The Dumbest/Funniest Things My Significant Other Says (II)

[color=green][b]Moderator’s note: split from Part I [url=

My wife can carry electricity in her handbag … :astonished: ???

wife: honey, where is my handbag?
me: how should I know … it’s your bag, I don’t carry handbags … :slight_smile:
wife: oh, right behind you …
me: ok … I’ll …
wife: can you give me my electricity?
me: … ??? electricity?
wife: yes … electricity for my phone …
me: darling … these things are called battery … we are not able to carry electricity around in a handbag yet … :laughing:

[quote=“belgian pie”]My wife can carry electricity in her handbag … :astonished: ???

she’s one hot woman. :slight_smile:

The other night my wife was swatting at a mosquito flying around our room and was heard to exclaim

I just spent a week with my gf in Malaysia. Every time she came up with a winner, I said that would have to be one for Forumosa’s thread.

Now I can hardly remember any of them… :frowning:

One though, was that we had great fun collecting “sea shelves” on the beach.

“Stanley, please take a picture on me.” :smiling_imp:

shouldn’t that be “video?” :smiling_imp:

wife (in other room watching TV): Oh my god!

me: What is it?

Wife: This old guy is Taichung was beared for 26 hours.

me: Huh? Beared?

Wife: BEARED. In the ground.

me (finally walking into the room, looking at TV): Ahhhh, buried.

Wife: Get out.

SO (in other room watching TV): Oh my god!

me: What is it?

SO: This old guy is Taichung was beared for 26 hours.

me: Huh? Beared?

SO: BEARED. In the Tavern.

me (finally walking into the room, after coming home a day late, Homer Simpson voice, looking at TV): Ahhhh, beered!!!

SO: Go to bed (sigh).

SO: Do you love me?

Me: Yes. I love you.

SO: Why?


That’s not dumb … it’s an invitation for flattery. If you didn’t provide any, you failed the test! Flowers and an expensive dinner will be required to make up for your blunder! :wink:

[quote=“DSN”]So my gf asks which currency in the world has the lowest nominal value. I said I wasn’t sure. Maybe Korean won? The lire (Italy) used to be one of the worst, but of course they use the Euro now.

Her response: “So they must have had a real advantage when they started using the Euro”. i.e. 1 Euro = 1 Deutsche mark, 1 Euro = 1 lire etc. !!! You’re loco…

Here’s the best part: My gf is a Banking and Finance graduate![/quote]The Korean Won is a good guess at $US1 = 1000Won and is the lowest valued currency of all OECD countries. But the record is $US1 = 24,500 Zimbabwean dollars

Stanley: [while watching some politician on TV] “Oh, bollocks to you!”

SO: “You are going to give him a bulldog? From Engwen, so expensive! Wasting money. Ai yoo!”


Stanley (I talk bulldogs, therefore I am).

1 US Dollar = 1,353,000 Turkish Lira

Had some great fun with that one on our FX systems when I used to work in London. Fortunately they revalued and now use New Turkish Lira.

I met some guys who worked in Turkey and due to the rampant inflation about 10 years ago they used to get a 70-80% pay rise every month!

Today my wife had another laps;

Someone wanted to take out a vegetarian and a seafood dish. FYI, they are packed in a cup with transparent lid.

wife: honey can you mark them seafood and vegetarian …

me: :astonished: …? Women! … The vegetarian is the one without fish! They can see that … can’t they … I know people are idiots but not morons … the other one … the one with the fish is the the seafood … I think they can figure that one out … :s

wife: oh … sure … :s

The first time I went to my ex’s home, I asked him infront of his family “Is your dad retarded?” (translation: is your dad retired?)

And no…thats not the reason why we broke up.

The other day, I was at a loss for what a washing machine was, in Chinese, and ended up asking the SO to open the “bin xiang-de pong yo” (refrigerator’s friend).

It hard somtimes to communicate in a language that is not native to you… I remenber when I was at my ex GF family’s home… we were eating… I did not know that the Mexican word for bread was different than one used in parts of South America…

I wanted to say to her mother “Can you give me more of that good bread you made?”

What end up saying was “Can you give me more of that good P**sy you have?”


My Taiwanese wife and I had decided we were going to take a trip into the country,
She was quite excited and exclaimed “Maybe we will see some lamps?”

I replied “Probibly, they have electricity in the country too you know”

She looked at me puzzled and said “no… Lamps…you know…Sheets…”

Now am really confused…“What?” I said

“You know…they live in the pasture and the farmer grows them for wool”

She really doesnt like me correcting her so I just left her explaination alone… :help:

Mary Had a little Lamp… :noway:

Your restraint is noble. :bravo:

As to the ‘bing xiang de peng you’, whenever I need a word I don’t know, I just reduce it to caveman talk: wash clothes machine: xi yi ji.

me: baby the dog ate my thermometer.

her: why did you feed our dog a thermometer?

me: I didn’t !

her: how did she get it then?

me: I dunno, maybe the cat gave it to her.

her: why did the cat give the dog a thermometer… are you trying to be funny?

me: I guess not.

everyday is like this and everyday she makes me laugh. I am a very lucky man.