Teachers vs. "Teachers", etc

Hey, Mr. StLouTom.

My first year in Taiwan was in Keelung. I lived in the night market which was romantic. One night, a group of five men broke into my room at about 3:30 in the morning. They said they were the police and they were looking for a prostitute. The busted down my door, so it was hard for me to get back to sleep that night. Later I got a strange skin disease that still hasn’t gone away.

I learned Chinese in Keelung with the “Teach Yourself Chinese” book and tape by Elizabeth Scurfield. When accompanied by a book about how to write traditional characters, it is a truly excellent book and you can learn Mandarin very well from it.

Unfortunately, the language of preference in Keelung is Taiwanese…
But anyway, you can get a TV and maybe find some friends. But, on the average, people aren’t very friendly in Keelung. It’s a very conservative and religious town. People might call your girlfriend a “slut” if you are simply walking down the street with her.

But the night market is beautiful. And maybe you’ll like it.

It rains all the time… acid rain… but it’s the romantic kind of acid rain that inspired people like Jimmy Hendrix. If Keelung sucks too much - move to Taichung!

I someday want to live in Thailand. I’m envious, man!

Love,
Rev. Hellizabeth Buttcracker Jackinoff
(pronounced “yockinoff”)

Oh, by the way, Mr. Tom…

If you want to learn Chinese by speaking with the locals… prepare to do some head-butting… or, as I call it, language-butting. They’ll come at you with English and you’ll come back in Chinese and, if you’re not careful, feelings might get hurt… their feelings or your feelings, I’m not sure. English is very well promoted here and a lot of people take it very seriously - and a lot of people will only see you as an English teacher even during your free time. So if you end up butting heads - then good luck - and don’t hurt any feelings!

Hellizabeth

I’ve been thinking about that, actually…

I’m fairly certain that I remember enough from my Highschool Deutsch classes to be able to fake German Businessman pretty easily. Enough so to cover my *** should I have a run-in with a German speaking Taiwanese person, at least. Perdon, mi amiga, no entiendo. I dunno - I’ve been working on a few things.

I’d do better in Thai, but I can’t imagine the story I’d need in order to explain away my Thainess vis a vis my 250lb. 6’2" aryan bulk.

Buying a left-handed guitar and praying for rain,
Tom


stloutom@hotmail.com
aol im:sumimasenator

The only hate I’m seeing here is coming from YOU, Mr. StLouis. These people are speaking from experience. No matter, I have some suggestions for you, for when you realize you’ve made a right old cock-up (hey Hellizabeth, can I say cock here?) and decide to really learn some Chinese.
Write these placenames down. Sanchung, Wugu, Tucheng. THey’re all really great places that I’m sure you’ll love even more than Keelung. By the way, you’ll find very little TESOL information relating to teaching in Keelung, for the reasons already set forth in previous posts.

Just wanna tell you the only reason I mentioned the Pizza Hut was because most English teachers have to eat dinner after 8 or 9pm, and because Keelung is so conservative, it’s about the only sit-down restaurant open past 9pm…and being too proud to say that you’d eat at Pizza Hut is saying that you actually care, and that means it’s a big deal, and it’s not, because if you really live here, you’re cool about anything. You won’t feel insecure about eating American food if you really are living here, because you can eat anything…whatever. I don’t ever eat Pizza Hut where I live now, but I sure did in Keelung…And believe me, comparing Keelung’s Chinese food to Pizza Hut, it’s not that bad.

I don’t think people here are trying to make you feel bad, it’s just that Taiwan has some really cool places, and Keelung isn’t one of them.

But whatever, it’s your choice. And I don’t see anyone here as bitter, I see them as really knowing what they’re talking about. But, it’s up to you.

Last post from StLouTom on the topic of Keelung, Chinese Instruction, or fast food:

Frankly, I do not care about your collective thoughts on Keelung. My intent here was not to find out about keen discos or pubs that play baseball games. It was not to try and find support for my geographical choices. It was not an attempt to assuage my fears of moving to a big-bad dirty rainy Taiwanese port city. It was not trying to gauge the broad social climate of the city in relation to racism. If you’re feeling imaginative, try re-reading the initial post and striking the word “Keelung” from it. Then reply to the matter at hand.

My Chinese will be fine without your structure.

I do not eat Pizza Hut because there are far better pizzas, not because it embodies some American ideal which I am trying to flee.

This place needs an enema.


stloutom@hotmail.com
aol im:sumimasenator

Dudes!

