. Not inner peace. Not sit-down restaurants. Please stop assuming your priorities to be the same as mine.
I also wonder how so many people manage to live in Keelung (350,000?) if it’s so rotten. Are you all claiming that the people of Keelung are stupid, or bull-headed, or obstinate, or… ? Doesn’t that seem to be painting with a rather broad brush? No wonder they’re racist!
I think Keelung probably just needs a hug, and when I get there, I’m going to ignore the shouts of “SLUT-HUGGER!” and try to give a nice big hug to all of those poor stupid Keelungers who aren’t even clever enough to know that their city is rubbish. I’m going to make umbrellas with smiley faces and inspirational messages on them and hand them out to the children, because they need the most love of all. Maybe I’ll not try and learn Chinese at all, and do my best to give free English lessons to the downtrodden and financially insecure - Thomas Englishseed!
Or, maybe I’ll just quit trying, quit caring, find some simple, stupid, obstinate, bull-headed, young Taiwanese girl to push around, have rough sex, drink lots of Chivas, complain about the rain and the meanies who won’t be nice to me, hole up in some dingy bar with other miserable expats and think longingly of the St. Louis Cardinals.
I can only hope Keelung is 1/10th as horrible as you all say! When god gives you acid rain, make acid washed jeans, I say!
stloutom@hotmail.com
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