The darnest things parents say

So, today while I’m teaching my reading class we come across a word they need to look up in their dictionaries. Seawall. So, in this class all the kids have a variety of dictionaries from Children’s dictionary with the dumb pictures right up to the Far East editions (the best ones for my level). So, one smart girl tells me that she can’t find the word in her dictionary. I told her don’t worry because her dictionary wouldn’t have it because of it’s size. She had the picture dictionary. I suggested that she ask her mom to get her a Far East dictionary or similar because,of course, as we all know they have more words. What does she tell me?

Mommy said that the words are too small and that it will hurt my eyes :astonished: :noway:

Mind you this girl already has glasses.

So what’s the darnest thing your kid’s parents have told your kids about learning?

“You don’t need to study. It’s only English class.”

An old favourite of mine was:

“Holding a pencil will cause abnormal development in a child’s hand.”

“Don’t say ‘no’ to my child - it will harm her psychologically”
“My son was a perfectly happy high-achiever until you taught him” Child in question was a lazy little sh*t that found breathing a challenge.
“Can’t you just teach nice things”
“I can’t come in to talk to you at school because of the dangerous radiation from the school photocopiers”

Ah, our parents are afraid of the “radiation” from the microwaves used to heat up lunches. Nevermind the cell phones they buy for their kids.

“My son is allegic to cold water.” Even the water from the coolers (at room temperature) were too cold so the TA’s had to get hot water from the kitchen and mix it with some of the water from the water cooler…in a little cup that held about 50 cc of water…every freaking time the kid wanted some water to drink. Didn’t take long before he learned to get used to room temperature water.

[quote=“ImaniOU”]Ah, our parents are afraid of the “radiation” from the microwaves used to heat up lunches. Nevermind the cell phones they buy for their kids.
[/quote]

This is the second post about ‘radiation’. I am wondering, do these parents actually think that more children die from ‘radiation’ poisoning than from, umm lets say, riding on a scooter with out a helmet??!?!?! :wink: :unamused:

Nama, I think the word is ‘darnDest’ not ‘darnest,’ but I have been known to be wrong…

“My child should be allowed to ‘explore’ English at her own pace. If she feels that phonics are unneccesary then they are unneccesary.” Her 9 year old daughter was unsurprisingly a little bitch. Mom couldn’t understand why ‘Jenny’ had to learn at the same pace as the other students.

My standard, unspoken, reply is, “It’s not my fault you are a retard, but it is certainly my problem.”

[quote=“TomHill”]Nama, I think the word is ‘darnDest’ not ‘darnest,’ but I have been known to be wrong…
[/quote]

Hell, just change it to The dammest things parents say.

I was watching Oprah tonight and she was interviewing women from around the world. The interesting thing was all of the women from Asia, except S.Korea (don’t know why, not suggesting or implying any thing) their grammar was flawless. I can’t understand why Taiwan isn’t able to be in that same boat. Anyone care to explain. What frustrates me even more, is that I am teaching kids of American or European college educated parents. WTF?

[quote=“Namahottie”]

Hell, just change it to The dammest things parents say. quote]

I hate to say it, but that would have to be Dammedest not ‘dammest.’ You gotta get that D in there! :smiley:

[quote=“Namahottie”]I was watching Oprah tonight and she was interviewing women from around the world. The interesting thing was all of the women from Asia, except S.Korea (don’t know why, not suggesting or implying any thing) their grammar was flawless. I can’t understand why Taiwan isn’t able to be in that same boat. Anyone care to explain. What frustrates me even more, is that I am teaching kids of American or European college educated parents. WTF?[/quote]I don’t think that this small sample was typical in the slightest. I know people, mostly university graduates, from all the major Asian countries and many other countries, and they all have “grammar problems” to some extent. If you get the chance to look at Swan and Smith’s book “Learner English: A teacher’s guide to interference and other problems”, I think you will find it fascinating reading.