Leave StLube alone! Can’t you see you’re just totally ruining his China experience already?

I turn my head away from all of you like I don’t even see you, man!

Yeah, if you had omitted Keelung or written a different place name, no one would be badgering you like this, because if you were going anywhere else, no one would try to warn you not to go there.

Good luck finding better pizza in Keelung.

And, your complaint about the character of the posts here, I think you read some posts before you posted yours, so I think you had some idea of the content of this website, if you come to a discussion forum, unfortunately, you can’t dictate what other people will say or what their response will be. I think that’s good, not bad. Because when people aren’t afraid the other person knows who they are, they can talk more freely. And that’s a good thing, not a bad thing.

PS, there is no TESOL teaching in Keelung, but there is in Taipei. Whatever, you can find all this out when you get here and make your own mistakes, sometimes we have to experience things to really understand. It’s good. Keelung. Boot camp. Concentration camp. You’ll grow up a lot. I did.

StLouTom, please take this post in the spirit in which it is intended. I took your advice and returned to the original few posts, deleting the word Keelung.
Now, “as a rookie” (your words), you might want to ponder this:
There are tens of thousands of foreigners living and working in Taiwan. Many thousands of these people are teaching English, and thousands of them are very highly qualified, with many years of theoretical and practical experience. I know that several of the more reputable schools and other institutions regularly hire highly qualified and experienced teachers from overseas.
In your case, I’m smelling a very large and suspicious-looking rat. I’m asking myself why this individual is willing to go to the trouble and expense of an overseas hire of a totally unqualified very recent graduate with no experience.
Disregard the location of the job, and 15 years of local experience tells me that something doesn’t jibe here.
Who exactly is hiring you? You might consider using this board to get a little background on the school you’re going to work in. By the way, if you’re looking for TESOL info, you might try Dave’s ESL Kitchen (web address, anyone?), although be warned – you’ll find many more horror stories about Keelung.
Oh, and one more thing – enjoy your stay in Taiwan!

Is your new employer furnishing you with a work permit? If he is not, you will be working illegally and subject to arrest and deportation. You will find it very difficult if not impossible to obtain a student visa if you are resident in Keelung, as there are no Chinese schools there. This means you will be here on a tourist visa, so you can look forward to regular visa runs every month or so, always running the risk of your application being denied. I believe tourist visas, plus extensions, are good for only a few months. Make sure you keep all bank receipts, as you will have to prove you have not been earning in Taiwan. These trips typically cost around NT$10,000 or more, so this should be factored into your finances.
If on the other hand, your employer is offering you a work permit, you will be entitled to apply for an Alien Resident Card, which means you can work legally. These are typically good for a year. However, from the tone of your posts, you sound like a fairly bull-headed, opinionated kind of guy (no offense intended) and might well find it difficult to knuckle under to a boss who may appear to “a rookie” straight out of college to be illogical or even downright stupid.
If you therefore decide to break your contract and leave his employ, he is within his rights to inform the Education Ministry, which will place your name on an employment blacklist. This means that no school will be able to legally employ you (for how long is it, folks? One year or five years?).
Now, perhaps your future boss has been up front and has told you all of this, but… I’m guessing not.
You are welcome to make use of this information as you see fit, but I would suggest that, for someone in your position, forewarned is most definitely forearmed.

A lost person who will not look at a map.
A backpacker in a new town looking for a place to stay who will not consult any of the other travelers who have already found a place to stay – he ends up wandering around fighting off touts.
A boy who puts his hand on the stove even though his mother told him it would burn him.

Know the type?

I would also like to know what school you got hooked up with. “Happy-Lucky Children’s Garden of Harmony” or something?
Well, good luck Tom. Don’t be afraid to eat crow.

You can delete this topic, Tom, as you started it. You ARE finished with it, aren’t you?

I’m probably opening up an entirely new can of worms here…

My employer is Gram!

Let the *****ing about Gram English Schools commence!

FACISTS! TROGLODYTES! RAPISTS! “They killed my grandma!” THEY’RE THE MAIN SUPPLIER OF PUPPIES FOR CONSUMPTION IN TAIWAN! NE’ER DO WELLS! CHILD MOLESTORS!

The research I’ve done on Gram comes to this: Some teachers have a problem with Gram. On one greylist, a fellow put it thusly (paraphrased): “I was sitting in the Teachers Lounge reading a paper and my boss told me to do some prep work. I told her I already had! How long does it take to make flashcards? She then told me that if I’m not doing anything to move the potted plants!” Who do we trust? The person who considers flash cards to be useful learning tools and the logical end of his teaching responsibility or the boss? The fellow was eventually fired for not smiling enough, which he claims was “just [his] style.” The other complaints against Gram seemed similarly questionable, as does most of the negative feedback that I’ve heard on various schools in general. People seem to want to make very little effort, to spend very little time doing anything that they don’t want to do, and expect to be paid promptly and generously for their passive aggression.

And they’re only paying me $50,000/month - SALARIED! GASP! Rip-off! SHYLOCKS! That’s only $420 an hour for your 20hours teaching and 10hours prep time! I deserve more! I’ve never done it before but I deserve more!

They’ve agreed to help me get an ARC. Liars! Won’t happen! I might as well get a place in Hong Kong and sublease it for 29 days a month!

They’ve also told me that I might get a raise, upon review, after 3 months. IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN! I used to make really FANCY flashcards and they didn’t give me no stinking raise!

They’ve told me I’ll be teaching Junior High kids. BUT THEY’LL GIVE YOU CHILDREN IN THE WOMB! You’ll be teaching through a straw to the as-yet unborn!

They’re picking me up from the airport. HAHA! You fell for the oldest trick in the book! You’ll get there and sit, dejected, for ten hours and even THEN they’ll only send a fellow with a helper monkey and you’ll have to pay him $400 just for music from a hand-turned monkey organ!

I wonder if you aren’t all being a bit paternalistic? If I wanted to take the easy route, I’d not be going to Taiwan. If I wanted to learn Chinese I’d be going to China. If I wanted Pizza Hut I’d stay in America. If I wanted scenery I’d go back to Connemara. If I wanted to be dry, I’d go to Morocco. I’m looking for one years worth of experience in the field in which I intend on going to grad school in the fall of 2002. That’s it. Not fun. Not joy. Not money. Not a place to settle down. Not to build up a strong rapport with a cadre of Taiwanese businessmen. Not photo ops. Not women. Not booze. Not inner peace. Not sit-down restaurants. Please stop assuming your priorities to be the same as mine.

I also wonder how so many people manage to live in Keelung (350,000?) if it’s so rotten. Are you all claiming that the people of Keelung are stupid, or bull-headed, or obstinate, or… ? Doesn’t that seem to be painting with a rather broad brush? No wonder they’re racist!

I think Keelung probably just needs a hug, and when I get there, I’m going to ignore the shouts of “SLUT-HUGGER!” and try to give a nice big hug to all of those poor stupid Keelungers who aren’t even clever enough to know that their city is rubbish. I’m going to make umbrellas with smiley faces and inspirational messages on them and hand them out to the children, because they need the most love of all. Maybe I’ll not try and learn Chinese at all, and do my best to give free English lessons to the downtrodden and financially insecure - Thomas Englishseed!

Or, maybe I’ll just quit trying, quit caring, find some simple, stupid, obstinate, bull-headed, young Taiwanese girl to push around, have rough sex, drink lots of Chivas, complain about the rain and the meanies who won’t be nice to me, hole up in some dingy bar with other miserable expats and think longingly of the St. Louis Cardinals.

I can only hope Keelung is 1/10th as horrible as you all say! When god gives you acid rain, make acid washed jeans, I say!


stloutom@hotmail.com
aol im:sumimasenator

I knew you couldn’t stay away.

Really, the people who have responded to you (Tom) are, I believe, honestly trying to help you avoid making a decision that will almost certainly be one you regret. I have been here since the summer of 1985 (there, now everyone knows) and I don’t sit around looking at chat rooms. I only just discovered this one and it is the first I have ever posted on.
No one expects you to take the hard road

Just ignore this guy. This guy is pretensious and just looking for you to write, so that he can feel can continue to feel that he is on some grand, glorious trip.

Anyone ever see the kind of foreigner that walks down the street? If you give him/her a smile or a little wave, he turns his head and ignores you, as if you’re ruining his experience in TW by just walking on the same street and being friendly. That is this guy.

Let him continue to feel that he is some kind of missionary. After sometime (years), he just might figure out he shouldn’t have been so arrogant.

Look at his posts, don’t you get the feeling that he is just looking for an arguement? If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have picked “rant & rave” to create this topic, would he? He should have made this topic in Living in Taiwan. He knew what was being posted here and he decided to rattle a few chains.

Just stop posting and let this topic fall off.