“First-language interference” is only part of the reason that grammar takes a while to develop. For another part, see: sdkrashen.com/SL_Acquisition … index.html
This book is a little dated now but, for the most part, it has been supported by more recent research.

[quote=“TomHill”][quote=“Namahottie”]

Hell, just change it to The dammest things parents say. quote]

I hate to say it, but that would have to be Dammedest not ‘dammest.’ You gotta get that D in there! :smiley:[/quote][/quote]

Okay the gig is up. I’m just masquerading as an English teacher but I’m actually big brother watching this site. :smiley:

[quote=“TomHill”][quote=“Namahottie”]

Hell, just change it to The dammest things parents say. [/quote]

I hate to say it, but that would have to be Dammedest not ‘dammest.’ You gotta get that D in there! :smiley:[/quote]

The Grammar Police sez:

Actually, kids, it would be Damnedest.

Now y’all drive home safely. :cop:

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“TomHill”][quote=“Namahottie”]

Hell, just change it to The dammest things parents say. quote]

I hate to say it, but that would have to be Dammedest not ‘dammest.’ You gotta get that D in there! :smiley:[/quote]

Okay the gig is up. I’m just masquerading as an English teacher but I’m actually big brother watching this site. :smiley:[/quote][/quote]

Shouldn’t that be the jig is up?

Some quotes from the mothers at my school:

“Can you please ask Johnny to study? He won’t listen to me, but he’ll listen to you.”

“Haaaaaaaahhh! Only a 92 on my son’t test! Is it because he didn’t study?” (Duh, you are the mother, how the hell should I know?)

“My child can’t read this new book. The writing is too small. It will hurt his eyes.”

One time our school put on a huge drama show for the parents. On the day of the big show we had a dress rehearsal before the event. The response from one mother? “This is a bad idea. Now, my child doesn’t have time to do her Chinese homework.” It was on a SATURDAY.

(After a weekend in Kenting I walked into school with a tan and slightly red cheeks)…“How can she teach my child? She has been drinking!!!” (They thought I was dark and reddish because I had been on the whisky!)

From a student: 'My Mommy says that you don’t have children because you and your husband didn’t drink the Chinese medicine." (No, Billy, we just don’t WANT children!).

Another student, after showing the kids pictures I had taken when on holiday in Africa: “My mommy say black people are so bad. So dirty. My mommy don’t like, my father don’t like, and my brother don’t like, and I don’t like. They are so bad.” The scary thing was, a number of other kids in the class agreed. :noway: I have spent a LOT of time with this class and others trying to dispell all of these terrible prejudices that the parents install in their little heads. There has been a lot of improvement, thank goodness…

There are thousands, I could go on forever…

I teach adults so, thank God, I don’t have to deal with parents. However, I sometimes wish mom and dad would say a few things to their (supposedly) adult children who take one of my courses, e.g.:

“If you want to take a nap, do it on your own time.” I have ocassional nappers in one of my larger night classes. I always wake them up, in front of everyone :smiling_imp: .

“Unless you are A-bien’s bodyguard or work as an ER doctor, turn your fucking cell phone off when you come to class.” I will generally stop class, walk over to the cell phone talker, and explain to the caller that we are all waiting for the call to end so that we can continue with our classwork.

“Taking a writing class but not actually practicing writing is like joining a gym, staring at the equipment for a while, and then retiring to the local Starbucks. Without exercising. You’d have been better off staying home.”

“If you want to attend class with your boyfriend or girlfriend, save the kissy face and the deep conversations until a break, or after class.”

“Paying tuition does not actually buy you a good test score. You actually have to work to get one of those.”

I suppose it is a sign of my age that I truly despair for the under 30 generation. Very few are capable of taking responsibilty for their own futures. The business majors are the worst of the lot, by far.

One of my favorite students told me something similar. His parents told him that black people are such and such. Funny, every time I have his class, he runs to help me out and let me hug him. :laughing: Maybe it’s just a case of I’m one of those black people. :unamused: :laughing: